Happily Married but also love someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not in love with the other person.

You are in love with the idea of them. It’s not real.

Yup. There is a reason why you married the real person. The fantasy other person was not marriage, life partner and co-parent material.

The fantasy person NEVER wanted or intended to spend their life with them. These people are looking back through rose colored glasses.

They will never be happy because they romanticize a past that was nothing like they now make it out to be in their minds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, Google “Alpha Widow”. It will never go away. That guy will always be the standard by which you judge all future men. Your husband doesn’t meet the bar, hence you’re still in love with that Alpha in your past.

OP here. Not true at all for me. I don’t measure my spouse up to the other person. I would hands down rather be married to my spouse. I love my spouse and we are more compatible life partners. I do however also have strong feelings of love for someone else. The idea that me and this other person would have some great marriage together is a fairytale and one I don’t indulge in. Even though I don’t dream of marrying the other person, it doesn’t change the fact that love them.

Sorry. You can’t have him. You may get him to f@ck you for variety, but he’s madly in love with his wife. You will be used.

Focus on your own man.

OP could be M or F.

True. Same applies to either sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Same situation, OP. I’ve got a fabulous husband in every way, and I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. But i do love the other guy. I wouldn’t want to marry him, but have a lot of affection for him.

It just happens. There are a lot of awesome people in this big world of ours.

+1 That's true.
I mean it sincerely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same situation, OP. I’ve got a fabulous husband in every way, and I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. But i do love the other guy. I wouldn’t want to marry him, but have a lot of affection for him.

It just happens. There are a lot of awesome people in this big world of ours.

+1 That's true.
I mean it sincerely.

So does the other guy love you or did he dump you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same situation, OP. I’ve got a fabulous husband in every way, and I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. But i do love the other guy. I wouldn’t want to marry him, but have a lot of affection for him.

It just happens. There are a lot of awesome people in this big world of ours.

+1 That's true.
I mean it sincerely.

YES. I very much agree.

[Anonymous]

Not me.

I only have ever truly loved my husband romantically. I married for love.

I do not reminisce let alone even think about high school or college boyfriends before I met him when I was 26.

I’m 50 and he’s the only one. I can’t imagine loving anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Too many losers on Facebook. Thinking they love someone else instead of living in the present. Miserable lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same situation, OP. I’ve got a fabulous husband in every way, and I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. But i do love the other guy. I wouldn’t want to marry him, but have a lot of affection for him.

It just happens. There are a lot of awesome people in this big world of ours.

+1 That's true.
I mean it sincerely.

So does the other guy love you or did he dump you?

Dumped them. They rewrite history in their minds over time.

[Anonymous]

The answer evades me in this situation. Maybe it just takes time and a realization that nothing will happen despite the feelings of love. Look, I mean even if somehow the person you also feel love for were available I can't see how it wouldn't unhinge the life you've built. A marriage is safe, stable, typically years of shared history together that proves there is lasting power. The part that stings is the very real feelings of love (even though it's not in the cards). It happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same situation, OP. I’ve got a fabulous husband in every way, and I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. But i do love the other guy. I wouldn’t want to marry him, but have a lot of affection for him.

It just happens. There are a lot of awesome people in this big world of ours.

+1 That's true.
I mean it sincerely.

Exactly. I feel like you have to be stunted somehow not to be in love with more than one other human your entire life.

[Anonymous]

Grow up, Op

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same situation, OP. I’ve got a fabulous husband in every way, and I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. But i do love the other guy. I wouldn’t want to marry him, but have a lot of affection for him.

It just happens. There are a lot of awesome people in this big world of ours.

+1 That's true.
I mean it sincerely.

Exactly. I feel like you have to be stunted somehow not to be in love with more than one other human your entire life.

Just unlucky

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same situation, OP. I’ve got a fabulous husband in every way, and I wouldn’t want to be married to anyone else. But i do love the other guy. I wouldn’t want to marry him, but have a lot of affection for him.

It just happens. There are a lot of awesome people in this big world of ours.

+1 That's true.
I mean it sincerely.

Exactly. I feel like you have to be stunted somehow not to be in love with more than one other human your entire life.

Just unlucky

Or a whore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Too many losers on Facebook. Thinking they love someone else instead of living in the present. Miserable lives.

Omg. YES!! Middle aged losers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are not in love with the other person.

You are in love with the idea of them. It’s not real.

Yup. There is a reason why you married the real person. The fantasy other person was not marriage, life partner and co-parent material.

The fantasy person NEVER wanted or intended to spend their life with them. These people are looking back through rose colored glasses.

They will never be happy because they romanticize a past that was nothing like they now make it out to be in their minds.

+1