How important is a woman's income to a guy when she's dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 30 and earn 85. I am on track to earn over 100k. My salary goes up 7k/year. I’m an RN in a private surgical clinic and working on my MSN.

I also just started getting Botox and fillers this year. I plan on getting a tummy tuck and boob job. I do get a heavy discount because of my work.

Single mom with one kid. Own my condo. No debt.

I don’t struggle to meet men to say the least but it’s not a priority right now.

The tummy tuck is okay, but boob job is trashy. Skip it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, mostly it's a woman appearance that men are attracted to because they think with their little heads instead if the big heads.

Guys say that, but no way would a DCUM man in the UMC marry some high school educated dingbat no matter how hot she was.

That’s an extreme though. What people are asking about is the college graduate Project manager/nurse/analyst/teacher/whatever making 50 or 60K with little advancement potential.

[Anonymous]

In my experience it varies by age of the guy and also how much he is making. Don't hold me to the numbers strictly, but to generalize, a guy making 70k doesn't really care if the woman makes 40k and may be intimidated by someone making significantly more than him. The guy making 700k doesn't really care if the woman doesn't make much because they make enough where her income doesn't matter. The guys who make +/- 125k-300k care the most. This is prime dual income territory where your lifestyle is going to look a lot different if both people are working and making in that range vs. one medium income earner and one low. I've observed that the younger the guy, the more likely they are to care. Partially for the pure money alone, but they seem to be put off by women who don't attempt to build a career in their 20s who want to be supported. They seem to like the "power couple" ideal more than being valued primarily as breadwinners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not so sure of that. Lots of divorced men do care. Divorce is not only costly but I think they’re emerging as not wanting to foot the bill for another person. Of course there are exceptions to this.

Women do not want to date divorced fathers. They are broke. Hard pass!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, mostly it's a woman appearance that men are attracted to because they think with their little heads instead if the big heads.

Guys say that, but no way would a DCUM man in the UMC marry some high school educated dingbat no matter how hot she was.

I’ve seen it happen more than once!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're talking about dating and not getting married, right?

Having a 6 figures income is not important at all, as long as she has a personality and/or look to go with it (income).

What's the point of dating if it doesn't lead to marriage?

Because it is fun and nice to have a relationship. Not all long-term relationships have to lead to marriage. I am never getting married again but am in a monogamous relationship.

Me too. And I’m a woman earning 400k with family money dating a guy with very little- but dear lord he’s handsome and kind and super super sexy and kind and fun. Won’t marry again, don’t need someone to take care of me - free to date who I please.

Again, we are not talking about your little girl toys or boy toys in this thread. It's about men who are seriously pursuing a woman for a monogamous relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, mostly it's a woman appearance that men are attracted to because they think with their little heads instead if the big heads.

Guys say that, but no way would a DCUM man in the UMC marry some high school educated dingbat no matter how hot she was.

That’s an extreme though. What people are asking about is the college graduate Project manager/nurse/analyst/teacher/whatever making 50 or 60K with little advancement potential.

I thought PM's/ some types of analysts/ and nursing had a very steady advancement route leading to riches sometimes?

[Anonymous]

Brains and beauty are far more important than money. I’m dating an ES teacher so I know her income is low but she is incredibly smart, beautiful and committed to her work. I know it bothers her that I pay for almost everything we do but I’m happy to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, mostly it's a woman appearance that men are attracted to because they think with their little heads instead if the big heads.

Guys say that, but no way would a DCUM man in the UMC marry some high school educated dingbat no matter how hot she was.

That’s an extreme though. What people are asking about is the college graduate Project manager/nurse/analyst/teacher/whatever making 50 or 60K with little advancement potential.

I thought PM's/ some types of analysts/ and nursing had a very steady advancement route leading to riches sometimes?

Okay, true. Some do. For the sake of argument let’s consider the large population of women who don’t have an easy path to advancement AND have a low salary despite having a degree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, mostly it's a woman appearance that men are attracted to because they think with their little heads instead if the big heads.

Guys say that, but no way would a DCUM man in the UMC marry some high school educated dingbat no matter how hot she was.

That’s an extreme though. What people are asking about is the college graduate Project manager/nurse/analyst/teacher/whatever making 50 or 60K with little advancement potential.

I’m a man and I’d have no problem marrying one of them. Educated, respectable occupation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not so sure of that. Lots of divorced men do care. Divorce is not only costly but I think they’re emerging as not wanting to foot the bill for another person. Of course there are exceptions to this.

Women do not want to date divorced fathers. They are broke. Hard pass!

Not me. No alimony, no child support, just paying normal kid expenses like I did before I got divorced. Didn’t change my financial situation at all. Maybe I should mention that in my dating profile. 🤔

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 30 and earn 85. I am on track to earn over 100k. My salary goes up 7k/year. I’m an RN in a private surgical clinic and working on my MSN.

I also just started getting Botox and fillers this year. I plan on getting a tummy tuck and boob job. I do get a heavy discount because of my work.

Single mom with one kid. Own my condo. No debt.

I don’t struggle to meet men to say the least but it’s not a priority right now.

Botox and fillers at 30?? 85K is a pretty modest income at 30, are you also getting child support? I am an immigrant who moved to the US at 26 with very basic English (but with a good foreign technical degree). My first salary in the US was 85K at 27 y.o. and that was 20 years ago.

Yeah, but you're an asshole, so it's not like your salary matters.

Np here. I was just thinking why a 30yo needs a tummy tuck and Botox. If she had her kid in her 20s, her body should have bounced right back.

I had my first kid at 30. Everyone said I looked the same when I went back to work, like I did not have a baby. I only gained 20 pounds throughout my pregnancy. I was so nauseous that I lost 10 pounds in my first trimester.

I had my third kid at 38. I gained over 40 pounds.

I’m now 42 and could use Botox and a tummy tuck after 3 kids and a decade of bad sleep.

[Anonymous]

Men may not care what their SO earns, but women sure as heck should. The culture of women expecting men to be their gravy train is toxic. If you are in a relationship and things go south, you need to be able to support yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience it varies by age of the guy and also how much he is making. Don't hold me to the numbers strictly, but to generalize, a guy making 70k doesn't really care if the woman makes 40k and may be intimidated by someone making significantly more than him. The guy making 700k doesn't really care if the woman doesn't make much because they make enough where her income doesn't matter. The guys who make +/- 125k-300k care the most. This is prime dual income territory where your lifestyle is going to look a lot different if both people are working and making in that range vs. one medium income earner and one low. I've observed that the younger the guy, the more likely they are to care. Partially for the pure money alone, but they seem to be put off by women who don't attempt to build a career in their 20s who want to be supported. They seem to like the "power couple" ideal more than being valued primarily as breadwinners.

I think this is right. Most of the guys I dated before I was married fell into that income bracket (a handful making more than that) and the fact that I had high earning potential appeared to be a big plus for all of them. My DH makes slightly more than that range now, and I make about 200K. Even though we could theoretically live off of his income alone, he's always been very clear that he wants me to continue working and thinks it's risky to be relying on just one income. While I have no desire to be a SAHM (both because of how much time and money I've invested in my own career and also because I am clearly not well suited for it), it's been interesting to see his perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience it varies by age of the guy and also how much he is making. Don't hold me to the numbers strictly, but to generalize, a guy making 70k doesn't really care if the woman makes 40k and may be intimidated by someone making significantly more than him. The guy making 700k doesn't really care if the woman doesn't make much because they make enough where her income doesn't matter. The guys who make +/- 125k-300k care the most. This is prime dual income territory where your lifestyle is going to look a lot different if both people are working and making in that range vs. one medium income earner and one low. I've observed that the younger the guy, the more likely they are to care. Partially for the pure money alone, but they seem to be put off by women who don't attempt to build a career in their 20s who want to be supported. They seem to like the "power couple" ideal more than being valued primarily as breadwinners.

+1 I have noticed this as well, going back as far as 10 years ago when I was dating.

Even if they are not that calculating about it, men in the 125k-300k range want to first date and have fun before marriage, and if the woman they are dating is broke and struggling that may very well annoy him and turn him off - she can’t keep up with his striver lifestyle and he just met her so he doesn’t want to pay for everything like their first trip away together.

As a woman I didn’t fine men like this attractive at all, but they were the majority so I had to deal with it. I ultimately did find a more traditional minded man who makes in that range and he doesn’t care what I make but if I want a certain lifestyle I have to contribute a good bit, which I do. But I like knowing that he personally doesn’t care how much I earn as long as I adjust to the resulting income and sees himself as the “man” in the relationship. Too egalitarian is a sexual and emotional turn off, at least for me.