DD Came Out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FTM or MTF? I know there are some who don’t want to hear it, but this is a trending thing among teenagers. For girls, it’s replaced the cutting and anorexia of past decades as a way of dealing with the pain and anxiety of puberty. I would do what you can to avoid any permanent changes or medical/surgical treatments.

I agree. Some people are very quick to jump on the transgender bandwagon because they see something virtuous and woke in it, but it's only damaging. Odds are the daughter is just using it as an excuse to seek attention or address some internal frustration.

I would suggest the best approach is to simply back out and see how it plays out. If the daughter genuinely thinks she is transgender it will manifest itself in other ways rather than just declaring herself a transgender. "Real" transgenderism is a serious neurosis condition. If she doesn't do anything beyond calling herself a transgender, then she's just seeking attention for other reasons and it will fade away in due time.

Go crawl back under your rock, PP. You know nothing about transgenderism or parenting.

I have a feeling you're not a parent and have limited experience with teenagers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:FTM or MTF? I know there are some who don’t want to hear it, but this is a trending thing among teenagers. For girls, it’s replaced the cutting and anorexia of past decades as a way of dealing with the pain and anxiety of puberty. I would do what you can to avoid any permanent changes or medical/surgical treatments.

OP here. FTM. I have always noticed my daughter not liking as many feminine things, so not THAT much of a shock to me at least.

Not liking feminine things doesn't make you a man. I like almost no feminine things and am not at all traditionally feminine and I am still a woman. If your daughter has been raised with a lot of gender stereotypes, first she should be aware that you can be a woman and not like feminine things at all. You can be a woman who is into all traditionally male things.

[Anonymous]

Invite your husband to think about whether or not he would like his daughter to kill herself or leave your house and never EVER have anything to do with him ever again. Because that's what he's putting in motion by storming out.

Now, maybe he needed a while to wrap his head around this, but he just rejected his child in a huge way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Invite your husband to think about whether or not he would like his daughter to kill herself or leave your house and never EVER have anything to do with him ever again. Because that's what he's putting in motion by storming out.

Now, maybe he needed a while to wrap his head around this, but he just rejected his child in a huge way.

I'm reminded of back in the day when my teen cousin declared she was bisexual and had kissed a girl, and my aunt said "how nice" and not another word, and the cousin is now happily married with children.

That's teenagers for you.

[Anonymous]

It aounds like there are a lot of issues going on here, particularly with the Catholic dh storming out. Your dd may change her mind a couple of times before she's in her early 20s, people just didn't used to tell their parents about these sorts of feelings. And now she knows why.
Don't do anything surgical, let her work it out. If she's attracted to women, she may be confused.

[Anonymous]

I would leave my DH if he reacted like that to his child in need. This is not a joke. I truly would. Using an excuse of being raised a certain way doesn’t cut it either.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a really good sign that he trusts you to tell you this. It's probably really hard to do that.

[Anonymous]

If this came as a surprise to you I have to ask:

Where the fvck were you the last 17 years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this came as a surprise to you I have to ask:

Where the fvck were you the last 17 years?

I wondered how there could not have been any prior signs or issues?

Though I guess Bruce Jenner fooled many people for years---but none of his wives. They all knew early on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this came as a surprise to you I have to ask:

Where the fvck were you the last 17 years?

See, with ROGD, it’s characterized by “Rapid Onset”, as in, it develops suddenly, and the child has previously not given any indication of any discomfort with their birth gender. So it’s highly probable this is completely new to both op and her child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If this came as a surprise to you I have to ask:

Where the fvck were you the last 17 years?

See, with ROGD, it’s characterized by “Rapid Onset”, as in, it develops suddenly, and the child has previously not given any indication of any discomfort with their birth gender. So it’s highly probable this is completely new to both op and her child.

Yeeeeeah, no.

[Anonymous]

I think the important thing is that you express love and acceptance for your child and support her by arranging a therapist for her to work with. Acceptance doesn’t mean a final call on a gender transition for her or for you, but it means if that’s what turns out to be best for her you’ll support it.

[Anonymous]

ROGD theory is absolute garbage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If this came as a surprise to you I have to ask:

Where the fvck were you the last 17 years?

I think OP said she wasn't exactly surprised. Whatever her reasoning for not being surprised, it doesn't matter. She still had something in the back of her mind.

We're waiting for DS to come out as gay. He's only 8 so we'll probably have a longish wait. We've known since he was maybe 5. If he doesn't come out, we'll be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Invite your husband to think about whether or not he would like his daughter to kill herself or leave your house and never EVER have anything to do with him ever again. Because that's what he's putting in motion by storming out.

Now, maybe he needed a while to wrap his head around this, but he just rejected his child in a huge way.

I'm reminded of back in the day when my teen cousin declared she was bisexual and had kissed a girl, and my aunt said "how nice" and not another word, and the cousin is now happily married with children.

That's teenagers for you.

See, that's a perfectly fine reaction. Screaming "NOT UNDER MY ROOF!" and stomping away is not a perfectly fine reaction. Or whatever OP's DH did.