How to be the "hang out house"

[Anonymous]

Not as rude as someone calling me idiot, haha. I, however, think only what you had called me (starts with I) can compare Nutella with peanut butter - they are just totally different things - though of course Nutella isn't healthy at all but unfortunately delicious, and considered by most people a treat (and so eaten sparingly) while PB is thought of as a meal. I am not altogether against that kind of PB that you can press out of peanuts in small batches by yourself but you cannot seriously make a Skippy's PB and jelly sandwich for your child and send it to school as a lunch. BTW, more often than not palm oil is added to peanut butter, at least Skippy's has it, to make it smoother, so it is not always oil from peanuts that's in there.
I think any kids who swear while in a hang out house and know parents can hear them do not have respect for those parents.

[Anonymous]

Kids come here because my oldest daughter is a social director type and secondly because I’m easy going. A lot of her friends have parents who are very controlling with no clear purpose. I enforce rules that are important to me , but I pick my battles wisely and don’t micro manage my kids. I don’t give a shit what they wear and what they eat, and we are a little free range. My kids are responsible, get good grades, play sports/extracurriculars clean when I ask them to, and are good kids.

I’m a little antsy in personality so I take kids places a lot, my two fight less with friends around so I host a lot and take extra kids on vacations (like beach trips not real vacations).

We do have a pool, trampoline and the girls share the finished basement but we only got the first 2 this year.

[Anonymous]

My house was the hangout house. We were an easy access point to everywhere fun and cool in town.

People would come over just to hang out with my parents even when I wasn't around because they were always kind, generous, and offered food and drink. There were number of homes that didn't have food available-a mother starving her daughters to make them thin (they were already underweight), a son whose step-mother hated his existence and the father was gone for work and would eat out so he didn't have anything, etc. It's sad but happens quite often. It was always healthy food (apples, peanut butter, etc) except for cookies on Fridays. Any child who wanted or needed to eat, ate. If they needed anything, my parents were there for them. A ride, advice, an ear, assistance with more adult matters, (like protection from a sexually abusive step-parent) whatever. It was safe, nobody was harassing or breathing down there necks. My parents were 100% NOT checked out, either, and while they encouraged us to take responsibility for enforcing the house rules they would step in if we (for whatever reason) failed to do so.

We had (have) an amazing front porch and while the basement was decked out fine with pingpong, etc, it was really the porch and having the furniture and space for people to hang out outside that was a big deal. We regularly hosted movie nights, etc. We didn't have people inside during warm weather if our parents weren't home-this was a great reason for the porch. It was also great to let people have company when I (or anybody else) needed a break because they house was always jammed with people, especially in the summer because of my parents friends and siblings friends.

[Anonymous]

Mine was one of several hang out houses growing up. The things those houses had in common was food that kids were allowed to eat, space for kids to hang out without parents or other siblings being on top of you, parents who were home but mostly left you alone, access to TV or movies (I was born in 1979, so this meant a good collection of VHS tapes!), easy location to get to with street parking (once the kids could drive), and relaxed rules around the house (one friend had a house with rooms we weren’t allowed to go in so obviously that wasn’t a fun place to be).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mine was one of several hang out houses growing up. The things those houses had in common was food that kids were allowed to eat, space for kids to hang out without parents or other siblings being on top of you, parents who were home but mostly left you alone, access to TV or movies (I was born in 1979, so this meant a good collection of VHS tapes!), easy location to get to with street parking (once the kids could drive), and relaxed rules around the house (one friend had a house with rooms we weren’t allowed to go in so obviously that wasn’t a fun place to be).

^^^^^

I should state, this did NOT including drinking or smoking at those houses. Those may have been other hang out houses, but not mine or the ones I hung out at.

[Anonymous]

My house was the hang out house growing up. My parents both worked, and I was always allowed to have as many people over as I wanted to. We also just had good physical space for hanging out. We had a kitchen bar and kitchen table where my friends and I sat for hours and talked. We also had an old convertEd playroom with a TV in it but we almost never used it. We just hung out in the kitchen.

[Anonymous]

I’ve been watching this thread with interest and a little bit of horror. I’m an introvert and homebody so the thought of my house being any sort of “hang out” for a bunch of kids is... unappealing. However, I have super extroverted kids who love big parties and being surrounded by lots of friends. They are still youngish but I can see them instigating this in a few years.

I guess some of my fears have been mollified. I’m fairly laid back so a lot of what has been described would be ok with me. Not drinking and being disrespectful of my home, but a bunch of kids just relaxing, goofing off and laughing, probably ok. And assuming the same cohort of friends they now have in elementary are the same friends they have in high school, I can probably be happy to have them around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been watching this thread with interest and a little bit of horror. I’m an introvert and homebody so the thought of my house being any sort of “hang out” for a bunch of kids is... unappealing. However, I have super extroverted kids who love big parties and being surrounded by lots of friends. They are still youngish but I can see them instigating this in a few years.

I guess some of my fears have been mollified. I’m fairly laid back so a lot of what has been described would be ok with me. Not drinking and being disrespectful of my home, but a bunch of kids just relaxing, goofing off and laughing, probably ok. And assuming the same cohort of friends they now have in elementary are the same friends they have in high school, I can probably be happy to have them around.

I am a PP above who had the hangout house growing up. My mom is definitely an introvert, but I think she was ok with having so many kids in the house because (1) she wasn't actually hanging out with us and (2) my friends were genuinely nice people who were well-behaved, as it sounds like your kid's friends are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:... I host a lot and take extra kids on vacations (like beach trips not real vacations).

Oh my word! Beach trips are the only real vacation I have had in five years.

[Anonymous]

My kids are little but I also want to be this house and have already kind of started to work that way. My house was like this growing up too so I'd say a combo of

1) Hands off. And I don't think this means letting kids drink the basement just like, not lingering and letting them hang out without interrupting constantly. But you also need to be a place other kids are allowed to come over, so you need to be somewhat responsible

2) Being interested in the kids and their lives when they are around. I know all the kids around us and talk to them and they feel comfortable talking to me. I talk to them on their level. So I'm not up in their business but they're happy to see me when they do.

3) Food, always have food around, and like fun appealing foods. We're the people pulling out popsicles in July or making extra hot dogs or whatever. Cutting the watermelon and sharing with the neighborhood.

4) Fun things. I am the person that splurges on the ridiculous costco waterslide thing for $150 and we have the tree swing and just like, our house is fun. It is full of fun things.

5) Have a lot of kids (at least 2, more like 3-5). If you have a pack in the school they're more likely to be known as 'the smith pack' and then you have multiple generations of friends rolling through.

[Anonymous]

Both DH and I grew up in hang out houses.

My parents-

When I was in 7th grade they built a new garage. They made a second floor with bean bag chairs, a mini fridge, a TV VCR and Nintendo, pur old kitchen table and chairs, and a bookshelf of board games and craft stuff. Our yard had a cozy patio and firepit. Our basement had a record playing juke box and big screen TV.

My in laws:

-They never ever turned anyone away. BILs best friend with a horrible home life lived with them for a period. Any kid could call them at anytime for help or a ride. No judgment EVER in the moment. Serious talks and parent involvement when necessary. They host open houses for every sports game/event. Is there a hockey game on tonight? Anyone is welcome to stop over and have a soda, parents come in for a drink, always stocked with snacks or ready to order pizza. MIL and FIL are both genuinely funny, kind, compassionate humans.

[Anonymous]

Will people still want to hang out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are little but I also want to be this house and have already kind of started to work that way. My house was like this growing up too so I'd say a combo of

1) Hands off. And I don't think this means letting kids drink the basement just like, not lingering and letting them hang out without interrupting constantly. But you also need to be a place other kids are allowed to come over, so you need to be somewhat responsible

2) Being interested in the kids and their lives when they are around. I know all the kids around us and talk to them and they feel comfortable talking to me. I talk to them on their level. So I'm not up in their business but they're happy to see me when they do.

3) Food, always have food around, and like fun appealing foods. We're the people pulling out popsicles in July or making extra hot dogs or whatever. Cutting the watermelon and sharing with the neighborhood.

4) Fun things. I am the person that splurges on the ridiculous costco waterslide thing for $150 and we have the tree swing and just like, our house is fun. It is full of fun things.

5) Have a lot of kids (at least 2, more like 3-5). If you have a pack in the school they're more likely to be known as 'the smith pack' and then you have multiple generations of friends rolling through.

WTAF is this kind of advice?? NO ONE needs five kids, just so their family can be known as "the smith pack" and be the hangout house.

FFS some of you have taken leave of your senses...

[Anonymous]

Alcohol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are little but I also want to be this house and have already kind of started to work that way. My house was like this growing up too so I'd say a combo of

1) Hands off. And I don't think this means letting kids drink the basement just like, not lingering and letting them hang out without interrupting constantly. But you also need to be a place other kids are allowed to come over, so you need to be somewhat responsible

2) Being interested in the kids and their lives when they are around. I know all the kids around us and talk to them and they feel comfortable talking to me. I talk to them on their level. So I'm not up in their business but they're happy to see me when they do.

3) Food, always have food around, and like fun appealing foods. We're the people pulling out popsicles in July or making extra hot dogs or whatever. Cutting the watermelon and sharing with the neighborhood.

4) Fun things. I am the person that splurges on the ridiculous costco waterslide thing for $150 and we have the tree swing and just like, our house is fun. It is full of fun things.

5) Have a lot of kids (at least 2, more like 3-5). If you have a pack in the school they're more likely to be known as 'the smith pack' and then you have multiple generations of friends rolling through.

WTAF is this kind of advice?? NO ONE needs five kids, just so their family can be known as "the smith pack" and be the hangout house.

FFS some of you have taken leave of your senses...

+100