WWYD Son’s BFF had suicide attempt a few months ago mom wants me to have him at our house for a week

[Anonymous]

"Mom wants ... "

She doesn't get something she wants --- just because she wants it ---- suicide or not

Where is your nerve Op? Isn't being strong in the face of pressure something you'd like to teach your children?

[Anonymous]

I’m trying to imagine it from the parents’ perspective. Maybe they’re at their breaking point and simply need some time to come up for air. After all, many of us are exhausted by this pandemic experience let alone such a frightening and unrelenting worry.

Still, though, a week is too long, and this is something to ask a relative, not a friend.

I like the advice you got upthread - get medical POA, you hold onto the medications, check-ins with therapist every 2-3 days. I too would be afraid if I said no that this young man would be left alone or who knows. You’re a good person to consider doing this for him, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine it from the parents’ perspective. Maybe they’re at their breaking point and simply need some time to come up for air. After all, many of us are exhausted by this pandemic experience let alone such a frightening and unrelenting worry.

Still, though, a week is too long, and this is something to ask a relative, not a friend.

I like the advice you got upthread - get medical POA, you hold onto the medications, check-ins with therapist every 2-3 days. I too would be afraid if I said no that this young man would be left alone or who knows. You’re a good person to consider doing this for him, OP.

Even at your breaking point, you don't leave your child with others when they are having mental health issues. They need your support. Or, take them on vacation with you. I cannot imagine leaving my teen for a week and not thinking twice.

[Anonymous]

I disagree. Dealing with a lot of teen trauma on my end, these parents need a respite. It is really really really hard. If he is in a stable place give them the grace of having him for a week and know that you are close to the ER if you need help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m trying to imagine it from the parents’ perspective. Maybe they’re at their breaking point and simply need some time to come up for air. After all, many of us are exhausted by this pandemic experience let alone such a frightening and unrelenting worry.

Still, though, a week is too long, and this is something to ask a relative, not a friend.

I like the advice you got upthread - get medical POA, you hold onto the medications, check-ins with therapist every 2-3 days. I too would be afraid if I said no that this young man would be left alone or who knows. You’re a good person to consider doing this for him, OP.

No!!! WTF?!?!!

My sisters oldest ended up in-patient and they didn’t leave him alone for a long time. The last thing they would have felt like doing was going on vacation. Most normal loving parents would not abandon the kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Dealing with a lot of teen trauma on my end, these parents need a respite. It is really really really hard. If he is in a stable place give them the grace of having him for a week and know that you are close to the ER if you need help.

They need a respite. No, they need to work on their family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, shitty parents.

How do you know this?

Maybe they have more obligations than just the one troubled son.

[Anonymous]

What’s the alternative? Will they just leave him alone if you say no?

I want to say NO WAY should be the answer, but if they’re just going to leave him otherwise, I’d consider it.

[Anonymous]

God, *I* want to ask the parents what they are thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree. Dealing with a lot of teen trauma on my end, these parents need a respite. It is really really really hard. If he is in a stable place give them the grace of having him for a week and know that you are close to the ER if you need help.

When you have kids, your kids come first

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it could be fine depending on what kind of treatment he's gotten and how he's doing. I am assuming the parents would not ask if the kid were in crisis.

For comparison my kid and my friend's kid both had mental health crises a few months ago and both kids have been in treatment, are on medication, and are doing OK now. It just depends.

The parents display a total lack of judgement to A. be traveling long distance on vacation during a pandemic and B. leaving their recently suicide attempting child so they can go on vacation during a pandemic.

So no, your assumption is extremely faulty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it could be fine depending on what kind of treatment he's gotten and how he's doing. I am assuming the parents would not ask if the kid were in crisis.

For comparison my kid and my friend's kid both had mental health crises a few months ago and both kids have been in treatment, are on medication, and are doing OK now. It just depends.

The parents display a total lack of judgement to A. be traveling long distance on vacation during a pandemic and B. leaving their recently suicide attempting child so they can go on vacation during a pandemic.

So no, your assumption is extremely faulty.

This.

If they want to go on vacation, they do so separately. One of them stays with the kid or within an emergency trip away. For the people insisting the OP deal with a non-family member's hospitalization because the kid's own parents won't - hell no.

Call CPS if they're so neglectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it could be fine depending on what kind of treatment he's gotten and how he's doing. I am assuming the parents would not ask if the kid were in crisis.

For comparison my kid and my friend's kid both had mental health crises a few months ago and both kids have been in treatment, are on medication, and are doing OK now. It just depends.

The parents display a total lack of judgement to A. be traveling long distance on vacation during a pandemic and B. leaving their recently suicide attempting child so they can go on vacation during a pandemic.

So no, your assumption is extremely faulty.

This.

If they want to go on vacation, they do so separately. One of them stays with the kid or within an emergency trip away. For the people insisting the OP deal with a non-family member's hospitalization because the kid's own parents won't - hell no.

Call CPS if they're so neglectful.

Its not neglect if parents have a caretaker while on vacation. Its poor judgement.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. The pandemic/ surge is reason #1. Secondly, I very much doubt this child’s therapist agrees this is a good idea, if the parents have even run it by him/her. That makes me wonder what other advice they’ve disregarded. I get wanting to help, but these people are trying to take advantage of your son’s friendship with their child. If they go and leave the kid behind, you should not hesitate to call CPS.

[Anonymous]

No and I would be very upfront with Susie even if it ruins our friendship. "Susie, you know I love Tyler and value our friendship, which is why I'm about to say this.

He needs you right now. I'm not sure why you'd go on vacation without him just months after his suicide attempt. I can't in good conscience take him into my home because that could causes another episode and I will not have that on my conscience. Whatever you do, I hope you don't leave him."