Dating a Red Piller

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's a "man going his own way" why is he dating?

OP here. That is a part of why I’m so confused. He has taken me on very nice and thoughtful pre-planned dates. We have great conversation and physical attraction. But he had multiple posts tagged with these things.

Maybe he posted that stuff when he was going through a dry spell/ depressive episode/ low self esteem period but never fully bought in. Or he did buy in, but wants you to prove him wrong. Or, as others said, he’s dating you but sees you through a red pill lens. We can’t unscramble him for you, OP, but we can tell you to RUN! Because it doesn’t matter why he posted that crap, the fact that even took it seriously is a total hard-no dealbreaker.

+1. True dat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is incel? Are posters just making up words? [/quote

This is what I found out: A member of an online subculture of people (mostly men) who define themselves as unable to find a romantic or sexual partner despite desiring one.
Discussions in incel forums are often characterized by resentment, misogyny, misanthropy, self-pity and self-loathing, racism, a sense of entitlement to sex, and the endorsement of violence against sexually active people

+ sometimes under the guise of MRA

I blame Hillary Clinton and all of these other women stepping out of their assigned biological gender role


/s

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just like anything, there are varying degrees of what people take out of any ideology.

I am a man who frequents the redpill subreddit. I found it after a particularly harsh breakup and it opened my eyes into what I was doing wrong with women. Not having a strong father figure, I learned how to deal with women from romantic comedies, Disney movies, and love songs. And that's how I did things, which is not how the world works.

Since stumbling upon this, I am more successful with women and just overall happier. Ignore the extreme edges of the ideology and focus on its core tenants. Which I won't get into here.

OP here. Thank you for chiming in. One of the issues for me is that the ideology paints all women as the same and wanting the same thing. I think that is far from true. By thinking that way you strip a woman of her voice and ability to community her preferences.

For instance, with respect to the guy I’m dating there are two things I’ve notice he does after learning more about red pill mgtow stuff, that the philosophies advocate. I dislike both those things. They definitely don’t make me more attracted to him, they are annoying actually. But I had been tolerating them because there are a lot of other things about his personality I do like.

If you’ve been dating for 2.5 months, why not just talk to him about what he actually thinks? There’s a huge range of opinion that could be characterized as “red pill,” ranging from the crazy and dysfunctional—if he were that, my guess is there would be other signs—to views that are just a bit unorthodox/contrarian, to what is effectively just remedial education for those who don’t find the process of dating particularly intuitive. Especially if he has treated you reasonably well thus far, I wouldn’t bail just based on an assessment of internet posts that may or may not actually reflect his views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If he's a "man going his own way" why is he dating?

OP here. That is a part of why I’m so confused. He has taken me on very nice and thoughtful pre-planned dates. We have great conversation and physical attraction. But he had multiple posts tagged with these things.

You have nothing to lose at this point, so ask him. His answer will probably help you to make the right choice.

If you were my daughter, I would tell you do a fade out, make yourself unappealing, hope he dumps you. If I were dating this guy, I would be so curious, I think I'd have to ask him a bunch of questions. Maybe either approach will lead to the relationship ending?

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of young men read this stuff but a much smaller percentage are hardcore.

I’d always been friend zoned by women and always the reliable guy they could lean on and tell me about their breakups. In reading on how I could up my game I stumbled on this red pill stuff and, while I still have the same high level of respect for women, my approach is entirely different.

For example, I play the field more with women rather than ditching them all when one woman acts like she likes me. I’d been burned on that before when we break up and I’ve burned bridges.

Also, I don’t engage in chatty text messages, I let my intention be known in a nice way. I set a date and make the date. I don’t emote all of my feelings. I no longer text chat all day while I’m working. If I feel I’m not appreciated I don’t keep giving of myself. I used to be the guy several beautiful women would ask to move their furniture after they got railed by some guy who wasn’t in my opinion as good as me.

In other words reading this stuff has made me realize my self worth.

I don’t think the people who say dump this guy actually have read the stuff. Or they have only read extreme women hating stuff.

[Anonymous]

Also, a lot of it is like the male version of that Rules for women book a few years ago.

[Anonymous]

Do not ask him about it. If he does believe in these things there’s a lot of anger there. If you confront him, it could all come to the surface especially once you deviate from the nice, receptive female role. It could even be explosive and all at once. I agree with the slow fade - move on.

[Anonymous]

Ok, setting aside the content of “red pill” ideology, I wonder about the judgement of someone who posts such things on the internet under their own name. Potential friends, partners, and employers all Google people now. I wouldn’t want to date someone dumb enough to think that what they post on the internet just magically disappears.

[Anonymous]

think a lot of young men read this stuff but a much smaller percentage are hardcore.

I’d always been friend zoned by women and always the reliable guy they could lean on and tell me about their breakups. In reading on how I could up my game I stumbled on this red pill stuff and, while I still have the same high level of respect for women, my approach is entirely different.

For example, I play the field more with women rather than ditching them all when one woman acts like she likes me. I’d been burned on that before when we break up and I’ve burned bridges.

Also, I don’t engage in chatty text messages, I let my intention be known in a nice way. I set a date and make the date. I don’t emote all of my feelings. I no longer text chat all day while I’m working. If I feel I’m not appreciated I don’t keep giving of myself. I used to be the guy several beautiful women would ask to move their furniture after they got railed by some guy who wasn’t in my opinion as good as me.

In other words reading this stuff has made me realize my self worth.

I don’t think the people who say dump this guy actually have read the stuff. Or they have only read extreme women hating stuff.

This doesn't sound like red pill. It sounds like establishing your boundaries. when i was dating, I did many of the same things (I'm a woman). Dont fall for someone right away, assume they are dating others, dont engage in stupid endless texting, just meet and either pursue if there's chemistry or nicely end it.

[Anonymous]

I looked it up, and that is truly horrifying. Break things off amicably, and then never look back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of young men read this stuff but a much smaller percentage are hardcore.

I’d always been friend zoned by women and always the reliable guy they could lean on and tell me about their breakups. In reading on how I could up my game I stumbled on this red pill stuff and, while I still have the same high level of respect for women, my approach is entirely different.

For example, I play the field more with women rather than ditching them all when one woman acts like she likes me. I’d been burned on that before when we break up and I’ve burned bridges.

Also, I don’t engage in chatty text messages, I let my intention be known in a nice way. I set a date and make the date. I don’t emote all of my feelings. I no longer text chat all day while I’m working. If I feel I’m not appreciated I don’t keep giving of myself. I used to be the guy several beautiful women would ask to move their furniture after they got railed by some guy who wasn’t in my opinion as good as me.

In other words reading this stuff has made me realize my self worth.

I don’t think the people who say dump this guy actually have read the stuff. Or they have only read extreme women hating stuff.

I've read the stuff and heard it ad nauseam from a close family member who is a firm believer in the daygame philosophy.

I'm pretty sure that OP has a different term for their relationship than her boyfriend. She is not his girlfriend. They're just "lovers" by his account.

[Anonymous]

Hell no. Red pillers and incels hate women. Run, run run from this scumbag.

[Anonymous]

Yes, run, run like the wind! I might even advise ghosting him and just disappearing from his life because this kind of guy can be dangerous when you break up with him. Ask me how I know about that one...But really, don't let your non-asshole self convince you that that's a shitty way to break up. Here you need to do what you need to do to protect yourself.

[Anonymous]

Extremely bad. Do not ask him about it, do the slow fade. You do not want to be the target of his venom.

[Anonymous]

For a year I was paying attention to red pill / MGTOW videos. A thing to keep in mind is that a lot of the videos actually give some advice to men about relationship traps to avoid. Things like narcissisms, daddy issues, dating women with children, dealing with "CHADs". A lot of it not anti-women per se, it is more about identifying and avoiding poor relationships. Yes, the next step is become a womanizer or relationship vampire who sucks women's most valuable years away. So, be careful about that. But it doesn't mean he is there yet.