How are your 3/4/5 year olds handling this?

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old has been fine. She's had videos from her Pre-K teachers almost daily. She says she misses going to school, but that she also likes staying with us. But I have noticed that her lovey has been constantly with her, when she previously would just leave it in her bed all day. When she asked about our summer vacation, and we said that we'll probably have to postpone that, and try again later, she muttered "stupid virus." Although she is resilient and carrying on as a typical 5 year old, there is no doubt that she is internalizing and thinking about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 3.5 year old is acting pretty normally (even-keeled much of the time; wild mood swings at other times!). He doesn’t seem to be missing his nanny or preschool very much. The biggest issue is a lot of fighting with his little sister, who started walking and encroaching on his space during quarantine. He’s starting pre-k in the fall, so I’m a little concerned about how he will handle that. I don’t think he’s going to get to have a proper goodbye (or a goodbye at all) to his preschool friends and teachers.

HE doesn’t need a “proper” goodbye but I can appreciate how mom might miss that.

How do you know what he needs? Kids do benefit from having closure too, just like adults.

At preschool age he’s probably already forgotten. Kids that age are very in the immediate.

It's so weird to me when people try to explain how kids they've never met will feel about things. We know our kids, thank you. Mine (3.5 as well) still misses a classmate who left in November. It's not anything we bring up, but every now and then she mentions it. Same with a teacher who left more recently. Nothing that really impacts her significantly, but she definitely remembers people she hasn't seen in months. Hell, she doesn't seen her grandparents for months at a time normally, she still remembers that they exist.

[Anonymous]

My almost 2YO and 5YO seem to be regressing. 5YO has ADHD and mild social/emotional issues and although we're trying our best, we're still WAH FT so he isn't getting the attention he needs. And he isn't getting the services called for by his IEP.

Is anyone thinking about red-shirting their rising K kid, particularly if he has a challenge or diagnosis? His birthday is in January, so would this be a non-starter in MCPS?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 3.5 year old is acting pretty normally (even-keeled much of the time; wild mood swings at other times!). He doesn’t seem to be missing his nanny or preschool very much. The biggest issue is a lot of fighting with his little sister, who started walking and encroaching on his space during quarantine. He’s starting pre-k in the fall, so I’m a little concerned about how he will handle that. I don’t think he’s going to get to have a proper goodbye (or a goodbye at all) to his preschool friends and teachers.

HE doesn’t need a “proper” goodbye but I can appreciate how mom might miss that.

How do you know what he needs? Kids do benefit from having closure too, just like adults.

At preschool age he’s probably already forgotten. Kids that age are very in the immediate.

It's so weird to me when people try to explain how kids they've never met will feel about things. We know our kids, thank you. Mine (3.5 as well) still misses a classmate who left in November. It's not anything we bring up, but every now and then she mentions it. Same with a teacher who left more recently. Nothing that really impacts her significantly, but she definitely remembers people she hasn't seen in months. Hell, she doesn't seen her grandparents for months at a time normally, she still remembers that they exist.

I agree. I would never presume to know how another person's kid is going to react -- especially when I've never met the kid!

My 3.5 year old is doing fine, but I know other kids react differently. Nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:4yo DD has started having near daily potty accidents after having been fully trained for over a year. Tantrums have become frequent and brutal. She's generally a happy, easy-going kid. DH and I both WOH full-time, so she's used to all day daycare/preschool. She's very much an extrovert and thrives off of play with others.
DH and I both have to WFH full-time now. We are both on telecons half the day, and she is desperate for attention. We are trying to alternate who takes over keeping her occupied and happy, but, after nearly 5 weeks, it is starting to take a toll on all of us. She misses her grandparents tremendously. She's gone from seeing them weekly to only via FaceTime, and it just isn't the same for her. She asks repeatedly when she can play with her friends again, and she's starting to show some fear of other people she sees when we are outside on walks or playing in the yard. We don't watch the news or discuss COVID around her. Yes, I do worry very much about the long-term impacts to these young children.

Really? I worry about the long term impact of the kids I see sleeping on medians in the countries I travel to. I worry about the long term impact of kids in abusive homes here in the United States. I worry about the long term impact of the kids who have been brutalized by wars all over the middle east, about the kids in detention centers at our borders. I do not worry about the long term impact of Larla not being able to see her grandparents in person for a few months, or missing her dance class or whatever. Please get a grip. Your child is fed, clothed, safe, warm, has toys and probably an Ipad, access to hundred of miles of clean and lovely hiking and biking trails, parents who are alive and safe who love her, grandparents who are alive and safe who love her, teachers who check in on her, Door Dash, Amazon, Disney+, Netflix, Spotify...

This is change, transition, something different than what they are accustomed to. This is different, and different can be hard. But the things you are describing are not devastating, not trauma, not hardship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My almost 2YO and 5YO seem to be regressing. 5YO has ADHD and mild social/emotional issues and although we're trying our best, we're still WAH FT so he isn't getting the attention he needs. And he isn't getting the services called for by his IEP.

Is anyone thinking about red-shirting their rising K kid, particularly if he has a challenge or diagnosis? His birthday is in January, so would this be a non-starter in MCPS?

Not “red-shirting,” but if school is online we’ll file a homeschool plan and do the minimum. Also a Jan kid. He’s not challenged per se; we just don’t think online school is age-appropriate and we have the option so we’ll take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 5 yo is fine because we are fine. He has a great life. He has me all day around, and basically unlimited time on electronics. When I’m free from work for a bit, we are spending a ton of time together outside in the nice weather we’ve been having. He talks to his cousins and grandparents on the phone more than usual. Maybe once a week we will dial into a pre school circle time to say hi to everyone. We are doing more together than we have, because he’s with me all day, and because literally every weekend there’s a new outdoor adventure. This is NOT TRAUMA for a five year old or four year old, and especially not for a theee year old! Sheesh. These kids are young. What they need most in life is to feel secure, and they feel the most secure with their parents. But getting to hang around all day with mom and/or dad, lots of outdoor adventures, loads of new toys for Easter plus new games on the iPad, and also a new bike on the way? If it’s trauma, it’s the most privileged trauma ever.

Tell that to my 5 year old who has not been able to hug her father for 5 weeks, and is not able to live with her father for the past 3 weeks b/c he is an ICU physician. Privilege is assuming that the world is experiencing everything in the same way that you are.

[Anonymous]

My 5 y/o loved staying home from preschool. She's pretty sensitive so the teasing and perceived slights of typical preschool kids really bother her. I've had to WFH so couldn't spend a ton of time tutoring/homeschooling her. She would spend some time doing ABC Mouse, practicing writing, and doing whatever craft I could figure out for them. "Educational" TV (lots of Magic Schoolbus and Carmen San Diego).

My borderline speech-delayed 2 y/o has had a language explosion since being home. Having to explain what she wants and engaging in way more one-on-one interaction has been a game-changer. She's also making strides in potty-training.

That said...they went back to daycare today. I did fight it as my hill to die on and I'm basically dead because I lost. I can't take time off work right now and DH fought me tooth and nail, insisting I cannot balance work and keep them home. So right now I'm balancing working and looking for a new place to live.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4yo DD has started having near daily potty accidents after having been fully trained for over a year. Tantrums have become frequent and brutal. She's generally a happy, easy-going kid. DH and I both WOH full-time, so she's used to all day daycare/preschool. She's very much an extrovert and thrives off of play with others.
DH and I both have to WFH full-time now. We are both on telecons half the day, and she is desperate for attention. We are trying to alternate who takes over keeping her occupied and happy, but, after nearly 5 weeks, it is starting to take a toll on all of us. She misses her grandparents tremendously. She's gone from seeing them weekly to only via FaceTime, and it just isn't the same for her. She asks repeatedly when she can play with her friends again, and she's starting to show some fear of other people she sees when we are outside on walks or playing in the yard. We don't watch the news or discuss COVID around her. Yes, I do worry very much about the long-term impacts to these young children.

Really? I worry about the long term impact of the kids I see sleeping on medians in the countries I travel to. I worry about the long term impact of kids in abusive homes here in the United States. I worry about the long term impact of the kids who have been brutalized by wars all over the middle east, about the kids in detention centers at our borders. I do not worry about the long term impact of Larla not being able to see her grandparents in person for a few months, or missing her dance class or whatever. Please get a grip. Your child is fed, clothed, safe, warm, has toys and probably an Ipad, access to hundred of miles of clean and lovely hiking and biking trails, parents who are alive and safe who love her, grandparents who are alive and safe who love her, teachers who check in on her, Door Dash, Amazon, Disney+, Netflix, Spotify...

This is change, transition, something different than what they are accustomed to. This is different, and different can be hard. But the things you are describing are not devastating, not trauma, not hardship.

I'm the PP you are responding to. Back off. Yes, I worry about those children, too. But this is MY child. I have severe anxiety issues, brought on in part by things I saw and experienced as a very young child. Yes, I do worry about the implications of some of this in my kid because I don't want such experiences to set off anxiety issues in her in the long run. I know first hand how awful it is to live with an anxiety disorder. We are doing everything we can to shelter my DD and keep things as normal as possible for her, but she's very sensitive, as was I, so...yes, as her mother, I'm concerned.

You might be surprised to learn that I can worry about my own child in this way while also having deep empathy for others in far worse situations. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

[Anonymous]

My 4.5 year old is fine. Annoying, but fine. She’s actually the one I worry least about. That said, she has a 7 year old sister and 9.5 year old brother to play (and fight) with all day long, so she’s not lonely. Her preschool started a FB page and she loves the videos they post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My almost 2YO and 5YO seem to be regressing. 5YO has ADHD and mild social/emotional issues and although we're trying our best, we're still WAH FT so he isn't getting the attention he needs. And he isn't getting the services called for by his IEP.

Is anyone thinking about red-shirting their rising K kid, particularly if he has a challenge or diagnosis? His birthday is in January, so would this be a non-starter in MCPS?

I’m one of the PP’s - I am redshirting but my kid has an August birthday so he’d be one of the youngest without it. In your situation I would look for a private K, maybe one that’s not beholden to the public schools closing/opening calendar. Maybe even a public 1st with smaller class sizes. Then he can stay on grade level and benefit from smaller class sizes and private instruction for a few years. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:4yo DD has started having near daily potty accidents after having been fully trained for over a year. Tantrums have become frequent and brutal. She's generally a happy, easy-going kid. DH and I both WOH full-time, so she's used to all day daycare/preschool. She's very much an extrovert and thrives off of play with others.
DH and I both have to WFH full-time now. We are both on telecons half the day, and she is desperate for attention. We are trying to alternate who takes over keeping her occupied and happy, but, after nearly 5 weeks, it is starting to take a toll on all of us. She misses her grandparents tremendously. She's gone from seeing them weekly to only via FaceTime, and it just isn't the same for her. She asks repeatedly when she can play with her friends again, and she's starting to show some fear of other people she sees when we are outside on walks or playing in the yard. We don't watch the news or discuss COVID around her. Yes, I do worry very much about the long-term impacts to these young children.

Really? I worry about the long term impact of the kids I see sleeping on medians in the countries I travel to. I worry about the long term impact of kids in abusive homes here in the United States. I worry about the long term impact of the kids who have been brutalized by wars all over the middle east, about the kids in detention centers at our borders. I do not worry about the long term impact of Larla not being able to see her grandparents in person for a few months, or missing her dance class or whatever. Please get a grip. Your child is fed, clothed, safe, warm, has toys and probably an Ipad, access to hundred of miles of clean and lovely hiking and biking trails, parents who are alive and safe who love her, grandparents who are alive and safe who love her, teachers who check in on her, Door Dash, Amazon, Disney+, Netflix, Spotify...

This is change, transition, something different than what they are accustomed to. This is different, and different can be hard. But the things you are describing are not devastating, not trauma, not hardship.

I'm the PP you are responding to. Back off. Yes, I worry about those children, too. But this is MY child. I have severe anxiety issues, brought on in part by things I saw and experienced as a very young child. Yes, I do worry about the implications of some of this in my kid because I don't want such experiences to set off anxiety issues in her in the long run. I know first hand how awful it is to live with an anxiety disorder. We are doing everything we can to shelter my DD and keep things as normal as possible for her, but she's very sensitive, as was I, so...yes, as her mother, I'm concerned.

You might be surprised to learn that I can worry about my own child in this way while also having deep empathy for others in far worse situations. It doesn't have to be one or the other.

This. There is a difference, btw, between having an adverse experience (or multiple) and being traumatized. One in two children has one of the classically defined "adverse childhood experiences" (e.g., parental divorce, neglect, abuse, etc.). That doesn't mean they are all traumatized. Every child reacts differently in part based on biology. The more adverse experiences, the higher risk of trauma. That is why those experiencing major adversity are at most risk. But it also means that does who experiencing what you're terming as "privileged adversity" are still at risk of being affected, too. It's the "suck it up, people have it worse than you" people who lead many who have mental health needs to not seek them out.

Children are being affected. Period. How they're being affected will vary based on a number of things -- from parental job security, to having siblings, to having outdoor space to play. But its important to recognize that any sudden and major change we're seeing will affect kids, period. And we have to do what we can to support their needs (and schools need to be prepared for that when they eventually go back, too).

[Anonymous]

My 5 yr old (starts K next year) is doing fine. She has an older and younger sibling to play with and we have a small yard. Her preschool does a short zoom meeting every morning where the teacher reads a story and they dance to music. By the end of the week she doesn’t want to do it anymore but does on Monday. I imagine if she were an only child then it would be harder for her.

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old said once that she missed her class. That was it. She is occupied everyday with her siblings, scooter, bike riding, movies, art etc. She's happy and enjoying herself. She also enjoys seeing her teacher and classmates every morning via zoom. Her teacher is really great about engaging the students during their meetings which is nice to see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My almost 2YO and 5YO seem to be regressing. 5YO has ADHD and mild social/emotional issues and although we're trying our best, we're still WAH FT so he isn't getting the attention he needs. And he isn't getting the services called for by his IEP.

Is anyone thinking about red-shirting their rising K kid, particularly if he has a challenge or diagnosis? His birthday is in January, so would this be a non-starter in MCPS?

I’m sorry PP. We have 2 boys those ages and while our oldest doesn’t have an official diagnosis, he has some behavioral issues that crop up when not in a good routine. He does SO well with check lists and knowing that we can do x at this time and y at that time. Now with DH and I trying to work from home and take various meetings and deal with deadlines, the days are blurring together. I am seeing the behavioral issues (lashing out at his younger brother, angry crying, storming off, etc.) the longer this goes on. It doesn’t help that his little brother is getting into his “stuff” even though I try to separate them sometimes. But there is only so much I can do to stop a toddler that wants to be with his big brother. I can’t lock the 2 year old away all day in our small house.