Age not to take boy into restaurant ladies bathroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A mom, with a young girl about 4-5 years old, gave me a look at a restaurant ladies bathroom when I entered with my 4 year old boy. That mom gave me a look again when we exited the bathroom again. That made me uncomfortable. When should I stop bringing my boy into ladies bathroom? And, what is the minimum age that you would feel comfortable for your boy to go into men bathroom by himself? He still sits to potty. And one more question, when should I stop saying going to potty? Is potty this word too childish?

Well, you don’t know why she was giving you a look do you? Maybe she thought she recognized you? Who knows why she was looking at you...

[Anonymous]

My son just turned 9. He still goes with me when we are somewhere with large public restrooms or if, say, we are at a restaurant with dark bathrooms down a long hall that freak him out. We use a family restroom if there is one available. There was recently a case of a boy getting touched in the men’s room of a place we frequent and, unfortunately, we live in a dense urban neighborhood with lots of homeless and drug use. I’m even somewhat uncomfortable even using the women’s room on occasion.

Why risk something happening to my kid just because some random woman might possibly “look at me” because my son is in the women’s room with me? I’ll just look back.

As he gets older and more confident it will change, of course, but for now he’s with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son just turned 9. He still goes with me when we are somewhere with large public restrooms or if, say, we are at a restaurant with dark bathrooms down a long hall that freak him out. We use a family restroom if there is one available. There was recently a case of a boy getting touched in the men’s room of a place we frequent and, unfortunately, we live in a dense urban neighborhood with lots of homeless and drug use. I’m even somewhat uncomfortable even using the women’s room on occasion.

Why risk something happening to my kid just because some random woman might possibly “look at me” because my son is in the women’s room with me? I’ll just look back.

As he gets older and more confident it will change, of course, but for now he’s with me.

Does he stay right with you the whole time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He still sits to potty.

Three pages of comments, and no one mentions this?

My boys never pee’d sitting down. What do you mean, he “still” sits to potty? Stand him up!

It’s more hygienic. Also, more common for adult men who are tall to sit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He still sits to potty.

Three pages of comments, and no one mentions this?

My boys never pee’d sitting down. What do you mean, he “still” sits to potty? Stand him up!

In my world, men only stand to pee if it is a urinal situation. Barring having to pee in a urinal, they sit. Who wants boys spraying down their bathroom with piss?

This. What, they have to mark their territory? Have to prove they have penises? My husband sits to pee the vast majority of the time. I guess that makes him a cuck OH NOES

[Anonymous]

Depends on the place, but for a regular restaurant that is not sketch - 7 or 8. At 4 he can go anywhere with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where it starts to bother me is family places that are already busy and where I can clearly see that a dad or some male family member is present. I really dislike it when I see all siblings of both genders follow mom in while dad lounges around. I see this at family restaurants, the gym with a kids’ club, and especially the pool. It makes the women’s locker rooms and bathrooms perpetually busy, dirtier, and more crowded.

This.

I asked earlier in the thread if OP's husband or other male family member was with them. If OP responded, I didn't see the response.

A few years ago I was in Disney World and saw a mom with 3 sons in the ladies room; Oldest appeared to be around 13 and the other two late elementary school age. I saw them again outside the restroom with 3 adult men (I'm presuming Dad, Grandpa, and uncle.) This really bothered me. I am a mother of 4 sons (they are teens now) and there is no way I would have brought them into the ladies room if my husband or other male relative was there to take them into the mens. And 13 is plenty old enough to use the men's room AND supervise younger brothers, anyway.

[Anonymous]

I think around 8.

I went to Europe when kids were 4 and 6. Often women’s lines were very long and I let them go to the men’s room while I waited outside. I normally wouldn’t let them go alone but they had to go.

I recently went to a locker room where women were changing and there was a boy who around 9-10 and I did think that was odd. A boy that age should not be in a women’s locker room. I get these places are busy. 4-5yo fine. Upper elementary kid should be able to get to other side.

[Anonymous]

I must be strange. I think the woman's room is all stalls so I don't care what age the child is if a Mom is bring a son into the bathroom. It is not like we are going to the bathroom with open doors. The child is not going to be watching me do my business. My 7 year old won't go in the woman's room and he is able to go to the bathroom in the men's room solo so I let him. We do have an occasional reminder of what to do if he is uncomfortable or worried about someones behavior.

We do use the family restroom in situations that I am not comfortable, like a bathroom with multiple exits.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. My husband & baby were there, and he was taking care of the baby. It comes into habit that I am always the one taking my son to bathroom because I am the defaulted parent, maybe good point to point out that maybe next time I should ask my husband to do it instead. It didn't come into my mind that that woman may possibly see my husband was at the restaurant, and I thought that she gave me a look because she was with her young daughter at that time. Maybe she always teaches her daughter that girls goes to ladies bathroom, and boys goes to men's bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I must be strange. I think the woman's room is all stalls so I don't care what age the child is if a Mom is bring a son into the bathroom. It is not like we are going to the bathroom with open doors. The child is not going to be watching me do my business. My 7 year old won't go in the woman's room and he is able to go to the bathroom in the men's room solo so I let him. We do have an occasional reminder of what to do if he is uncomfortable or worried about someones behavior.

We do use the family restroom in situations that I am not comfortable, like a bathroom with multiple exits.

Most bathrooms that I've been in, the stall doors do not completely cover the entrance of the stall. There is a wide space on either side of the door, and it's definitely possible to see someone on the other side if you are intently looking.

[Anonymous]

Mom of two boys and I felt zero guilt and we did it for a LONG time. Of course if dh were there, he took our boys. Now my oldest is a teen and he has been taking his little brother with him for several years. It is unfortunate if a tween girl is uncomfortable, guess what? My boys were uncomfortable too. We called it the Mom's bathroom instead of the Women's bathroom. If your tween girls are uncomfortable then why don't you tell them about little boys who have been raped and murdered in bathrooms? That should help them understand that feeling uncomfortable is not as important as safety.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. My husband & baby were there, and he was taking care of the baby. It comes into habit that I am always the one taking my son to bathroom because I am the defaulted parent, maybe good point to point out that maybe next time I should ask my husband to do it instead. It didn't come into my mind that that woman may possibly see my husband was at the restaurant, and I thought that she gave me a look because she was with her young daughter at that time. Maybe she always teaches her daughter that girls goes to ladies bathroom, and boys goes to men's bathroom.

Your son is only four. If it works better for you to take him than your husband, then don't let any side eyes stop you! When your son gets older though, a natural transition will occur where your husband will start taking over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I must be strange. I think the woman's room is all stalls so I don't care what age the child is if a Mom is bring a son into the bathroom. It is not like we are going to the bathroom with open doors. The child is not going to be watching me do my business. My 7 year old won't go in the woman's room and he is able to go to the bathroom in the men's room solo so I let him. We do have an occasional reminder of what to do if he is uncomfortable or worried about someones behavior.

We do use the family restroom in situations that I am not comfortable, like a bathroom with multiple exits.

Most bathrooms that I've been in, the stall doors do not completely cover the entrance of the stall. There is a wide space on either side of the door, and it's definitely possible to see someone on the other side if you are intently looking.

Little girls crawl around in stalls just as much as little boys do. This is a non issue.

[Anonymous]

My 8 yr old goes into the men's bathroom without any issues.