Happily Married but also love someone else

[Anonymous]

I left for my AP nearly 20 years ago. Best decision of my life. My advice is if you don’t have a strong bond with your wife you attempt to reinforce it (I did to utter failure as she only cared about the kids). I am so happy now...my current wife is everything I dreamed of and more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is different.

But, I only have loved one man in the past 25 years and can’t see myself loving anyone else. He’s everything for me.

I am definitely not the polygamous type.

Was he the only man you've been with? I usually hear that from women who've also only been with one man. They have a special bond together. It was refreshing to read your post.

No! I met him after grad school at 26 and when I already had started my career. I was 26, but had boyfriends in high school, college and post-grad.

Our attraction was insane. He was the total package—extremely good looking, incredibly smart, very funny...we are so compatible.

I’m 50 now and we have a great sex life. We are best friends too and I can’t imagine anyone else.

We both are athletes and work out and aged very, very well. Kids are great.

[Anonymous]

^ i should add—we have been married 22 years and did have a few patches where we grew apart due to kids, stress, jobs, etc, but always come back stronger than ever and the reason is that deep love and intimacy. Passion comes back. The long deep commitment with somebody you just love talking to and understand—you must have that connection. We have grown much stronger during COVID and we plan for the next stage when we are in empty nest in 6 years. We still make each other laugh and we still find each other hot as h@ll.

[Anonymous]

I don't tell others how they feel or should feel, but I guarantee you that old love isn't the person you remember. Forget the idealizing them part, the fantasy. Just think how much your life experiences have changed you, how different you are in many ways. Married couples have to grow together and can experience bumps along the way, but you barely realize how much you're changing over time. You might not even like hanging out with that old love anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't tell others how they feel or should feel, but I guarantee you that old love isn't the person you remember. Forget the idealizing them part, the fantasy. Just think how much your life experiences have changed you, how different you are in many ways. Married couples have to grow together and can experience bumps along the way, but you barely realize how much you're changing over time. You might not even like hanging out with that old love anymore.

Agree. They are more in live with who they were at that age and even that is romanticized. They don’t forget their insecurities and troubles.

Looking back at “glory days” or through rose colored glasses is typical if people unhappy in present life.

Those people they knew way back when aren’t remotely the same.