How to be the "hang out house"

[Anonymous]

I got to third base in 8th grade at the "hang out house"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got to third base in 8th grade at the "hang out house"

That seems like a you problem not necessarily the houses problem. Keep your clothes in the 8th grade. Jesus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got to third base in 8th grade at the "hang out house"

That seems like a you problem not necessarily the houses problem. Keep your clothes in the 8th grade. Jesus.

It was all the kids hanging out in a room and taking turns in the closet.

[Anonymous]

-the parent who is present is fun, funny, and shows interest in the kids. You don't have to give the kids alcohol to be cool.
-lots of food. let everyone eat. fill the fridge with drinks and the pantry with snacks.
-sports equipment (basketball hoop, volleyball net)
-good tv/hangout room where kids can be loud
-be relaxed about rules/cleanliness. No white carpets and sofa. No freaking out if a lamp gets broken accidentally.
-Pets are always interesting
-honestly some of it is just location. If your house happens to be centrally located among a group of friends , it's more likely to be a hangout house.

[Anonymous]

I grew up in the hang out house. We had decent stuff compared to peers, but nothing super exciting. What we did have was parents who didn’t care if we were being loud, crazy and running around the house and lots of space. My parents were goofy and hands off, as long as no one was having fun and being positive e. Everyone was welcome and there were always snacks. Sometimes I came home to find my friends already there waiting for me!

A pool would have made it so no one ever left, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:-the parent who is present is fun, funny, and shows interest in the kids. You don't have to give the kids alcohol to be cool.
-lots of food. let everyone eat. fill the fridge with drinks and the pantry with snacks.
-sports equipment (basketball hoop, volleyball net)
-good tv/hangout room where kids can be loud
-be relaxed about rules/cleanliness. No white carpets and sofa. No freaking out if a lamp gets broken accidentally.
-Pets are always interesting
-honestly some of it is just location. If your house happens to be centrally located among a group of friends , it's more likely to be a hangout house.

^^ All this. My son would come home with a group of kids and I'd ask "Who have I adopted today?" I was very strict about using the trampoline and pool. I mostly hung out in the kitchen or living room, while the kids mostly hung out either outside or downstairs in the den.

[Anonymous]

5000-foot basement PP: you'd better get that alcohol out of the basement!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need "snacks"? Can't the kids eat at home? I don't want my child to go over and be offered junk foods that we don't normally eat at home. Oh well maybe I will teach them that. But still, these "snack" motive must be part of american culture and sounds weird to me. They are not coming for the party so I would not worry about "snacks".

You must be a real pill at parties When you go to someone's house they never offer you food or drink? Where are you from that you don't eat? And why is "snacks" in quotes. What would you envision instead? A three course meal?

YIKES

Seriously. Teens, especially those involved in sports, need a lot more calories than you. My brother would demolish an entire loaf of bread of Pb and j sandwiches or an entire pound of pasta as a snack before dinner. He was in year round sports and was very thin. Our house always had tons of water/milk, popcorn, pasta, bananas, oranges, ingredients to make bread or cookies, whole grain bread, lettuce, tomatoes, peanut butter, and sandwich meat and cheese always available. Mom was not going to spend a fortune feeding everyone ideal foods, but she tried to balance cheap with nutritious for the whole gang. She also taught us what was “off limits” for friends stopping by.

Guessing you are also the mom that requires your kid to ask before friends come over and that they must leave by a certain time. This is about being the hang out house. Kids hang out where they know they can grab something to eat if they get hungry. You have the house they leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need "snacks"? Can't the kids eat at home? I don't want my child to go over and be offered junk foods that we don't normally eat at home. Oh well maybe I will teach them that. But still, these "snack" motive must be part of american culture and sounds weird to me. They are not coming for the party so I would not worry about "snacks".

In middle and high school, kids come over straight from school. They may have eaten lunch at 11am, and now they're showing up at my house at 3 or 4pm. They haven't eaten in four or five hours. Just because they're eating at my house doesn't mean it's jelly beans and Doritos. You know what's been the biggest surprise hit? I slice apples, sprinkle cinnamon and then bake them for a few minutes. I wound up having to buy more apples. Apples and popcorn, and then pita chips with hummus and guac - the kids are happy.

[Anonymous]

PP. your food sounds much better. By "snacks" I mean junk food like chips, sugar-packed cookies, sodas, anything that is super processed/packed with cancer causing preservatives. I am from central European country and find it hard that kids (and people in general) here don't drink tea but have these non-stop snacking habits. My kids are used to "tea-time" between meals, and we bake often. I also make crepes almost every weekend. After 3-4 hrs without food a child of any age should have a meal, and not a peanut butter sandwich (what a horrible thing to eat anyway). I am always glad when kids stop by but I do not offer snacks, they are offered to have lunch together with my child, or any part of it they want to eat.
Just a thought, maybe kids are attracted to "hang-out house" because of those snacks that are tasty but unhealthy and they know it's the only place where they can get it, and kids of any age are known for their talents to make bad choices.

[Anonymous]

My daughter and her friends always refer to our house as "the house" and I think there are a few main reasons why...

- the main reason is probably that my daughter is a planner, and always offers up our house to her friends and offers to host, and I let her
- our house is the closest to school out of her friends, so it is convenient and easy
- they have their own space in the basement at my house with games and room to hang out, and we don't bother them while they are here


As they are getting older they are all choosing to do things more and more, like go to the mall, go on a hike, go to lunch etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP. your food sounds much better. By "snacks" I mean junk food like chips, sugar-packed cookies, sodas, anything that is super processed/packed with cancer causing preservatives. I am from central European country and find it hard that kids (and people in general) here don't drink tea but have these non-stop snacking habits. My kids are used to "tea-time" between meals, and we bake often. I also make crepes almost every weekend. After 3-4 hrs without food a child of any age should have a meal, and not a peanut butter sandwich (what a horrible thing to eat anyway). I am always glad when kids stop by but I do not offer snacks, they are offered to have lunch together with my child, or any part of it they want to eat.
Just a thought, maybe kids are attracted to "hang-out house" because of those snacks that are tasty but unhealthy and they know it's the only place where they can get it, and kids of any age are known for their talents to make bad choices.

There's nothing wrong with peanut butter sandwiches. I live in California where our state fruit is avocado. Handing out avocado toast to kids after school is a huge hit. Do I make banana bread and give that out too? Sure. I think you need to relax your stance on food and snacks, PP. It's okay for kids to eat. Kids are attracted to hang-out houses for all different reasons - maybe at their house people yell a lot, or smoke, or their mother is shrill, or has a ton of rules, etc. It's not all about the food. Growing up the friend's house I went to most had Twinkies and I never had one.

[Anonymous]

We were that house when my kids were under 10. Then we moved (they're teens).

We had a small townhouse with a postage-stamp-sized backyard, so it wasn't the amenities. I simply welcomed them, and offered a few snacks and drinks (not an unlimited kitchen, though).

Looking back, I mostly spoke to them like people and riffed off their interests. Oh, you like Minecraft? Have you run into Enderman yet? Have you built a castle? Get them talking about it, talk on their level. Put out the box of Legos. Follow their lead. Kids will want to do what they don't get to do at home. Oh, you want to watch Spongebob? Okay.

It's a balance between being in charge and allowing kids to have some fun. For most moms, it isn't easy to meet kids on their level while maintaining authority over the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need "snacks"? Can't the kids eat at home? I don't want my child to go over and be offered junk foods that we don't normally eat at home. Oh well maybe I will teach them that. But still, these "snack" motive must be part of american culture and sounds weird to me. They are not coming for the party so I would not worry about "snacks".

You obviously don’t have teenagers

Teenagers these days do not need unlimited snacks and gaming consoles. They need to quit stuffing their faces and get off their butts.

But go ahead and contribute to childhood obesity and lack of social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why do they need "snacks"? Can't the kids eat at home? I don't want my child to go over and be offered junk foods that we don't normally eat at home. Oh well maybe I will teach them that. But still, these "snack" motive must be part of american culture and sounds weird to me. They are not coming for the party so I would not worry about "snacks".

I guarantee that if you forbid your kids from eating junk food and other things you don’t have at home they will go out of their way to sneak it. And will possibly end up with disordered attitudes about food. Good luck with that.

What distorted attitudes will they have? That they should eat healthy food? Oh brother.

Seriously. If you think or current faster, bigger, unlimited food culture isn't distorted, I don't know what to say.