Father who abandons kids

[Anonymous]

Man this thread brought out all the defensive alcoholic fathers who don’t see their kids. Ignore these fools OP. My father is an alcoholic and I am forever grateful for my stable mother. When I was a teen and they divorced I didn’t want to see my dad not because my mom manipulated me into it but because he was a drunk!! What teen or kid wants to spend time with a drunk father??? This is not something that needs to be pushed and I am so grateful my mom didn’t push it.

Yes, coming from a somewhat different situation... as a kid of a great, non-divorced father who struggled with alcoholism throughout his life, no kid wants to be around a drunk. Or a drunk parent. It sucks. This is just People 101. Apart from the ridiculous attempts to be apologists for Dad, the PPs don't seem to even understand basic human nature...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man this thread brought out all the defensive alcoholic fathers who don’t see their kids. Ignore these fools OP. My father is an alcoholic and I am forever grateful for my stable mother. When I was a teen and they divorced I didn’t want to see my dad not because my mom manipulated me into it but because he was a drunk!! What teen or kid wants to spend time with a drunk father??? This is not something that needs to be pushed and I am so grateful my mom didn’t push it.

Yes exactly, I don’t want to push anything. He knows what he needs to do, and the kids know. If they ask to see him and it works out then I am willing to facilitate them seeing each other under strict conditions like no over nights, I wait in the car or close by Incase they need me. They have phones so they can text or call if there’s an emergency. But no way am I encouraging them to spend time w him if they don’t want to. Right now they do, I think partially bc he guilts them into it every now and then, I think soon they won’t care unless he makes some drastic changes.

[Anonymous]

OP doesn't really want her kids to see their Dad so this is a non-issue. Read the post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn't really want her kids to see their Dad so this is a non-issue. Read the post.

Sorry your kids don't want to see you and you still think blaming mommy makes it easier for you to handle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alcoholism is a disease. This should be explained to your children.

Your children have made it clear they want to continue to have a relationship with their father, no matter what his issues are. It sounds like they are glad for any time they can get with him even if it's for short periods of time.

I am quite certain your kids can feel your disrespect and death-wish about their father. That is probably impacting how they view their visits. You are putting them in a bad position where their binds to their father are being sawed at by your negative feelings towards him.


You also call him a narcissist. Was this a professional diagnosis from a health care provider or is it your opinion?

If you want to alienate your kids from their father I'd say you are being successful.

The most important thing a divorced parent can do is foster the best relationship possible with the other parent.

You have a lot of nerve. I'm pissed on the OP's behalf just reading this crap. You think she needs a professional diagnosis from a health care provider to call him a narcissist, yet you think you can spew this crap??? Unreal. You suck, PP. OP is clearly trying to do the best thing for her kids. You really, really suck....

I’m pissed on OPs behalf as well, I could have written her post. You’re disgusting and probably am alienated dad- maybe your kids hate you too because you’re a loser like OPs ex and you blame their mom.
Couldn’t possibly be The drunken father who is to blame for his his kids see him or how the court had to police his ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP doesn't really want her kids to see their Dad so this is a non-issue. Read the post.

Sorry your kids don't want to see you and you still think blaming mommy makes it easier for you to handle.

I live with my kids. Good try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alcoholism is a disease. This should be explained to your children.

Your children have made it clear they want to continue to have a relationship with their father, no matter what his issues are. It sounds like they are glad for any time they can get with him even if it's for short periods of time.

I am quite certain your kids can feel your disrespect and death-wish about their father. That is probably impacting how they view their visits. You are putting them in a bad position where their binds to their father are being sawed at by your negative feelings towards him.


You also call him a narcissist. Was this a professional diagnosis from a health care provider or is it your opinion?

If you want to alienate your kids from their father I'd say you are being successful.

The most important thing a divorced parent can do is foster the best relationship possible with the other parent.

You have a lot of nerve. I'm pissed on the OP's behalf just reading this crap. You think she needs a professional diagnosis from a health care provider to call him a narcissist, yet you think you can spew this crap??? Unreal. You suck, PP. OP is clearly trying to do the best thing for her kids. You really, really suck....

I’m pissed on OPs behalf as well, I could have written her post. You’re disgusting and probably am alienated dad- maybe your kids hate you too because you’re a loser like OPs ex and you blame their mom.
Couldn’t possibly be The drunken father who is to blame for his his kids see him or how the court had to police his ass.

Mom's can do what ever they want and withhold visits with all kinds of excuses including made up and the judges believe their sob stories. A loser Dad is still better than no Dad. Read her post. She doesn't want him involved. Yes, she needs a professional person to diagnosis but the real question is what would she be diagnosed with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alcoholism is a disease. This should be explained to your children.

Your children have made it clear they want to continue to have a relationship with their father, no matter what his issues are. It sounds like they are glad for any time they can get with him even if it's for short periods of time.

I am quite certain your kids can feel your disrespect and death-wish about their father. That is probably impacting how they view their visits. You are putting them in a bad position where their binds to their father are being sawed at by your negative feelings towards him.


You also call him a narcissist. Was this a professional diagnosis from a health care provider or is it your opinion?

If you want to alienate your kids from their father I'd say you are being successful.

The most important thing a divorced parent can do is foster the best relationship possible with the other parent.

You have a lot of nerve. I'm pissed on the OP's behalf just reading this crap. You think she needs a professional diagnosis from a health care provider to call him a narcissist, yet you think you can spew this crap??? Unreal. You suck, PP. OP is clearly trying to do the best thing for her kids. You really, really suck....

I’m pissed on OPs behalf as well, I could have written her post. You’re disgusting and probably am alienated dad- maybe your kids hate you too because you’re a loser like OPs ex and you blame their mom.
Couldn’t possibly be The drunken father who is to blame for his his kids see him or how the court had to police his ass.

Mom's can do what ever they want and withhold visits with all kinds of excuses including made up and the judges believe their sob stories. A loser Dad is still better than no Dad. Read her post. She doesn't want him involved. Yes, she needs a professional person to diagnosis but the real question is what would she be diagnosed with.

Disagree. No dad is MUCH better than loser dad. Every time my dad pulled his bullshit, it made me feel like I’d done something wrong and deserved it. Alcoholics and drug addicts have serious mental issues and unless they’re willing to sort them out, it’s better that they’re kept away from kids. My mom finally told my dad to get the hell out of our lives and got me into therapy. It was a godsend and took years to undue the damage. OP, explain to your children that they don’t deserve this type of treatment and that if someone treats them like that, to walk away from that person. Family isn’t everything, especially when family is abusive. They deserve better than their loser father.

[Anonymous]

Loser dad: drunk most of the time, doesn’t attend kids activities or support their interests, generally ignores them, only talks about himself, puts them down, abuses their mom in front of them.

Anyone thinks that’s better than no dad needs to have their head examined.

[Anonymous]

OP, be grateful he doesn't want to see them. My FIL was a drunk, but MIL dropped the 3 boys off there anyway. Turns out FIL was a child molester when he was drunk. He died a few years before I met my husband, so I never had to meet the disgusting SOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alcoholism is a disease. This should be explained to your children.

Your children have made it clear they want to continue to have a relationship with their father, no matter what his issues are. It sounds like they are glad for any time they can get with him even if it's for short periods of time.

I am quite certain your kids can feel your disrespect and death-wish about their father. That is probably impacting how they view their visits. You are putting them in a bad position where their binds to their father are being sawed at by your negative feelings towards him.


You also call him a narcissist. Was this a professional diagnosis from a health care provider or is it your opinion?

If you want to alienate your kids from their father I'd say you are being successful.

The most important thing a divorced parent can do is foster the best relationship possible with the other parent.

You have a lot of nerve. I'm pissed on the OP's behalf just reading this crap. You think she needs a professional diagnosis from a health care provider to call him a narcissist, yet you think you can spew this crap??? Unreal. You suck, PP. OP is clearly trying to do the best thing for her kids. You really, really suck....

I’m pissed on OPs behalf as well, I could have written her post. You’re disgusting and probably am alienated dad- maybe your kids hate you too because you’re a loser like OPs ex and you blame their mom.
Couldn’t possibly be The drunken father who is to blame for his his kids see him or how the court had to police his ass.

Mom's can do what ever they want and withhold visits with all kinds of excuses including made up and the judges believe their sob stories. A loser Dad is still better than no Dad. Read her post. She doesn't want him involved. Yes, she needs a professional person to diagnosis but the real question is what would she be diagnosed with.

How about "he's drunk."