Reply to Is one parent remarrying sufficient to trigger "change in circumstance" so as to change custody ?

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Reply to "Is one parent remarrying sufficient to trigger "change in circumstance" so as to change custody ?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Oh and judges tend to not want to upset the status quo, so if one parent has had sole or primary custody for a significant length of time, you’d be hard pressed to find a judge willing to change that because of a change in marital status. [/quote]

That's not true. I have seen plenty of custodies getting switched after 3 years. Happens all the time. Having kids is a privilege and an honor and the primary parent needs to take the responsibility. [/quote]

Yes but if one person gets sole custody it is usually for a good reason, you ever heard of child molester visitation, that's what they call the basics that even the worst of the worst get. Every other weekend and Wednesday.  Same thing with primary.  A material change in circumstances requires just that.  Getting married isn't enough material change.  Getting married while parenting requires either being not very selective, any old warm body will do, or committing a lot of time to dating and spending time with someone. Time that you probably aren't spending with the kids.

Material change in circumstances would probably look more like, stepping up and spending way more time and going way out of your way to be a co-parent and push your way into being a bigger part of the children's lives, volunteering to shuttle to docs appts., soccer practices, school conferences, sick days, etc. you know really stepping it up.

Kind of hard to do or want to do when you are involved in a new relationship and just want to keep the other person happy.

And after you are married, well you have seen some of the step parents on here complain about how they don't like/love the bratty step children and don't want them around, so when faced with yet another divorce under your belt or keeping the peace, then if you weren't committed to 50/50 from the start, when it would have made the biggest difference in the kids life, by being next best thing to seeing both parents every day, what makes you think the average person would all of a sudden go I know what will fix this -- 50/50.

Again after 3 years of having child molester visitation, and just as the kid is getting used to their new normal, how exactly do you think that would be viewed as being in anyone's best interest.

I have a lot of friends who tried to test this one and spent years of their lives and 10's of thousands of dollars and a lot of stress only to have status quo remain.  The longer it stands be it 3 years or 6, the more permanent it becomes and the older your kids get.  At some point they are teenagers and don't want to leave their home/friends etc to come to your house for every other weekend and Wednesdays. Hanging out with you and the new mom and the new kids isn't so exciting to a teenager. Time doesn't stand still. Make the most of what you have and don't take it for granted. [/quote]

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