If we know a family is struggling with tuition, can we give anonymous gift to sponsor their child?

[Anonymous]

OP, go for it. Don't have the school lie. Just pay off the balance or what ever you can for the year and like others said its an gift from someone who cares

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would a school allow us to give $X, they then contact the family and pretend they found $X in aid or scholarship for their child? Or something along those lines. We don't want to embarrass them and we don't want them to know we gave it.

So beautiful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would a school allow us to give $X, they then contact the family and pretend they found $X in aid or scholarship for their child? Or something along those lines. We don't want to embarrass them and we don't want them to know we gave it.

Np. How long do you plan on helping them out? You sound like a good person but could you honestly do this for years? Ultimately, the family will have to live within their means.

Not the OP but even if it’s just for this year... let the student finish the year and reassess options. The school May be able to kick in the additional funds or maybe the family has to leave. But to have a kid leave mid year when they’ve been a valued member of the school community? During Covid? Clearly this is a special family if another family wants to pay their tuition.

I wonder if some of these posters aren’t private school parents. I have no idea who is on FA and who isn’t but we greatly value our school and its families. Especially now with the economy in limbo, families around the country are struggling. I’m so happy that this student will be able to finish out the year with his/her classmates.

[Anonymous]

Are we talking a Xbox or a PlayStation for the gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

I think you are being ungenerous, and I say that as someone who firmly understands that private school is a luxury. Sometimes families experience unexpected setbacks, and disrupting a child's education at the same time would compound their trauma. I applaud the OP, even if that money could feed a hungry child in India or whatever. We do good where we can.

Well said, PP.

[Anonymous]

I did this. It was for a distant relative whose mother was on welfare and going to a private would be the only way to keep her DD out of trouble that brews in public school. Tuition was relatively cheap like $5k/year. I made a tax-deductible $5,500 donation to the school's "tuition assistance fund" and the HOS and I had a verbal agreement that she'd make sure this relative's tuition is taken care of. The key is I donated a bit more than the actual tuition so it didn't seem on paper like I was just paying someone's tuition.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have a friend in his 70s who has never gotten fully over his private kicking him out when his family couldn't pay after his father died. You are kind to think of this OP.

THIS I understand, especially if it was sudden! What I don't understand is people who are early on in private school, and more or less expect 100% or close to, financial aid every year. No one has a right to a private school education for most years for free or nearly free, do they? How does this work?

Public school trolls, I assume. I'm sure there are stud athletes at certain sports-heavy privates going to free or nearly free, but normal kids? Never seen that before.

What? No, just befuddled that a private school education could be free. I was raised if you can't save and pay for it yourself, it's not yours, that's all. Why is that so hard to understand?

But none of the private schools in our area give out free educations. So, I'm not sure why you're befuddled by something that doesn't happen.

You are being obtuse. OP would be giving a free education.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would a school allow us to give $X, they then contact the family and pretend they found $X in aid or scholarship for their child? Or something along those lines. We don't want to embarrass them and we don't want them to know we gave it.

Np. How long do you plan on helping them out? You sound like a good person but could you honestly do this for years? Ultimately, the family will have to live within their means.

+1

PP here. This is exactly my point. It never occurred to me that "life happening" would let you stay at a school you can't afford. At what point to you teach your child the most important life lesson - how to be resilient and move on, rather than wallow in self pity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I have a friend in his 70s who has never gotten fully over his private kicking him out when his family couldn't pay after his father died. You are kind to think of this OP.

THIS I understand, especially if it was sudden! What I don't understand is people who are early on in private school, and more or less expect 100% or close to, financial aid every year. No one has a right to a private school education for most years for free or nearly free, do they? How does this work?

Public school trolls, I assume. I'm sure there are stud athletes at certain sports-heavy privates going to free or nearly free, but normal kids? Never seen that before.

What? No, just befuddled that a private school education could be free. I was raised if you can't save and pay for it yourself, it's not yours, that's all. Why is that so hard to understand?

But none of the private schools in our area give out free educations. So, I'm not sure why you're befuddled by something that doesn't happen.

You are being obtuse. OP would be giving a free education.

OP didn’t say whether she wanted to pay the whole tuition or not. But surely you are befuddled by the fact that sometimes people contribute to tuition for their loved ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Would a school allow us to give $X, they then contact the family and pretend they found $X in aid or scholarship for their child? Or something along those lines. We don't want to embarrass them and we don't want them to know we gave it.

Np. How long do you plan on helping them out? You sound like a good person but could you honestly do this for years? Ultimately, the family will have to live within their means.

+1

PP here. This is exactly my point. It never occurred to me that "life happening" would let you stay at a school you can't afford. At what point to you teach your child the most important life lesson - how to be resilient and move on, rather than wallow in self pity?

I am the PP who received $ this way due to an ill child. I am confident that my kids have gotten more life lessons about resiliency in the past two years than yours.

[Anonymous]

But you don't get it. I have had kids in the hospital, too. Here is part of another post, talking about just this: "But of course this is not how it works. It is the people without privilege who learn the real unfairness of the world at a very young age. Privileged children only learn about fairness on an individual level. They are rarely taught about the structural unfairness of the world."

That is what I am saying. You think you are immune to "life happening" and you either don't even realize it, or do everything to avoid "that life", or would never admit it.

No one is entitled to anything. Ever. No one is entitled to being "compensated" because their family is in the hospital, as mine have been. Don't pretend you know me or what my family has been through.

You think you are immune. You are not.

[Anonymous]

I know a family who said that their spouse was out of work, but working on the side (under the table) - plus, their MIL was paying the tab. Quite a spiel!

[Anonymous]

Thank you for this, OP. You are a beautiful person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But you don't get it. I have had kids in the hospital, too. Here is part of another post, talking about just this: "But of course this is not how it works. It is the people without privilege who learn the real unfairness of the world at a very young age. Privileged children only learn about fairness on an individual level. They are rarely taught about the structural unfairness of the world."

That is what I am saying. You think you are immune to "life happening" and you either don't even realize it, or do everything to avoid "that life", or would never admit it.

No one is entitled to anything. Ever. No one is entitled to being "compensated" because their family is in the hospital, as mine have been. Don't pretend you know me or what my family has been through.

You think you are immune. You are not.

DP. You are wildly projecting. I don't get your hostility, and it seems pretty tough to live that way, so I hope you are okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But you don't get it. I have had kids in the hospital, too. Here is part of another post, talking about just this: "But of course this is not how it works. It is the people without privilege who learn the real unfairness of the world at a very young age. Privileged children only learn about fairness on an individual level. They are rarely taught about the structural unfairness of the world."

That is what I am saying. You think you are immune to "life happening" and you either don't even realize it, or do everything to avoid "that life", or would never admit it.

No one is entitled to anything. Ever. No one is entitled to being "compensated" because their family is in the hospital, as mine have been. Don't pretend you know me or what my family has been through.

You think you are immune. You are not.

I am sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed you didn’t also have a kid with a terminal illness.

I am confident that my kids, who have two parents (well had, we now have a SAHP) working in fields that provide direct service to people living in poverty, can finish a school year they started at our parish school and still learn about structural inequality. I am not sure why you think it critical that my kids learn that lesson right at that moment. Wouldn’t it make more sense to start a thread about how no one should send their kid to private school, or affluent public school for that matter.

I don’t think I am immune. I never said I would “do anything”, but I also don’t think it’s fair to judge me for accepting a gift that was freely given, or to judge a friend or family member for choosing to spend their money that way.