How are your 3/4/5 year olds handling this?

[Anonymous]

My 5 year old, in preK, is mostly fine. He doesn’t seem to really miss school that much at all and doesn’t really want to do the distance learning or any activities his school has sent out. We still do them but on a very slow, relaxed schedule. He has enjoyed the ability to do things in his own time. We’re never rushing around to go anywhere and I’m never having to remind him multiple times to get dressed, brush teeth, etc. We just do things when we feel like it and are both much more calm and relaxed as a result. The only parts that have been really hard for him are places he likes to go being closed such as museum, library, zoo, playgrounds and that he can’t see his grandparents or friends in person. He has been emotional about those things on occasion. Overall though, I think he genuinely enjoys being home and having all our family here together all the time. And he and his sister have been getting along much better than usual. They play so well together now and hardly ever fight which really surprised me as I thought they’d get sick of only seeing each other all the time and no other kids. But all the time together has actually brought them closer.

My 3 year old, who doesn’t go to school yet, is also mostly fine with this. She really loves having her older brother here but I think she misses having one on one time with me that she was used to having daily during the week while her brother was at school. She also has regressed a bit to acting like a baby sometimes with baby talk and wanting to be carried around. I’m not sure it’s connected to any stress or anxiety she may feel but I think that’s a possible cause.

[Anonymous]

We have a 5 year old, only child. He has been mostly fine. Some outbursts that are not "about" the situation but are probably stress coming out sideways. He circles back to talk about it periodically, we talk about it when appropriate.

However, he is just starting to realize that his dad and I did not go through anything equivalent in our own childhoods. The other day, he asked what we did when the virus was happening when we were young. There was definitely a moment when we told him this had not happened before.

[Anonymous]

It's a really good thing to teach your kids how to be resilient. They will be fine and we can support them through their emotions as they process all of this. It's times like these that actually build their character, not the music class or dance class or trip out to dinner. Help them work through these feelings - validate them, agree that it is hard, talk about what you'll do when things open up again. We really can't shy away from this, it's CRITICAL for their development that they are given the space and support to feel negative emotion. Let's not pity them right now. Times in our history have been much, much worse.

[Anonymous]

4yo DD has started having near daily potty accidents after having been fully trained for over a year. Tantrums have become frequent and brutal. She's generally a happy, easy-going kid. DH and I both WOH full-time, so she's used to all day daycare/preschool. She's very much an extrovert and thrives off of play with others.
DH and I both have to WFH full-time now. We are both on telecons half the day, and she is desperate for attention. We are trying to alternate who takes over keeping her occupied and happy, but, after nearly 5 weeks, it is starting to take a toll on all of us. She misses her grandparents tremendously. She's gone from seeing them weekly to only via FaceTime, and it just isn't the same for her. She asks repeatedly when she can play with her friends again, and she's starting to show some fear of other people she sees when we are outside on walks or playing in the yard. We don't watch the news or discuss COVID around her. Yes, I do worry very much about the long-term impacts to these young children.

[Anonymous]

No one is saying don’t let kids have their emotions. Let them have their emotions. And help them get through it. But honestly, it’s pathetic to hear parents saying that this is “devastating” for their kids or devastating to hear that their 3/4/5 yo kids are sad they cannot see friends or go to freaking music class. Come on. This is much more impactful on older kids. And even older kids, like seniors, need to understand and have gratitude for what they do have rather than focusing on what they have lost.

[Anonymous]

Our 3.5 year old is acting pretty normally (even-keeled much of the time; wild mood swings at other times!). He doesn’t seem to be missing his nanny or preschool very much. The biggest issue is a lot of fighting with his little sister, who started walking and encroaching on his space during quarantine. He’s starting pre-k in the fall, so I’m a little concerned about how he will handle that. I don’t think he’s going to get to have a proper goodbye (or a goodbye at all) to his preschool friends and teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying don’t let kids have their emotions. Let them have their emotions. And help them get through it. But honestly, it’s pathetic to hear parents saying that this is “devastating” for their kids or devastating to hear that their 3/4/5 yo kids are sad they cannot see friends or go to freaking music class. Come on. This is much more impactful on older kids. And even older kids, like seniors, need to understand and have gratitude for what they do have rather than focusing on what they have lost.

Let them have their emotions, so long as they're the emotions you think are acceptable, otherwise it's pathetic. Got it. A++ empathy good job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying don’t let kids have their emotions. Let them have their emotions. And help them get through it. But honestly, it’s pathetic to hear parents saying that this is “devastating” for their kids or devastating to hear that their 3/4/5 yo kids are sad they cannot see friends or go to freaking music class. Come on. This is much more impactful on older kids. And even older kids, like seniors, need to understand and have gratitude for what they do have rather than focusing on what they have lost.

“Devastating“ may be an overly dramatic word, I’ll give you that. But it is not pathetic for parents to feel sad at what their kids are missing or how this may affect their kids. Some or even most kids will bounce right back after this and be basically unaffected by it all but some kids are more sensitive, observant, and tuned in to the world around them than others. Not saying that this not worse for older kids or adults than it is for young kids. Honestly, I’m glad my kids are really young and not high school or college age right now as I think that would be a lot harder. And obviously there is no comparison between my young kids missing preschool and people who are actually sick, dying, living in poverty, etc etc. Just because the effects of this on otherwise privileged young kids are not “devastating” doesn’t mean they’re not worthy of being discussed or considered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is saying don’t let kids have their emotions. Let them have their emotions. And help them get through it. But honestly, it’s pathetic to hear parents saying that this is “devastating” for their kids or devastating to hear that their 3/4/5 yo kids are sad they cannot see friends or go to freaking music class. Come on. This is much more impactful on older kids. And even older kids, like seniors, need to understand and have gratitude for what they do have rather than focusing on what they have lost.

“Devastating“ may be an overly dramatic word, I’ll give you that. But it is not pathetic for parents to feel sad at what their kids are missing or how this may affect their kids. Some or even most kids will bounce right back after this and be basically unaffected by it all but some kids are more sensitive, observant, and tuned in to the world around them than others. Not saying that this not worse for older kids or adults than it is for young kids. Honestly, I’m glad my kids are really young and not high school or college age right now as I think that would be a lot harder. And obviously there is no comparison between my young kids missing preschool and people who are actually sick, dying, living in poverty, etc etc. Just because the effects of this on otherwise privileged young kids are not “devastating” doesn’t mean they’re not worthy of being discussed or considered.

It is always worth remembering that this will impact people in similar situations differently. I'm working full-time and doing the vast majority of childcare, but I'm doing way better than my spouse who is only working full-time, because he's a different person with different needs and challenges. This is hard for almost everyone and the "this is harder for THEM than YOU, suck it up BUTTERCUP" competition helps no one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 3 and 5 year old are loving this because "they get to spend every day with us." They also loved school, and we never had issues with drop off. But when we do return to school, that's going to be tough.

The only thing that is difficult is that 5 weeks in and they still don't seem to understand that mom and dad need to telework. Just because we're home doesn't mean that we're free to play with them all the time.

Same situation. My 3 and 5 year old, who went to full time care their whole lives, are actually pretty happy. Yes, they are disappointed they can't do things. But yesterday we walked right by a playground and they didn't even ask about it, so they've caught on.

They seem to really enjoy all the time with parents. No rushing out of the house, lots of our attention (even though we are trying to work too!). My DH and I are struggling more with the limited social things than they are.

Also, they finally have time for some deeper imaginative play. It's been interesting to see how that's developed. Yes, they are also watching plenty of TV! But now they are inventing games and really deeply playing together. It's helped me not worry about their development at all. This time seems like it may benefit them in the long run. If we can get out of it without any germ OCD....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our 3.5 year old is acting pretty normally (even-keeled much of the time; wild mood swings at other times!). He doesn’t seem to be missing his nanny or preschool very much. The biggest issue is a lot of fighting with his little sister, who started walking and encroaching on his space during quarantine. He’s starting pre-k in the fall, so I’m a little concerned about how he will handle that. I don’t think he’s going to get to have a proper goodbye (or a goodbye at all) to his preschool friends and teachers.

HE doesn’t need a “proper” goodbye but I can appreciate how mom might miss that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 3.5 year old is acting pretty normally (even-keeled much of the time; wild mood swings at other times!). He doesn’t seem to be missing his nanny or preschool very much. The biggest issue is a lot of fighting with his little sister, who started walking and encroaching on his space during quarantine. He’s starting pre-k in the fall, so I’m a little concerned about how he will handle that. I don’t think he’s going to get to have a proper goodbye (or a goodbye at all) to his preschool friends and teachers.

HE doesn’t need a “proper” goodbye but I can appreciate how mom might miss that.

How do you know what he needs? Kids do benefit from having closure too, just like adults.

[Anonymous]

They miss school and their friends and there are only so many arts and crafts projects I can organize. I have three 6 and under and at least they have each other to play and fight with. I think it would be very difficult for an only child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our 3.5 year old is acting pretty normally (even-keeled much of the time; wild mood swings at other times!). He doesn’t seem to be missing his nanny or preschool very much. The biggest issue is a lot of fighting with his little sister, who started walking and encroaching on his space during quarantine. He’s starting pre-k in the fall, so I’m a little concerned about how he will handle that. I don’t think he’s going to get to have a proper goodbye (or a goodbye at all) to his preschool friends and teachers.

HE doesn’t need a “proper” goodbye but I can appreciate how mom might miss that.

How do you know what he needs? Kids do benefit from having closure too, just like adults.

At preschool age he’s probably already forgotten. Kids that age are very in the immediate.

[Anonymous]

4.5 year old don’t miss preschool at all, does occasionally ask about 2-3 kids in his class though - one of which I’m almost positive he won’t see again as his mom told me they were expecting to relocate for a military move - though maybe that’s on hold now, I don’t know. He is constantly a little bored and misses playgrounds and “going places” though. He cried about not being able to go to Costco with me.