I am so lonely in my marriage. Please tell me how much togetherness is normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t understand why men and women should even be together except to procreate. We don’t have that much in common. My DH watches war shows, sports, and the news. I watch things like Sex and the City and The Notebook etc.. He’d rather get an enema than watch my shows and vice versa. Years ago when we first met, when I was in the bs pleasing phase, I actually went with him to see races, and monster truck jams! Anyway I’ve always pictured myself in a Golden Girls situation later in life. Can you imagine how much fun we’d have in our golden years. And we’d all love the same shows! I think this is the reason women become bitches at menopause. To scare off the men so we can live a peaceful life.

Ha! I actually have thought if I'd do better in a relationship with a woman.

I think there is something to be said for dealing with a man. I think it kind of makes you a better person to learn to live with someone so different from you. Whatever doesn’t kill you...

[Anonymous]

Troll? This is so extreme to me. Why are you staying in this marriage? Sounds horrible.

[Anonymous]

All of you who rail against men simply haven’t found a good one. My husband is awesome, and I can’t imagine my life without him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of you who rail against men simply haven’t found a good one. My husband is awesome, and I can’t imagine my life without him.

Oh please! I’ve had tons of boyfriends, some good some bad. First husband was a complete douche bag! Now I’m married to a good man. But unless you’re married to a very effeminate man we are still very different. I actually think it would be great to be married late in life to a celibate gay man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m married to a man of few words who is so burned out at the end of the day he has no interest in anything other than his phone and the tv. Feel bad for our last child at home that he doesn’t spend any time with. I realize it’s not ideal but I don’t want to blow up my life over it. We do what he is willing to do and it is what it is. Yes, it’s lonely but I imagine living alone is lonely to.

Omg, this is my situation too. He has no life, he’s a total shell after 7pm. He can’t do anything. Yes same in weekends. Autism runs in his family, and likely him. No one to talk with about anything at home once the kids left....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t understand why men and women should even be together except to procreate. We don’t have that much in common. My DH watches war shows, sports, and the news. I watch things like Sex and the City and The Notebook etc.. He’d rather get an enema than watch my shows and vice versa. Years ago when we first met, when I was in the bs pleasing phase, I actually went with him to see races, and monster truck jams! Anyway I’ve always pictured myself in a Golden Girls situation later in life. Can you imagine how much fun we’d have in our golden years. And we’d all love the same shows! I think this is the reason women become bitches at menopause. To scare off the men so we can live a peaceful life.

Except that I need men for sex.

We men do sort of have a monopoly on all the non-artificial penises out there. But even then they’re outnumbered by breasts, 2 to 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I honestly don’t understand why men and women should even be together except to procreate. We don’t have that much in common. My DH watches war shows, sports, and the news. I watch things like Sex and the City and The Notebook etc.. He’d rather get an enema than watch my shows and vice versa. Years ago when we first met, when I was in the bs pleasing phase, I actually went with him to see races, and monster truck jams! Anyway I’ve always pictured myself in a Golden Girls situation later in life. Can you imagine how much fun we’d have in our golden years. And we’d all love the same shows! I think this is the reason women become bitches at menopause. To scare off the men so we can live a peaceful life.

Except that I need men for sex.

And where is it written that you need a husband for that!?

[Anonymous]

Marriage is such an important relationship that people expect a lot from it but most are willing to give and take to make the other person happy. I know for my husband and I we need some space apart. The time apart makes the time together even better than it would have been otherwise. What you are going through is a part of the relationship. Communication is the key. Have you discussed this with your DH?

If not it is time. Marriage partners deserve honesty, respect, kindness and unconditional love. If you are lonely, talk to DH about it. Share and find a solution that will make each of you feel comfortable. There are no standards for this, it is dependent on the individuals. There are no timetables, there are no instructions for time together. So it is something you will just have to work out together.

I am praying that your DH will listen and that you will listen to him as you work through this. I pray for mutual consideration. I pray that you will find the fullness of all God intended for your relationship. I pray for blessings. The best is yet to come but this probably won[t be the last give/take situation you have in the wonderful relationship called marriage. A marriage relationship should be a continual process;, continual growing, continual sharing and continual blessing. Go for it. Two very helpful books are Boundaries and Ready to Wed (yes it does help even after the ceremony takes place). Reading them can bring great insight into the challenges of marriage and the blessings.