If we know a family is struggling with tuition, can we give anonymous gift to sponsor their child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a retired HOS, I can tell you that you would be among many who have anonymously aided a student. It's important to note, though, that if you give the money for a specific student you cannot take a tax deduction for the donation. Most donors don't mind that.

Any way for DCUM to keep you on retainer to be a voice of reason here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would a school allow us to give $X, they then contact the family and pretend they found $X in aid or scholarship for their child? Or something along those lines. We don't want to embarrass them and we don't want them to know we gave it.

As a family struggling to pay tuition this year (every year), I would encourage you to do so. This would be really impactful for us this year and greatly appreciated.

[Anonymous]

This is so kind. I experienced something similar my senior year at private school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

maybe the family could afford it at the beginning but then a job loss, illness, the covid economic downturn, or something else affected their ability to pay. It's hard to leave a school if your kid is thriving and has settled into friendships.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

I'm the PP who received something like this.

My healthy kids' world got turned upside down. Understanding that your sibling might die, and watching your sibling suffer and your parents cry, is really hard for kids in elementary school. Having mom gone at the hospital for weeks is really hard for kids in elementary school. Losing their friends and the school community they'd been in since the age of three would have made that harder, especially midyear.

At the same time, we were taking a huge financial loss. I left my job, and so we lost my income. DH cut his overtime so that we could have a parent home for dinner and bedtime on the nights one of us was at the hospital. So, our income fell by more than 50%. At the same time, since we had worked staggered hours before my son's illness, our childcare costs went way up as well. Of course there were medical expenses as well. These weren't temporary changes, as my child's illness will last the rest of our house.

Yes, our public schools are fine, but at the point this happened, my kids needed stability. We would have pulled from retirement or taken a second mortgage to get them through the year, but are incredibly grateful we didn't have to. This year, we've made a different choice educationally, although covid was part of that as well.

I'm not saying you would have made the same choices I did but trust me when I say that if you were in my shoes it would have occurred to you to try and figure out away for your kids to stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm curious who you think covers tuition for "true need"? Many private schools in our area cap financial aid at 50%, and only a handful of schools in our area have need blind admissions. The notion that low income families can just go to private because of aid does not reflect reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

I think you are being ungenerous, and I say that as someone who firmly understands that private school is a luxury. Sometimes families experience unexpected setbacks, and disrupting a child's education at the same time would compound their trauma. I applaud the OP, even if that money could feed a hungry child in India or whatever. We do good where we can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagin
e that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

Go away.

OP- you are a kind soul. Contact the financial aid department and see what they say.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:After one of my children was diagnosed with a life threatening illness, someone paid his siblings' tuition. The school didn't pretend it was found money. They just told me that the tuition had been paid, and that the donor preferred to remain anonymous.

There are some good people in the world.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend in his 70s who has never gotten fully over his private kicking him out when his family couldn't pay after his father died. You are kind to think of this OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagin
e that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

Go away.

OP- you are a kind soul. Contact the financial aid department and see what they say. [/quote

+1 As someone who has lost a loved one during this pandemic I know how much suffering there is and think you are kind to think of the other family. I wish more peoples had that kind of empathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You realize that there are many students in need at private schools, correct?

They're in need but required to pay tuition? True need has tution covered...again this isn't a HHI of 100K per year type of needy.

I'm a little stumped at how someone in need gets a free private school tuition. NP here. Not trying to be an ass, but it genuinely would not occur to me to stay at a school I could not afford.

I would feel differently if there were not great public schools in the area, but there are. That, and I have heard sob stories by people whose IL's were covering the tuition. So, maybe my perspective has made me cynical - I just think (like PP) that the money could be used for another family who does not have the enormous luxury of private school. It never occurred to me to feel entitled to private school, that's all.

I'm the PP who received something like this.

My healthy kids' world got turned upside down. Understanding that your sibling might die, and watching your sibling suffer and your parents cry, is really hard for kids in elementary school. Having mom gone at the hospital for weeks is really hard for kids in elementary school. Losing their friends and the school community they'd been in since the age of three would have made that harder, especially midyear.

At the same time, we were taking a huge financial loss. I left my job, and so we lost my income. DH cut his overtime so that we could have a parent home for dinner and bedtime on the nights one of us was at the hospital. So, our income fell by more than 50%. At the same time, since we had worked staggered hours before my son's illness, our childcare costs went way up as well. Of course there were medical expenses as well. These weren't temporary changes, as my child's illness will last the rest of our house.

Yes, our public schools are fine, but at the point this happened, my kids needed stability. We would have pulled from retirement or taken a second mortgage to get them through the year, but are incredibly grateful we didn't have to. This year, we've made a different choice educationally, although covid was part of that as well.

I'm not saying you would have made the same choices I did but trust me when I say that if you were in my shoes it would have occurred to you to try and figure out away for your kids to stay.

I hope things are going better for your family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thats very generous of you but I would imagine that large of a gift could benefit many families more needy than one at a private school...

You are an ass.

there is always one in every post.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know the answer but THANK YOU for giving me faith that there are still good people in the world. Something you don’t often see lately- especially on DCUM. Thank you!