My ex-boyfriends ex-wife is stalking me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In VA, it’s a crime to repeatedly call someone like that.

How do you press charges? Is the phone record as evidence enough? Not op.

You call the local police station and say you want to file a report. The call log on your phone is enough evidence to start the investigation. While filing the report, they ask you questions. One is “do you know who this person could be”. You tell them you think it’s Susie Smith. They ask why. You say it’s because you were dating her ex-husband, and she has also been seen on your street twice, without reason to be there. They ask if you are willing to press charges (which potentially means facing Susie and her attorney in court). You say yes.

They call your elderly neighbor and ask about the Susie sighting. They ask about any other info the neighbor might know (has neighbor ever seen the ex-husband at your house, etc). They call Susie and ask her if she knows about the phone calls. She either says no, or she tells them she did it. The detective takes this to the commonwealth’s attorney and they decide if they are going to bring charges. Doesn’t really matter, because the call/visit from the police will likely get the behavior to stop.

Keep in mind though, the cops aren’t going to come over on your schedule. They’ll get there when they get there. If you are trying to keep this a secret from someone else in your house, that might be difficult. In my experience, they will accommodate “can you come over while my minor child is at school or in bed”, but may not accommodate “can you come home at 11 am when my husband goes for his five mile jog”.

[Anonymous]

Op again

Ex bf has a child and 50/50 custody. I have a grueling schedule and wanted to date someone who had more flexibility with their time. Which is why we are now just friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op again

Ex bf has a child and 50/50 custody. I have a grueling schedule and wanted to date someone who had more flexibility with their time. Which is why we are now just friends.

Ok. So you broke up the marriage. Now that he has the kids, the affair isn't so much fun anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In VA, it’s a crime to repeatedly call someone like that.

How do you press charges? Is the phone record as evidence enough? Not op.

You call the local police station and say you want to file a report. The call log on your phone is enough evidence to start the investigation. While filing the report, they ask you questions. One is “do you know who this person could be”. You tell them you think it’s Susie Smith. They ask why. You say it’s because you were dating her ex-husband, and she has also been seen on your street twice, without reason to be there. They ask if you are willing to press charges (which potentially means facing Susie and her attorney in court). You say yes.

They call your elderly neighbor and ask about the Susie sighting. They ask about any other info the neighbor might know (has neighbor ever seen the ex-husband at your house, etc). They call Susie and ask her if she knows about the phone calls. She either says no, or she tells them she did it. The detective takes this to the commonwealth’s attorney and they decide if they are going to bring charges. Doesn’t really matter, because the call/visit from the police will likely get the behavior to stop.

Keep in mind though, the cops aren’t going to come over on your schedule. They’ll get there when they get there. If you are trying to keep this a secret from someone else in your house, that might be difficult. In my experience, they will accommodate “can you come over while my minor child is at school or in bed”, but may not accommodate “can you come home at 11 am when my husband goes for his five mile jog”.

Thank you for this post. I live alone, I'm going to just call them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op again

Ex bf has a child and 50/50 custody. I have a grueling schedule and wanted to date someone who had more flexibility with their time. Which is why we are now just friends.

Ok. So you broke up the marriage. Now that he has the kids, the affair isn't so much fun anymore.

How did I break up a marriage? Did you see my post before this?
Or are you trying to fit some narrative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here

Dated ex briefly before the ink was dry on the divorce papers. Before some of you look too much into this he moved out, lived on his own in a different city I know this because I'd visit and hang out.. He's now legally divorced ( google is free). We are friends, I live alone. Our street was in reference to my elderly neighbor. Some elderly folks notice random cars that are on the street. This car on particular stands out in color and so does she. I know it's her because I answered one of the calls on the off chance it was an emergency I heard something distinct in her background.

Dated ex briefly before the ink was dry on the divorce papers

Distinct? WTF?

So she's black? The car stands out in color and 'so does she'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In VA, it’s a crime to repeatedly call someone like that.

How do you press charges? Is the phone record as evidence enough? Not op.

You call the local police station and say you want to file a report. The call log on your phone is enough evidence to start the investigation. While filing the report, they ask you questions. One is “do you know who this person could be”. You tell them you think it’s Susie Smith. They ask why. You say it’s because you were dating her ex-husband, and she has also been seen on your street twice, without reason to be there. They ask if you are willing to press charges (which potentially means facing Susie and her attorney in court). You say yes.

They call your elderly neighbor and ask about the Susie sighting. They ask about any other info the neighbor might know (has neighbor ever seen the ex-husband at your house, etc). They call Susie and ask her if she knows about the phone calls. She either says no, or she tells them she did it. The detective takes this to the commonwealth’s attorney and they decide if they are going to bring charges. Doesn’t really matter, because the call/visit from the police will likely get the behavior to stop.

Keep in mind though, the cops aren’t going to come over on your schedule. They’ll get there when they get there. If you are trying to keep this a secret from someone else in your house, that might be difficult. In my experience, they will accommodate “can you come over while my minor child is at school or in bed”, but may not accommodate “can you come home at 11 am when my husband goes for his five mile jog”.

Thank you for this post. I live alone, I'm going to just call them.

Sorry, I wasn’t specific in my first post, and just want to clarify: there has to be demonstrable intent to annoy. Telemarketers and election-related calls don’t count under this procedure. (Just in case...)

[Anonymous]

I say beat her ass.
Why waste time stressing about this chick’s intentions when it’s obvious she’s asking for a whupping.

Give it to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here

Dated ex briefly before the ink was dry on the divorce papers. Before some of you look too much into this he moved out, lived on his own in a different city I know this because I'd visit and hang out.. He's now legally divorced ( google is free). We are friends, I live alone. Our street was in reference to my elderly neighbor. Some elderly folks notice random cars that are on the street. This car on particular stands out in color and so does she. I know it's her because I answered one of the calls on the off chance it was an emergency I heard something distinct in her background.

Dated ex briefly before the ink was dry on the divorce papers
He had filed for divorce and it took longer to be finalized because of covid.

Distinct? WTF?

So she's black? The car stands out in color and 'so does she'.

No she's not black.
I hope you stretched before that reach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say beat her ass.
Why waste time stressing about this chick’s intentions when it’s obvious she’s asking for a whupping.

Give it to her.

Lol. I have too much to lose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore these people. Call the police.

The police will not do anything from what you describe. No threats have been made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore these people. Call the police.

The police will not do anything from what you describe. No threats have been made.

They may, or they may not. But filing a report starts a record for when it escalates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here

Dated ex briefly before the ink was dry on the divorce papers. Before some of you look too much into this he moved out, lived on his own in a different city I know this because I'd visit and hang out.. He's now legally divorced ( google is free). We are friends, I live alone. Our street was in reference to my elderly neighbor. Some elderly folks notice random cars that are on the street. This car on particular stands out in color and so does she. I know it's her because I answered one of the calls on the off chance it was an emergency I heard something distinct in her background.

Dated ex briefly before the ink was dry on the divorce papers

Distinct? WTF?

So she's black? The car stands out in color and 'so does she'.

Are you racist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore these people. Call the police.

The police will not do anything from what you describe. No threats have been made.

They may, or they may not. But filing a report starts a record for when it escalates.

I was hoping to avoid this, but it's probably best that something is on record.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ignore these people. Call the police.

The police will not do anything from what you describe. No threats have been made.

They may, or they may not. But filing a report starts a record for when it escalates.

I was hoping to avoid this, but it's probably best that something is on record.

Likely, they will just contact her and tell her to knock it off. Which is your goal.