DD Came Out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FTM or MTF? I know there are some who don’t want to hear it, but this is a trending thing among teenagers. For girls, it’s replaced the cutting and anorexia of past decades as a way of dealing with the pain and anxiety of puberty. I would do what you can to avoid any permanent changes or medical/surgical treatments.

I agree. Some people are very quick to jump on the transgender bandwagon because they see something virtuous and woke in it, but it's only damaging. Odds are the daughter is just using it as an excuse to seek attention or address some internal frustration.

I would suggest the best approach is to simply back out and see how it plays out. If the daughter genuinely thinks she is transgender it will manifest itself in other ways rather than just declaring herself a transgender. "Real" transgenderism is a serious neurosis condition. If she doesn't do anything beyond calling herself a transgender, then she's just seeking attention for other reasons and it will fade away in due time.

Uhhh, WTF?
Closed minded much?
Did you really just say that transgenderism is a serious neurosis condition??

You do know that neurosis is by definition a mental illness, correct??

God, you narrow minded, small people are what's wrong with the world today.

Please note that in medical terms, it's still considered as a neurosis. Just so you don't have a heart attack if a doctor ever speaks to you about it

Please note, that as a medical professional with both an MD and PhD, it is not. The DSM-5 does not categorize being transgender as a mental disorder, which is what your term "neurosis" means. A condition or state of being becomes a mental disorder when it causes a significant amount of distress on the person, sometimes even to the point of being a disability to them.

Where the mental disorder part comes in with being transgender is when the transgender person experiences extreme gender dysphoria, which is the distress a person feels when their gender identity and assigned sex do not match. Gender dysphoria is a mental disorder and can (and should) be treated so that the person may live their best life.

If a parent brought their child to me, and after speaking with that child I found no gender dysphoria, I would not recommend more sessions as they have no mental issue with which I can assist. Do many parents still treat being transgender as being mentally ill and something that needs fixed by a professional? Yes, sadly, many do. Thankfully, nearly all are open to being educated on the subject so that they can best support their loved ones.

[Anonymous]

Tell your DH to grow up.

[Anonymous]

I have a tween girl right now and she came out trans I would accept the child, love the child and support the child any which way can and I be happy I have a son.

But, how anyone can say there is no medical/mental condition present when a person's brain does not match the body is beyond me and totally defies any sense of logic. Biology is biology to me and having a mental/medical condition is no judgment about the person. Alas, I will be called transphobic, ignorant, a bully, bad parent, and bigot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yesterday evening, my DC came out to my DH and I as transgender. She is 17 and I really want to support my DC and be there for them as much as possible, but my DH was raised a strict catholic, and he stormed out of the room last night when my DC told us. Not the reaction I think she was hoping for...
Anyone have advice on how to talk to DH???

The advice you need is to get OFF this board for any guidance. Seriously, go someplace more specific.

Fourth Wave Now blog

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite your husband to think about whether or not he would like his daughter to kill herself or leave your house and never EVER have anything to do with him ever again. Because that's what he's putting in motion by storming out.

Now, maybe he needed a while to wrap his head around this, but he just rejected his child in a huge way.

I'm reminded of back in the day when my teen cousin declared she was bisexual and had kissed a girl, and my aunt said "how nice" and not another word, and the cousin is now happily married with children.

That's teenagers for you.

I'm in this camp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Just tell him to wait it out.

I’m in “How nice, dear” camp.

Yup. It is now hipster to be trans dontcha know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:FTM or MTF? I know there are some who don’t want to hear it, but this is a trending thing among teenagers. For girls, it’s replaced the cutting and anorexia of past decades as a way of dealing with the pain and anxiety of puberty. I would do what you can to avoid any permanent changes or medical/surgical treatments.

Completely agree. It’s super trendy to be trans especially among the younger crowd.

[Anonymous]

You parents are sick and so not informed. It isn’t a trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this came as a surprise to you I have to ask:

Where the fvck were you the last 17 years?

See, with ROGD, it’s characterized by “Rapid Onset”, as in, it develops suddenly, and the child has previously not given any indication of any discomfort with their birth gender. So it’s highly probable this is completely new to both op and her child.

This is bullshit. True transgenders experience 'discomfort with their birth gender' pretty much for the start.
And if your 17-year-old just wakes up one day and claims to be 'in the wrong body', how is different from an onset of a true mental illness such as schizophrenia?

[Anonymous]

Please, please PLEASE utilize PFLAG. pflag.org.

It's for parents, by parents. Most PFLAG chapters have programs where you can talk one on one with another parent who's had the same experience you're having now. They don't have an agenda, they're just about support.

Please do this for your daugher. What happens now will affect her self-image, her emotional wellbeing, her relationships and her overall health for the rest of her life.

pflag.org
pflag.org
pflag.org
pflag.org
pflag.org

[Anonymous]

I read something my son wrote yesterday. The piece he wrote was about me. In it, he listed 3 reasons why I'm a good mom. He repeatedly wrote, I believe in him.

So, believe in your daughter. Support her. DH needs to process the news. The only thing you can do is encourage him to be there for the daughter. You might not want her to be transgender but you need to believe in her. Let her find her way in that aspect. Guide her along on how to deal with some people. But, don't have her give up on her dad. Have her say what comes from her heart and hopefully it isn't negative. Or have her say, I just want you to believe in me, dad. Some support. If you don't support me, who am I suppose to turn to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would explain to your DD that you didn't anticipate it and you will love her regardless but that it will take time for you as parents to process this - you are all going through a transition. Our child changed their sexual preferences twice between ages 15 and 19 and we anticipate that they may change again. As parents, we try to just act and parent the same toward our child and not overly react to anything. We don't announce to others our child's changes because we aren't sure how things will end up.

Sexual preference and gender are two different things. My DD’s friend didn’t socially transition until MS, but he expressed that he was really a boy by age 2 —long before a concept of sexual attraction. His assertion was early, consistent, and urgent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FTM or MTF? I know there are some who don’t want to hear it, but this is a trending thing among teenagers. For girls, it’s replaced the cutting and anorexia of past decades as a way of dealing with the pain and anxiety of puberty. I would do what you can to avoid any permanent changes or medical/surgical treatments.

I agree. Some people are very quick to jump on the transgender bandwagon because they see something virtuous and woke in it, but it's only damaging. Odds are the daughter is just using it as an excuse to seek attention or address some internal frustration.

I would suggest the best approach is to simply back out and see how it plays out. If the daughter genuinely thinks she is transgender it will manifest itself in other ways rather than just declaring herself a transgender. "Real" transgenderism is a serious neurosis condition. If she doesn't do anything beyond calling herself a transgender, then she's just seeking attention for other reasons and it will fade away in due time.

Uhhh, WTF?
Closed minded much?
Did you really just say that transgenderism is a serious neurosis condition??

You do know that neurosis is by definition a mental illness, correct??

God, you narrow minded, small people are what's wrong with the world today.

Please note that in medical terms, it's still considered as a neurosis. Just so you don't have a heart attack if a doctor ever speaks to you about it

Closed minded AND ignorant?
Such an attractive combination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a tween girl right now and she came out trans I would accept the child, love the child and support the child any which way can and I be happy I have a son.

But, how anyone can say there is no medical/mental condition present when a person's brain does not match the body is beyond me and totally defies any sense of logic. Biology is biology to me and having a mental/medical condition is no judgment about the person. Alas, I will be called transphobic, ignorant, a bully, bad parent, and bigot.

Where exactly did you get your degree in psychology again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a tween girl right now and she came out trans I would accept the child, love the child and support the child any which way can and I be happy I have a son.

But, how anyone can say there is no medical/mental condition present when a person's brain does not match the body is beyond me and totally defies any sense of logic. Biology is biology to me and having a mental/medical condition is no judgment about the person. Alas, I will be called transphobic, ignorant, a bully, bad parent, and bigot.

Where exactly did you get your degree in psychology again?

I don't need a psychology degree to use basic logic. I dare to say that many in the medical community think that psychology isn't science at all. These are all excuses to make people feel like rejecting your gender is normal. Come on, we all know "scientific" conclusions can be determined to reach a certain outcome. Happens everyday...