divorced parents of young kids - how do you split christmas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He is probably just catching on that divorce makes it harder to plan the holidays and harder to get his child time with the extended family. Men can be dense like that. Or his family is just coming around to see that divorce is permanent and will be their reality every year. Have some patience with him but you don't have to give him what he wants all the time.

Just to clarify, there is no extended family in the mix. By his family I meant his wife and step-children.

Given he little time he has and the fact that her dad has a new family, I think you could have tried harder to make it work. Your daughter needs to find her place in that new family and avoiding a rushed breakfast is not a reason to get in the way of her opportunity to find that place.

If the dad wanted time the dad should have planned for it the first time they made an agreement. He is trying to change the deal at the last minute and that is an annoying habit that OP does not have to indulge.

PP to whom you are responding. This isn't about dad. It's about how their daughter finds her place in her new life, which now consists of a whole family on her father's side. She didn't choose any of this and it would be really helpful to her if her mother assisted in the adjustment by letting her become part of the new family's traditions.

Maybe the leisurely morning is her mom"s tradition. The child and her mom are a family too. The dad does not get to unilaterally change what he already agreed to, and if he wants her to become part of his new family he should have thought of it earlier. How much does he really care if he could not be bothered to plan?

There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

She didn’t “offer”— that is what he wanted. If you read prior posts they divorced when the child was an infant and he showed zero interest until she was three. Probably because his new wife realized that was pretty crappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

This, 100x. Dad has a new family and wants to play Mr. Good Daddy to impress his new wife. He gets all the fun and happy times. Mom gets the commute and the homework and whatever scraps of time is left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

This, 100x. Dad has a new family and wants to play Mr. Good Daddy to impress his new wife. He gets all the fun and happy times. Mom gets the commute and the homework and whatever scraps of time is left.

We don't know the entire situation. Maybe mom cheated and left dad. So, he was divorced by her choices. So, yes, he is entitled to remarry and have more kids. He's asking for more time and she's refusing She cannot play victim and complain about things like homework if she doesn't allow him equal time so he has time to do the homework. Why should Dad get what ever scraps mom wants to give?.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

She choose to be the custodial mom with limited visitation for the other parent. She could have said 50/50 or let Dad be the CP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

She choose to be the custodial mom with limited visitation for the other parent. She could have said 50/50 or let Dad be the CP.

Did you figure out a way to give someone 50/50 against their will? Or do you think judges are there to do what the mom wants? The presumption today is pretty much 50/50 so all the father had to go to get it is open his mouth. Understandably, he opted to do someone else to do the hard work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

This, 100x. Dad has a new family and wants to play Mr. Good Daddy to impress his new wife. He gets all the fun and happy times. Mom gets the commute and the homework and whatever scraps of time is left.

We don't know the entire situation. Maybe mom cheated and left dad. So, he was divorced by her choices. So, yes, he is entitled to remarry and have more kids. He's asking for more time and she's refusing She cannot play victim and complain about things like homework if she doesn't allow him equal time so he has time to do the homework. Why should Dad get what ever scraps mom wants to give?.

He didn't ask for equal time. He asked for fun time. We don't know the entire situation but OP is the one posting here, not her ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

This, 100x. Dad has a new family and wants to play Mr. Good Daddy to impress his new wife. He gets all the fun and happy times. Mom gets the commute and the homework and whatever scraps of time is left.

We don't know the entire situation. Maybe mom cheated and left dad. So, he was divorced by her choices. So, yes, he is entitled to remarry and have more kids. He's asking for more time and she's refusing She cannot play victim and complain about things like homework if she doesn't allow him equal time so he has time to do the homework. Why should Dad get what ever scraps mom wants to give?.

He didn't ask for equal time. He asked for fun time. We don't know the entire situation but OP is the one posting here, not her ex.

Yes. And what are the chances that DH is the “peach” here? Pretty slim.

[Anonymous]

Just do every other year from now on. Next year one gets thanksgiving and one gets Christmas.

[Anonymous]

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

This, 100x. Dad has a new family and wants to play Mr. Good Daddy to impress his new wife. He gets all the fun and happy times. Mom gets the commute and the homework and whatever scraps of time is left.

Sounds like a typical man. Steps in for the easy part. Hands off the heavy parenting to mom.

Ex and I alternate holidays. I prefer for the kids to be with one or the other parent for the full holiday, and not shuttle back and forth. This year my kids and I did Christmas on the 27th. Actually, ex brought the kids to me and he was there while they opened gifts.

[Anonymous]

DD spends Christmas with me (mom). We intended to switch every year (families are far apart), but ExDH decided to give me Christmas each year bc there are no other kids on his side of the family and my side has a herd of cousins. We may change this whenever his siblings start having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
There is no agreement for holidays. She offered every other weekend. He choose not to argue about it as reality is as a man he wouldn't get 50/50 without a court battle. She isn't flexible in any way over the visitation schedule. She probably wanted the visitation schedule limited so she can get more child support. Now she's restricting visits and not being flexible and soon will stop visits all together. Its clear to see where this is going.

It's just so funny that these types of fathers begin to want flexibility only on fun days and only when the child is already verbal and potty trained. No one ever says to the custodial mom- hey, can I have some flexibility to help you change diapers? or get up at night? or run her to the Dr. appointment? It's always fun that they want. No one ever volunteers to help with the nonfun parts.

This, 100x. Dad has a new family and wants to play Mr. Good Daddy to impress his new wife. He gets all the fun and happy times. Mom gets the commute and the homework and whatever scraps of time is left.

We don't know the entire situation. Maybe mom cheated and left dad. So, he was divorced by her choices. So, yes, he is entitled to remarry and have more kids. He's asking for more time and she's refusing She cannot play victim and complain about things like homework if she doesn't allow him equal time so he has time to do the homework. Why should Dad get what ever scraps mom wants to give?.

He didn't ask for equal time. He asked for fun time. We don't know the entire situation but OP is the one posting here, not her ex.

Its Angry NPD Sexless Dad Troll again.