If we know a family is struggling with tuition, can we give anonymous gift to sponsor their child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

I'm the PP who received something like this.

My healthy kids' world got turned upside down. Understanding that your sibling might die, and watching your sibling suffer and your parents cry, is really hard for kids in elementary school. Having mom gone at the hospital for weeks is really hard for kids in elementary school. Losing their friends and the school community they'd been in since the age of three would have made that harder, especially midyear.

At the same time, we were taking a huge financial loss. I left my job, and so we lost my income. DH cut his overtime so that we could have a parent home for dinner and bedtime on the nights one of us was at the hospital. So, our income fell by more than 50%. At the same time, since we had worked staggered hours before my son's illness, our childcare costs went way up as well. Of course there were medical expenses as well. These weren't temporary changes, as my child's illness will last the rest of our house.

Yes, our public schools are fine, but at the point this happened, my kids needed stability. We would have pulled from retirement or taken a second mortgage to get them through the year, but are incredibly grateful we didn't have to. This year, we've made a different choice educationally, although covid was part of that as well.

I'm not saying you would have made the same choices I did but trust me when I say that if you were in my shoes it would have occurred to you to try and figure out away for your kids to stay.

So wonderful that someone stepped up to help your family. I hope it eased your burden a bit. So sorry to hear that your kids had to change schools this year. Wishing all the best for you and your family!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

I'm the PP who received something like this.

My healthy kids' world got turned upside down. Understanding that your sibling might die, and watching your sibling suffer and your parents cry, is really hard for kids in elementary school. Having mom gone at the hospital for weeks is really hard for kids in elementary school. Losing their friends and the school community they'd been in since the age of three would have made that harder, especially midyear.

At the same time, we were taking a huge financial loss. I left my job, and so we lost my income. DH cut his overtime so that we could have a parent home for dinner and bedtime on the nights one of us was at the hospital. So, our income fell by more than 50%. At the same time, since we had worked staggered hours before my son's illness, our childcare costs went way up as well. Of course there were medical expenses as well. These weren't temporary changes, as my child's illness will last the rest of our house.

Yes, our public schools are fine, but at the point this happened, my kids needed stability. We would have pulled from retirement or taken a second mortgage to get them through the year, but are incredibly grateful we didn't have to. This year, we've made a different choice educationally, although covid was part of that as well.

I'm not saying you would have made the same choices I did but trust me when I say that if you were in my shoes it would have occurred to you to try and figure out away for your kids to stay.

So wonderful that someone stepped up to help your family. I hope it eased your burden a bit. So sorry to hear that your kids had to change schools this year. Wishing all the best for you and your family!!!

OP here, to be clear, we didn't change for financial reasons this year. Since we were already homeschooling my medically fragile child, when the school went virtual we decided to try having them learn together. I don't know if, financially, we would have figured out going back to private without covid, or if the same person would have done the same thing, or if we would have gotten aid, because we didn't try any of those options.

I didn't want to give the impression that our school had let us down this year.

I also wanted to say that the bolded was what happens when you type while talking on the phone to your spouse about house issues. It's supposed to say that my child's illness will last the rest of his life. Thank you to everyone who ignored my mistake!

[Anonymous]

OP you are a good person. Thank God there are people like you. To the PP with the sick child- I hope you and your family are healing and doing better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend in his 70s who has never gotten fully over his private kicking him out when his family couldn't pay after his father died. You are kind to think of this OP.

THIS I understand, especially if it was sudden! What I don't understand is people who are early on in private school, and more or less expect 100% or close to, financial aid every year. No one has a right to a private school education for most years for free or nearly free, do they? How does this work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend in his 70s who has never gotten fully over his private kicking him out when his family couldn't pay after his father died. You are kind to think of this OP.

THIS I understand, especially if it was sudden! What I don't understand is people who are early on in private school, and more or less expect 100% or close to, financial aid every year. No one has a right to a private school education for most years for free or nearly free, do they? How does this work?

Public school trolls, I assume. I'm sure there are stud athletes at certain sports-heavy privates going to free or nearly free, but normal kids? Never seen that before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend in his 70s who has never gotten fully over his private kicking him out when his family couldn't pay after his father died. You are kind to think of this OP.

THIS I understand, especially if it was sudden! What I don't understand is people who are early on in private school, and more or less expect 100% or close to, financial aid every year. No one has a right to a private school education for most years for free or nearly free, do they? How does this work?

Public school trolls, I assume. I'm sure there are stud athletes at certain sports-heavy privates going to free or nearly free, but normal kids? Never seen that before.

What? No, just befuddled that a private school education could be free. I was raised if you can't save and pay for it yourself, it's not yours, that's all. Why is that so hard to understand?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend in his 70s who has never gotten fully over his private kicking him out when his family couldn't pay after his father died. You are kind to think of this OP.

THIS I understand, especially if it was sudden! What I don't understand is people who are early on in private school, and more or less expect 100% or close to, financial aid every year. No one has a right to a private school education for most years for free or nearly free, do they? How does this work?

Public school trolls, I assume. I'm sure there are stud athletes at certain sports-heavy privates going to free or nearly free, but normal kids? Never seen that before.

What? No, just befuddled that a private school education could be free. I was raised if you can't save and pay for it yourself, it's not yours, that's all. Why is that so hard to understand?

But none of the private schools in our area give out free educations. So, I'm not sure why you're befuddled by something that doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

I've never met any financial aid students who went to private school 100% free. Only on the internet does that myth get trafficked, likely by public school trolls.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You are an ass.

+100

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After one of my children was diagnosed with a life threatening illness, someone paid his siblings' tuition. The school didn't pretend it was found money. They just told me that the tuition had been paid, and that the donor preferred to remain anonymous.

+1 This is how our kids' schools have handled it. We have made similar donations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:After one of my children was diagnosed with a life threatening illness, someone paid his siblings' tuition. The school didn't pretend it was found money. They just told me that the tuition had been paid, and that the donor preferred to remain anonymous.

This is the only way to approach it. The school cannot lie to a family about how their tuition is being paid. Making up a fake scholarship or fake financial aid is incredibly unethical.

How is it a lie? Donors donate to financial aid pool all the time, those donations are used to give aid to families. “We’ve found some additional aid for your child” is not a lie.

Because there is a financial aid process, and a pool of funds. At many schools, the identified need of all families based on the SSS process exceeds the amount of funds available. So informing a specific family that additional funds from the financial aid pool are available for that specific family when that is not true is a distortion of the financial aid process that impacts many families, not just the family that received the additional funds.

The alternative that PPP identified--that the tuition had been paid anonymously--is in fact the best and only appropriate way to do it. And as the retired HOS PP stated, another difference is that this is not a deductible gift, whereas a gift to the financial aid pool is of course deductible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

OP wants to help a friend. It is not your place to decide whrre the money should go. You going away will benefit this forum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

It’s their money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

Well then you donate to the general fund and let the OP do what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would a school allow us to give $X, they then contact the family and pretend they found $X in aid or scholarship for their child? Or something along those lines. We don't want to embarrass them and we don't want them to know we gave it.

Np. How long do you plan on helping them out? You sound like a good person but could you honestly do this for years? Ultimately, the family will have to live within their means.