Age not to take boy into restaurant ladies bathroom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By 5 or 6, he was using the men's room. Maybe not at a busy train station but at most typical bathrooms in restaurants and malls and public places. He is a boy, he knows he is a boy - I find it weird their are posters who consider their kids genderless and sexless because they are children. My boys are males and they use male restrooms.

I find it weird when I see an older boy in the women's locker rooms or bathrooms but I realize it isn't the kids fault. They have weird parents. Just like the 'my kids are kids - they aren't male or female, they have no sex or gender' posters on here. Weird people out there. The kid can't choose or control their weird parents so I as an adult can go somewhere else or ask the child to turn around if they are gawking at me (yes, I did that at a swimming pool locker room when a boy who looked 8-10 was staring at me changing). If I see any kid, male ore female peering through the cracks in the door, I will ask them to move. I had one kid (about 4-5) crawl under the stall once in a public bathroom. I told him that was rude and to leave immediately and that we don't watch people go to the bathroom.

Kids don't choose their parents. I educate where I can if there is a situation involving me so at least the kids have heard another perspective.

Of course our boys know that they're boys. And they know their sister is a girl. They know that they have penises and their sister doesn't. So what? You think little kids care about the sign on some random door?

Seriously, for someone judging other parents for being "weird" when they're really just being sane and responsible, you're very weird.

The only people who DON'T consider a small child to be sexless is a sexual predator. Fact. Oh, and perhaps a few misguided old women on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mom of 3 here, with 2 boys. I'm bringing my boys into the ladies room for the foreseeable future, probably until 8 or 9, maybe a bit later depending on the circumstances. Ten is probably too old, although in a sketchy situation I'd still do that.

In any other situation, I wouldn't let my undressing and vulnerable child be around random unknown strangers who may or may not be in various stages of undress, all behind closed doors, so I'm not doing it in this situation either.

As for people being uncomfortable with it or whatever, they just need to get over it. People have been doing the same thing for decades, and the concept of gender seems to be pretty fluid these days anyway. If someone who has lived as a man for 30 years can decide tomorrow that they identify as female and then are allowed to use the womens' bathrooms then my young child is allowed in too.

My benchmark is whether my child would be able to encounter a predator by themselves and handle it appropriately (including not being traumatized by the process). That's my concern, not what anyone else thinks.

+1,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I stopped around age 8 if it was a place like a restaurant with multiple exits, Penn station, an airport etc. I really don't care about looks from other moms. No way I'd allow a 4 year old into a mens room alone.

I would never let my 8 year old into a bathroom a penn station alone! I have a 9 year old, and it’s case by case.

The Penn Station men's room at a normal hour is really crowded, bustling with a mix of people. A 9 year old would be fine. Figuring out how the motion-activated water faucet works is the biggest issue.

I wouldn't do that in a million years.

Misandry in action.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son just turned 9. He still goes with me when we are somewhere with large public restrooms or if, say, we are at a restaurant with dark bathrooms down a long hall that freak him out. We use a family restroom if there is one available. There was recently a case of a boy getting touched in the men’s room of a place we frequent and, unfortunately, we live in a dense urban neighborhood with lots of homeless and drug use. I’m even somewhat uncomfortable even using the women’s room on occasion.

Why risk something happening to my kid just because some random woman might possibly “look at me” because my son is in the women’s room with me? I’ll just look back.

As he gets older and more confident it will change, of course, but for now he’s with me.

Does he stay right with you the whole time?

Sometimes shares a handicapped stall with me; sometimes we each use our own.

[Anonymous]

8 ish but honestly I don’t really care that much in a restroom. I mostly feel bad for older boys in there, they are probably dying of embarrassment. And have one of those nervous wreck paranoid mothers.

But for the love of all things holy, no boys over the age of 5 in the changing room at the pool. It’s rude and they stare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 ish but honestly I don’t really care that much in a restroom. I mostly feel bad for older boys in there, they are probably dying of embarrassment. And have one of those nervous wreck paranoid mothers.

But for the love of all things holy, no boys over the age of 5 in the changing room at the pool. It’s rude and they stare.

They don't stare.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, they do. Sometimes.

You can still make justifications for making other people deal with it, but you're not going to make other people pretend for you that it doesn't happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:8 ish but honestly I don’t really care that much in a restroom. I mostly feel bad for older boys in there, they are probably dying of embarrassment. And have one of those nervous wreck paranoid mothers.

But for the love of all things holy, no boys over the age of 5 in the changing room at the pool. It’s rude and they stare.

They don't stare.

They do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few reasons why:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADF1YlYyiSA

https://www.news4jax.com/news/2015/08/22/man-arrested-in-mcdonalds-bathroom-assault-2/

https://komonews.com/news/local/young-boy-sexually-assaulted-in-restaurant-bathroom

https://www.foxnews.com/us/sex-offender-who-tried-to-infect-kids-with-hiv-accused-in-attack-on-oregon-boy

https://www.jacksonville.com/article/20150821/NEWS/801251611

Another more recent

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-man-rapes-girl-inside-mcdonalds-bathroom-in-oklahoma-20190719-y5aoxylwlbarnhrmggqp5o7zza-story.html

[Anonymous]

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/sexless


In regards to the posts about considering a small child to be sexless in the opposite restroom, I'm pretty sure definitions 2 and 3 are what are meant by people, not actually the first. But because of 2 and 3 the child is to be looked at as not really having a "defined sex" by any adults in there, therefore why the children can use the opposite restroom. Hope the way I've explained it makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few reasons why:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADF1YlYyiSA

https://www.news4jax.com/news/2015/08/22/man-arrested-in-mcdonalds-bathroom-assault-2/

https://komonews.com/news/local/young-boy-sexually-assaulted-in-restaurant-bathroom

https://www.foxnews.com/us/sex-offender-who-tried-to-infect-kids-with-hiv-accused-in-attack-on-oregon-boy

https://www.jacksonville.com/article/20150821/NEWS/801251611

Another more recent

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-man-rapes-girl-inside-mcdonalds-bathroom-in-oklahoma-20190719-y5aoxylwlbarnhrmggqp5o7zza-story.html

Again, these things happen to adults as well.

Does your husband bring his mommy every time he has to go pee at a restaurant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A few reasons why:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADF1YlYyiSA

https://www.news4jax.com/news/2015/08/22/man-arrested-in-mcdonalds-bathroom-assault-2/

https://komonews.com/news/local/young-boy-sexually-assaulted-in-restaurant-bathroom

https://www.foxnews.com/us/sex-offender-who-tried-to-infect-kids-with-hiv-accused-in-attack-on-oregon-boy

https://www.jacksonville.com/article/20150821/NEWS/801251611

From just one of those:
“Sunday, police said he pulled the 10-year-old boy into the fast-food restaurant bathroom and locked the door.“

So your examples are BS. Your own examples show that bad things happen even when the kid was not using the bathroom at all. Of course bad things happen but it’s not common enough to justify this level of paranoia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A few reasons why:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADF1YlYyiSA

https://www.news4jax.com/news/2015/08/22/man-arrested-in-mcdonalds-bathroom-assault-2/

https://komonews.com/news/local/young-boy-sexually-assaulted-in-restaurant-bathroom

https://www.foxnews.com/us/sex-offender-who-tried-to-infect-kids-with-hiv-accused-in-attack-on-oregon-boy

https://www.jacksonville.com/article/20150821/NEWS/801251611

Another more recent

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/ny-man-rapes-girl-inside-mcdonalds-bathroom-in-oklahoma-20190719-y5aoxylwlbarnhrmggqp5o7zza-story.html

Again, these things happen to adults as well.

Does your husband bring his mommy every time he has to go pee at a restaurant?

You don't see the difference between an adult's ability to handle a potential crime versus an unattended child?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:8 ish but honestly I don’t really care that much in a restroom. I mostly feel bad for older boys in there, they are probably dying of embarrassment. And have one of those nervous wreck paranoid mothers.

But for the love of all things holy, no boys over the age of 5 in the changing room at the pool. It’s rude and they stare.

Agree. Their mothers are blind to their actions and reactions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since women’s bathrooms have doors on the stalls, why would anyone care about a young boy in there with his mother.

This. We can debate pool locker rooms all day but a woman’s bathroom?! I don’t care if you have your 10 year old on there.