Is one parent remarrying sufficient to trigger "change in circumstance" so as to change custody ?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Yes, you would be surprised how many women want custody for child support and in most cases, even 1/2 of it is not used on the kid. This is a known fact based on various different levels of research. Can't deny it.

The average child support payment in this country is $430. So, you are saying that most women receiving child support are spending less than $215 a month on food, housing, clothing, childcare and all of the other expenses you have with a kid?

The average for the country is incorrect way of looking at it. If someone is paying $430 then they would only be making $30-40K and imagine paying CS on that. In DC area, it's pretty common to see $2K+ as CS which is not even deductible in anyway. You also forgot the spousal support some spouses get and according to facts, it's mostly from men to women.

I remember, my poor handyman in a small town in SW VA was $1300 for his 2 kids. He had difficulty making ends meet but his wife with minimum paying job got her 3rd new car in 5th year. I wonder how much of that is going towards the kids.

Why should it be deductible? I can’t deduct the expense of raising kids either.

The person receiving the money should pay taxes on it.

Why? The taxes have already been paid, presumably at a higher rate, by the payor.

Spousal tax deduction is no longer allowed and CS was never included in the taxes anyway. There has to be some accountability on where all the money meant for kids is going though.

Cheat, lie and be a general jerk, leave your spouse and kid to move to and live a thousand miles away with AP and her kids (plural). Then of course I’m going to extract as much of the only thing I can legally extract from you. In this area CS in an amount well in excess of $2,000 even for one kid isn’t uncommon. Life is hard, juggling full time work and raising a child as a single parent, with little support from the other parent is extra hard. Being able to work 35-40 hours a week or even part time, and throw money at problems and being able to save money every month, makes for a much easier and less stressful life for parent and as a result for kid as well.

I know way to many women who tried to be nice, reduced awarded support obligations, only to have ex leave (men never leave until they have a relationship in the wings) and immediately set up new life with new gf/wife and her kids or have more kids with new wife. Forget that, that benefits my or your kid how?

If you choose to break the contract then I choose to care only about the security and stability of me and my own. And since we no longer have a contract you get no say in how I spend court ordered support. The court didn’t have a problem with how I was or planned to spend the money so why should you?

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes!

Oh, so it is about holding grudges and staying bitter? That's what the CS is all about then. Nice!

Hah hah sparky trust me it’s hard to be bitter when you lose the dead weight and can afford to live Well and have a peaceful home. Shhh maybe this is a secret but losing the dead weight and maintaining a very decent standard of living doesn’t make for bitterness nor grudges. In fact I’m as nice as pie. That really drives me nuts! I’m not the one on a budget.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you would be surprised how many women want custody for child support and in most cases, even 1/2 of it is not used on the kid. This is a known fact based on various different levels of research. Can't deny it.

The average child support payment in this country is $430. So, you are saying that most women receiving child support are spending less than $215 a month on food, housing, clothing, childcare and all of the other expenses you have with a kid?

The average for the country is incorrect way of looking at it. If someone is paying $430 then they would only be making $30-40K and imagine paying CS on that. In DC area, it's pretty common to see $2K+ as CS which is not even deductible in anyway. You also forgot the spousal support some spouses get and according to facts, it's mostly from men to women.

I remember, my poor handyman in a small town in SW VA was $1300 for his 2 kids. He had difficulty making ends meet but his wife with minimum paying job got her 3rd new car in 5th year. I wonder how much of that is going towards the kids.

Why should it be deductible? I can’t deduct the expense of raising kids either.

The person receiving the money should pay taxes on it.

Why? The taxes have already been paid, presumably at a higher rate, by the payor.

Spousal tax deduction is no longer allowed and CS was never included in the taxes anyway. There has to be some accountability on where all the money meant for kids is going though.

Cheat, lie and be a general jerk, leave your spouse and kid to move to and live a thousand miles away with AP and her kids (plural). Then of course I’m going to extract as much of the only thing I can legally extract from you. In this area CS in an amount well in excess of $2,000 even for one kid isn’t uncommon. Life is hard, juggling full time work and raising a child as a single parent, with little support from the other parent is extra hard. Being able to work 35-40 hours a week or even part time, and throw money at problems and being able to save money every month, makes for a much easier and less stressful life for parent and as a result for kid as well.

I know way to many women who tried to be nice, reduced awarded support obligations, only to have ex leave (men never leave until they have a relationship in the wings) and immediately set up new life with new gf/wife and her kids or have more kids with new wife. Forget that, that benefits my or your kid how?

If you choose to break the contract then I choose to care only about the security and stability of me and my own. And since we no longer have a contract you get no say in how I spend court ordered support. The court didn’t have a problem with how I was or planned to spend the money so why should you?

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes!

What about the women who cheat and leave with the AP, take the kids, demand alimony and child support and refuse visitation and phone contact? They set up a new home with AP. That ok to treat dads that way?

I’d say someone is lying to you. Sorry if a Dad wants to be involved and has otherwise been committed to his family, and he wants shared custody he’s going to get it. If he didn’t show up to court and fight then whose fault is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and judges tend to not want to upset the status quo, so if one parent has had sole or primary custody for a significant length of time, you’d be hard pressed to find a judge willing to change that because of a change in marital status.

That's not true. I have seen plenty of custodies getting switched after 3 years. Happens all the time. Having kids is a privilege and an honor and the primary parent needs to take the responsibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you would be surprised how many women want custody for child support and in most cases, even 1/2 of it is not used on the kid. This is a known fact based on various different levels of research. Can't deny it.

The average child support payment in this country is $430. So, you are saying that most women receiving child support are spending less than $215 a month on food, housing, clothing, childcare and all of the other expenses you have with a kid?

The average for the country is incorrect way of looking at it. If someone is paying $430 then they would only be making $30-40K and imagine paying CS on that. In DC area, it's pretty common to see $2K+ as CS which is not even deductible in anyway. You also forgot the spousal support some spouses get and according to facts, it's mostly from men to women.

I remember, my poor handyman in a small town in SW VA was $1300 for his 2 kids. He had difficulty making ends meet but his wife with minimum paying job got her 3rd new car in 5th year. I wonder how much of that is going towards the kids.

Why should it be deductible? I can’t deduct the expense of raising kids either.

The person receiving the money should pay taxes on it.

Why? The taxes have already been paid, presumably at a higher rate, by the payor.[/qu

Spousal tax deduction is no longer allowed and CS was never included in the taxes anyway. There has to be some accountability on where all the money meant for kids is going though.

Cheat, lie and be a general jerk, leave your spouse and kid to move to and live a thousand miles away with AP and her kids (plural). Then of course I’m going to extract as much of the only thing I can legally extract from you. In this area CS in an amount well in excess of $2,000 even for one kid isn’t uncommon. Life is hard, juggling full time work and raising a child as a single parent, with little support from the other parent is extra hard. Being able to work 35-40 hours a week or even part time, and throw money at problems and being able to save money every month, makes for a much easier and less stressful life for parent and as a result for kid as well.

I know way to many women who tried to be nice, reduced awarded support obligations, only to have ex leave (men never leave until they have a relationship in the wings) and immediately set up new life with new gf/wife and her kids or have more kids with new wife. Forget that, that benefits my or your kid how?

If you choose to break the contract then I choose to care only about the security and stability of me and my own. And since we no longer have a contract you get no say in how I spend court ordered support. The court didn’t have a problem with how I was or planned to spend the money so why should you?

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes!

Oh, so it is about holding grudges and staying bitter? That's what the CS is all about then. Nice!

Hah hah sparky trust me it’s hard to be bitter when you lose the dead weight and can afford to live Well and have a peaceful home. Shhh maybe this is a secret but losing the dead weight and maintaining a very decent standard of living doesn’t make for bitterness nor grudges. In fact I’m as nice as pie. That really drives me nuts! I’m not the one on a budget.

Probably your financial security is good but not for others. Some mothers use their kids' CS as extra money they can't or won't make. You got rid of the dead weight but still have grudges after all you wasted all those precious years with him.

[Anonymous]

Probably your financial security is good but not for others. Some mothers use their kids' CS as extra money they can't or won't make. You got rid of the dead weight but still have grudges after all you wasted all those precious years with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you would be surprised how many women want custody for child support and in most cases, even 1/2 of it is not used on the kid. This is a known fact based on various different levels of research. Can't deny it.

The average child support payment in this country is $430. So, you are saying that most women receiving child support are spending less than $215 a month on food, housing, clothing, childcare and all of the other expenses you have with a kid?

The average for the country is incorrect way of looking at it. If someone is paying $430 then they would only be making $30-40K and imagine paying CS on that. In DC area, it's pretty common to see $2K+ as CS which is not even deductible in anyway. You also forgot the spousal support some spouses get and according to facts, it's mostly from men to women.

I remember, my poor handyman in a small town in SW VA was $1300 for his 2 kids. He had difficulty making ends meet but his wife with minimum paying job got her 3rd new car in 5th year. I wonder how much of that is going towards the kids.

Why should it be deductible? I can’t deduct the expense of raising kids either.

The person receiving the money should pay taxes on it.

Why? The taxes have already been paid, presumably at a higher rate, by the payor.

Spousal tax deduction is no longer allowed and CS was never included in the taxes anyway. There has to be some accountability on where all the money meant for kids is going though.

Cheat, lie and be a general jerk, leave your spouse and kid to move to and live a thousand miles away with AP and her kids (plural). Then of course I’m going to extract as much of the only thing I can legally extract from you. In this area CS in an amount well in excess of $2,000 even for one kid isn’t uncommon. Life is hard, juggling full time work and raising a child as a single parent, with little support from the other parent is extra hard. Being able to work 35-40 hours a week or even part time, and throw money at problems and being able to save money every month, makes for a much easier and less stressful life for parent and as a result for kid as well.

I know way to many women who tried to be nice, reduced awarded support obligations, only to have ex leave (men never leave until they have a relationship in the wings) and immediately set up new life with new gf/wife and her kids or have more kids with new wife. Forget that, that benefits my or your kid how?

If you choose to break the contract then I choose to care only about the security and stability of me and my own. And since we no longer have a contract you get no say in how I spend court ordered support. The court didn’t have a problem with how I was or planned to spend the money so why should you?

Play stupid games. Win stupid prizes!

What about the women who cheat and leave with the AP, take the kids, demand alimony and child support and refuse visitation and phone contact? They set up a new home with AP. That ok to treat dads that way?

I’d say someone is lying to you. Sorry if a Dad wants to be involved and has otherwise been committed to his family, and he wants shared custody he’s going to get it. If he didn’t show up to court and fight then whose fault is that?

No one is lying. And, of course Dad shows up for court and judges just tell mom to follow the order and mom doesn't and most judges aren't going to hold mom accountable. It depends on the state and judge on getting custody. Now its easier but 10-15 years ago it wasn't. There are consequences for not paying child support but there are no consequences for moms refusing contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It absolutely can. And it happened to my ex wife when she married me. We were able to increase custody due to her being home more as a result of being able to work part time after our marriage and getting pregnant. The person saying not even close doesn’t know anything.

How many times have you been married. That must’ve been great for the kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you would be surprised how many women want custody for child support and in most cases, even 1/2 of it is not used on the kid. This is a known fact based on various different levels of research. Can't deny it.

The average child support payment in this country is $430. So, you are saying that most women receiving child support are spending less than $215 a month on food, housing, clothing, childcare and all of the other expenses you have with a kid?

The average for the country is incorrect way of looking at it. If someone is paying $430 then they would only be making $30-40K and imagine paying CS on that. In DC area, it's pretty common to see $2K+ as CS which is not even deductible in anyway. You also forgot the spousal support some spouses get and according to facts, it's mostly from men to women.

I remember, my poor handyman in a small town in SW VA was $1300 for his 2 kids. He had difficulty making ends meet but his wife with minimum paying job got her 3rd new car in 5th year. I wonder how much of that is going towards the kids.

Why should it be deductible? I can’t deduct the expense of raising kids either.

The person receiving the money should pay taxes on it.

Yes all these minor children need to file immediately

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you would be surprised how many women want custody for child support and in most cases, even 1/2 of it is not used on the kid. This is a known fact based on various different levels of research. Can't deny it.

The average child support payment in this country is $430. So, you are saying that most women receiving child support are spending less than $215 a month on food, housing, clothing, childcare and all of the other expenses you have with a kid?

The average for the country is incorrect way of looking at it. If someone is paying $430 then they would only be making $30-40K and imagine paying CS on that. In DC area, it's pretty common to see $2K+ as CS which is not even deductible in anyway. You also forgot the spousal support some spouses get and according to facts, it's mostly from men to women.

I remember, my poor handyman in a small town in SW VA was $1300 for his 2 kids. He had difficulty making ends meet but his wife with minimum paying job got her 3rd new car in 5th year. I wonder how much of that is going towards the kids.

Why should it be deductible? I can’t deduct the expense of raising kids either.

The person receiving the money should pay taxes on it.

Why? The taxes have already been paid, presumably at a higher rate, by the payor.

Spousal tax deduction is no longer allowed and CS was never included in the taxes anyway. There has to be some accountability on where all the money meant for kids is going though.

Yes I know. But that has nothing to do with the claim that the person receiving the money should pay tax on it. I asked why since the taxes have already been paid.

Tax has nothing to do with accountability and recipients are not required to account for how the money is spent. It doesn’t work that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you would be surprised how many women want custody for child support and in most cases, even 1/2 of it is not used on the kid. This is a known fact based on various different levels of research. Can't deny it.

The average child support payment in this country is $430. So, you are saying that most women receiving child support are spending less than $215 a month on food, housing, clothing, childcare and all of the other expenses you have with a kid?

The average for the country is incorrect way of looking at it. If someone is paying $430 then they would only be making $30-40K and imagine paying CS on that. In DC area, it's pretty common to see $2K+ as CS which is not even deductible in anyway. You also forgot the spousal support some spouses get and according to facts, it's mostly from men to women.

I remember, my poor handyman in a small town in SW VA was $1300 for his 2 kids. He had difficulty making ends meet but his wife with minimum paying job got her 3rd new car in 5th year. I wonder how much of that is going towards the kids.

Why should it be deductible? I can’t deduct the expense of raising kids either.

The person receiving the money should pay taxes on it.

Why? The taxes have already been paid, presumably at a higher rate, by the payor.

Spousal tax deduction is no longer allowed and CS was never included in the taxes anyway. There has to be some accountability on where all the money meant for kids is going though.

Yes I know. But that has nothing to do with the claim that the person receiving the money should pay tax on it. I asked why since the taxes have already been paid.

Tax has nothing to do with accountability and recipients are not required to account for how the money is spent[b]. It doesn’t work that way.

I will never understand this.

What, exactly, is the reason that recipients don't have to account for the $$? Seems like a system ripe for abuse, to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you would be surprised how many women want custody for child support and in most cases, even 1/2 of it is not used on the kid. This is a known fact based on various different levels of research. Can't deny it.

The average child support payment in this country is $430. So, you are saying that most women receiving child support are spending less than $215 a month on food, housing, clothing, childcare and all of the other expenses you have with a kid?

The average for the country is incorrect way of looking at it. If someone is paying $430 then they would only be making $30-40K and imagine paying CS on that. In DC area, it's pretty common to see $2K+ as CS which is not even deductible in anyway. You also forgot the spousal support some spouses get and according to facts, it's mostly from men to women.

I remember, my poor handyman in a small town in SW VA was $1300 for his 2 kids. He had difficulty making ends meet but his wife with minimum paying job got her 3rd new car in 5th year. I wonder how much of that is going towards the kids.

Why should it be deductible? I can’t deduct the expense of raising kids either.

The person receiving the money should pay taxes on it.

Why? The taxes have already been paid, presumably at a higher rate, by the payor.

Spousal tax deduction is no longer allowed and CS was never included in the taxes anyway. There has to be some accountability on where all the money meant for kids is going though.

Yes I know. But that has nothing to do with the claim that the person receiving the money should pay tax on it. I asked why since the taxes have already been paid.

Tax has nothing to do with accountability and recipients are not required to account for how the money is spent[b]. It doesn’t work that way.

I will never understand this.

What, exactly, is the reason that recipients don't have to account for the $$? Seems like a system ripe for abuse, to me.

Many marriages involve some element of abuse. For parties to divorce there was probably more than an element. Divorce should break that cycle. But it doesn’t always. Maybe having to account for how every penny is spent would be okay for your marriage but not mine. You know trust and cooperation or why get married. Only someone with control issues would expect full accountability of how child support is spent post separation. Does your kid have a roof over their heads, shoes, clothes, food, healthcare, childcare. That is all it is intended to cover. So in most cases it is awarded accordingly. If you think your kid doesn’t have any of those things or enough of the same. Then pay for them yourself or pay more support. The custodial parent is allowed to have nice things too and like or not your are subsidizing the roof over their head, food, electricity, water etc. child support doesn’t just make the child’s life easier it also lifts some of the burden off of the custodial parent as well and that is in the best interests of the child. “Children as money makers” said no one ever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh and judges tend to not want to upset the status quo, so if one parent has had sole or primary custody for a significant length of time, you’d be hard pressed to find a judge willing to change that because of a change in marital status.

That's not true. I have seen plenty of custodies getting switched after 3 years. Happens all the time. Having kids is a privilege and an honor and the primary parent needs to take the responsibility.

Yes but if one person gets sole custody it is usually for a good reason, you ever heard of child molester visitation, that's what they call the basics that even the worst of the worst get. Every other weekend and Wednesday. Same thing with primary. A material change in circumstances requires just that. Getting married isn't enough material change. Getting married while parenting requires either being not very selective, any old warm body will do, or committing a lot of time to dating and spending time with someone. Time that you probably aren't spending with the kids.

Material change in circumstances would probably look more like, stepping up and spending way more time and going way out of your way to be a co-parent and push your way into being a bigger part of the children's lives, volunteering to shuttle to docs appts., soccer practices, school conferences, sick days, etc. you know really stepping it up.

Kind of hard to do or want to do when you are involved in a new relationship and just want to keep the other person happy.

And after you are married, well you have seen some of the step parents on here complain about how they don't like/love the bratty step children and don't want them around, so when faced with yet another divorce under your belt or keeping the peace, then if you weren't committed to 50/50 from the start, when it would have made the biggest difference in the kids life, by being next best thing to seeing both parents every day, what makes you think the average person would all of a sudden go I know what will fix this -- 50/50.

Again after 3 years of having child molester visitation, and just as the kid is getting used to their new normal, how exactly do you think that would be viewed as being in anyone's best interest.

I have a lot of friends who tried to test this one and spent years of their lives and 10's of thousands of dollars and a lot of stress only to have status quo remain. The longer it stands be it 3 years or 6, the more permanent it becomes and the older your kids get. At some point they are teenagers and don't want to leave their home/friends etc to come to your house for every other weekend and Wednesdays. Hanging out with you and the new mom and the new kids isn't so exciting to a teenager. Time doesn't stand still. Make the most of what you have and don't take it for granted.

[Anonymous]

That doesn't happen any longer with dads unless they are not involved at all. If a dad is seriously interested in spending and increasing his time with the kids then a court won't stop that unless he is trouble or not doing his parental duties. Sometimes I see mothers' that are pretty bad and dad ended up winning the sole custody of the kids.