14 year old girl won't let parents see phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our house rule: If I'm paying for the phone, I get to see the phone when I ask. If you can't show me the phone, you don't get to have the phone. I also get to know the unlock code for the phone. You don't get to lock it. You're underage and I'm responsible for you. I will not go through your phone unless I have serious reason to do so.

My kids are 15 and 17. They've had phones since they were 10. I've never really felt the need to go through their phone, but the rule is that I can if I see the need to do it. My kids know that. My kids comply with that. In exchange, I trust them unless I see signs that something serious is going on.

+1 This is not like when we grew up and kids had their privacy. We didn't have social media and the internet to do stuff that can be either or both illegal or harmful to our kids.

She deserves privacy, yes, but that doesn't mean she can do things that are illegal or harmful to her.

+1 I had a diary and my parents didn’t read it. If they did, they would have died. But, they demanded to know who my friends were and who I was hanging out with or I didn’t go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family rule: anybody can see any phone at anytime they want... if you need to hide who you really are you have a problem.

This is not an appropriate rule.

What are you hiding?

My phone dies and I want to order dinner and I can't use your phone.

My phone is charging and I want to play Spotify and ask you for your phone and you are afraid to have me look at it.

That is a sad way to live.

Luckily nobody in my house is afraid to have anybody look at their phone.

You must be the parent with the poor boundaries in the mom/son overshare thread.

Also, my 17 year old does not have to let his 13 year old sister use his phone. That’s a ridiculous rule.

[Anonymous]

Oh, it isn't her phone. It is your phone and you give it to her to use. Her wireless needs to be disconnected until she understands that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family rule: anybody can see any phone at anytime they want... if you need to hide who you really are you have a problem.

This is not an appropriate rule.

What are you hiding?

My phone dies and I want to order dinner and I can't use your phone.

My phone is charging and I want to play Spotify and ask you for your phone and you are afraid to have me look at it.

That is a sad way to live.

Luckily nobody in my house is afraid to have anybody look at their phone.

I don't consider adults and children equals. I know weird concept for DCUM. Some of my conversations children have no business being a part of. I need to know what my minor children are up to, who is contacting them , because I am ultimately responsible for them and their safety. The same can not be said for my children in regards to me.

What clandestine conversations are you having? You sound like a horrible gossip and you don't want people to know.

Stop whatever you are doing on your phone that is shameful, you will eventually be found out by your phone or not.

Are you mad? My husband and I have spicy exchanges on our phones. There’s nothing shameful, to be “found out”. We are a loving married couple keeping the erotic energy alive. But that’s none of our children’s business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
You're funny, OP. If my kids were to do this, I'd laugh so hard while taking their phone away.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take the phone away

I just declare the phone lost, and then it turns off. I wait until my kid comes to me to complain that it doesn't work, and then I explain what needs to change for it to to be turned back on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The rule is dh or I get to see the phone when we want. We will not discuss or bring up anything we see unless it is damaging. You can complain about us, DS, school, after school activities etc and we will pretend we never saw it. But if you're engaging in concerning behavior (self harm, talking to strangers, or being very mean to someone) we will say something.

Her phone is also a Google phone so we can simply log into her email and see her chats.

There have been times we've had to intervene (she and another friend were helping spread some gossip). So far, it seems to help that I was far from a perfect teen and can admit that to her. It has also benefitted her because she was once complaining about something I was doing and she actually had a good point and I stopped.

Keep it simple. Just log into email to see the chats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family rule: anybody can see any phone at anytime they want... if you need to hide who you really are you have a problem.

This is not an appropriate rule.

What are you hiding?

My phone dies and I want to order dinner and I can't use your phone.

My phone is charging and I want to play Spotify and ask you for your phone and you are afraid to have me look at it.

That is a sad way to live.

Luckily nobody in my house is afraid to have anybody look at their phone.

I don't consider adults and children equals. I know weird concept for DCUM. Some of my conversations children have no business being a part of. I need to know what my minor children are up to, who is contacting them , because I am ultimately responsible for them and their safety. The same can not be said for my children in regards to me.

What clandestine conversations are you having? You sound like a horrible gossip and you don't want people to know.

Stop whatever you are doing on your phone that is shameful, you will eventually be found out by your phone or not.

Give your mom your phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family rule: anybody can see any phone at anytime they want... if you need to hide who you really are you have a problem.

This is not an appropriate rule.

What are you hiding?

My phone dies and I want to order dinner and I can't use your phone.

My phone is charging and I want to play Spotify and ask you for your phone and you are afraid to have me look at it.

That is a sad way to live.

Luckily nobody in my house is afraid to have anybody look at their phone.

I don't consider adults and children equals. I know weird concept for DCUM. Some of my conversations children have no business being a part of. I need to know what my minor children are up to, who is contacting them , because I am ultimately responsible for them and their safety. The same can not be said for my children in regards to me.

What clandestine conversations are you having? You sound like a horrible gossip and you don't want people to know.

Stop whatever you are doing on your phone that is shameful, you will eventually be found out by your phone or not.

Are you mad? My husband and I have spicy exchanges on our phones. There’s nothing shameful, to be “found out”. We are a loving married couple keeping the erotic energy alive. But that’s none of our children’s business.

I'm guessing pp is a "super smart" child who just learned the word clandestine, and is having a charming conversation with the adults on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

A phone is not a diary. A diary cannot get a child into legal and personal trouble that can follow them for the rest of their lives.

[Anonymous]

A few option.

Disconnect the service and change the wifi password.

Take the phone. At 14 you don't get privacy and the fact you are not allowed to see it, says something is up.

Set up parental controls to monitor her search history, get texts sent to your phone, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A phone is not a diary. A diary cannot get a child into legal and personal trouble that can follow them for the rest of their lives.

If the wrong person gets ahold if a diary, yes it can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family rule: anybody can see any phone at anytime they want... if you need to hide who you really are you have a problem.

This is not an appropriate rule.

What are you hiding?

My phone dies and I want to order dinner and I can't use your phone.

My phone is charging and I want to play Spotify and ask you for your phone and you are afraid to have me look at it.

That is a sad way to live.

Luckily nobody in my house is afraid to have anybody look at their phone.

I don't consider adults and children equals. I know weird concept for DCUM. Some of my conversations children have no business being a part of. I need to know what my minor children are up to, who is contacting them , because I am ultimately responsible for them and their safety. The same can not be said for my children in regards to me.

What clandestine conversations are you having? You sound like a horrible gossip and you don't want people to know.

Stop whatever you are doing on your phone that is shameful, you will eventually be found out by your phone or not.

Are you mad? My husband and I have spicy exchanges on our phones. There’s nothing shameful, to be “found out”. We are a loving married couple keeping the erotic energy alive. But that’s none of our children’s business.

You are afraid your kids will read spicy texts. Wow! That's pathetic, did you also tell them the stor k brought them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family rule: anybody can see any phone at anytime they want... if you need to hide who you really are you have a problem.

This is not an appropriate rule.

What are you hiding?

My phone dies and I want to order dinner and I can't use your phone.

My phone is charging and I want to play Spotify and ask you for your phone and you are afraid to have me look at it.

That is a sad way to live.

Luckily nobody in my house is afraid to have anybody look at their phone.

I don't consider adults and children equals. I know weird concept for DCUM. Some of my conversations children have no business being a part of. I need to know what my minor children are up to, who is contacting them , because I am ultimately responsible for them and their safety. The same can not be said for my children in regards to me.

What clandestine conversations are you having? You sound like a horrible gossip and you don't want people to know.

Stop whatever you are doing on your phone that is shameful, you will eventually be found out by your phone or not.

Give your mom your phone.

probably

Stop watching the Kardashians and real house wives and grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Family rule: anybody can see any phone at anytime they want... if you need to hide who you really are you have a problem.

This is not an appropriate rule.

What are you hiding?

My phone dies and I want to order dinner and I can't use your phone.

My phone is charging and I want to play Spotify and ask you for your phone and you are afraid to have me look at it.

That is a sad way to live.

Luckily nobody in my house is afraid to have anybody look at their phone.

I don't consider adults and children equals. I know weird concept for DCUM. Some of my conversations children have no business being a part of. I need to know what my minor children are up to, who is contacting them , because I am ultimately responsible for them and their safety. The same can not be said for my children in regards to me.

But, but you just never know when there will be will some sort of emergency requiring little Larlo to check the weather on your phone!