Afraid I will get evicted because of my 4-year-old's tantrums -- what are my rights?

[Anonymous]

https://www.wired.com/2013/12/japanese-cardboard-shed/

[Anonymous]

This really isn't a normal thing for a 4 year old.

Don't get me wrong, I was a single Mom with a 3 year old that got noise complaints for WALKING on my kitchen floors so I get unreasonable people. That's said, you need to figure out your parenting issues because it's not normal to be having daily? behavioral issues with a 4 year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the person suggesting we move - is that reasonable? Moving is very expensive and time-consuming, and as I said, we live here specifically because it is across the street from a very good elementary school. Also, the apartment below ours is smaller, and we are already crammed with 1 kid (and one one the way) in a 2-bedroom.

I've contacted a lawyer with DC tenant's rights and I'll see what I hear. Thanks for everyone's ideas so far.

Having children is expensive and time consuming - you didn't think about this before getting pregnant again?

Your neighbor has a right to have peace in their home. You have a right to have children. Your do NOT have a right to infringe on another person's peace.

You move, or find other ways to deal with your child. The poster who suggested taking her to the car/outside had a good one. Just take her immediately out of the environment if she is disruptive.

[Anonymous]

OP here : As for why we decided to live in an apartment - it is all we can afford. We already pay $1,700 a month for childcare, and we want to send our daughter to the school across the street. We simply cannot afford a stand alone house or a row house in this neighborhood or any neighborhood with decent public schools.


_____



If you know that "kids are kids" (said by lazy, entitled parents everywhere) then why did you decide to live in an apartment? I'm so shocked at the entitlement of some people. We held off on starting a family until we could move to a house for them. Even when it was a small house, and we had to give up a lot else in life to get it. It's what decent people do. Your reproduction decisions shouldn't constitute a societal problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This really isn't a normal thing for a 4 year old.

Don't get me wrong, I was a single Mom with a 3 year old that got noise complaints for WALKING on my kitchen floors so I get unreasonable people. That's said, you need to figure out your parenting issues because it's not normal to be having daily? behavioral issues with a 4 year old.

It’s not normal for your kid, it might be for hers. It sounds stressful either way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here : As for why we decided to live in an apartment - it is all we can afford. We already pay $1,700 a month for childcare, and we want to send our daughter to the school across the street. We simply cannot afford a stand alone house or a row house in this neighborhood or any neighborhood with decent public schools.


_____



If you know that "kids are kids" (said by lazy, entitled parents everywhere) then why did you decide to live in an apartment? I'm so shocked at the entitlement of some people. We held off on starting a family until we could move to a house for them. Even when it was a small house, and we had to give up a lot else in life to get it. It's what decent people do. Your reproduction decisions shouldn't constitute a societal problem.

We have found the Becky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4-year-old has been stomping, running and having temper tantrums, and I'm getting a lot of complaints from my downstairs neighbor, who has been dramatically complaining about to landlord. We are renters in a very old building with thin walls and floors. We already have carpet covering 80% of the floors. What's especially hard is what to do about time out - we put our daughter in her room and she screams at the top of her lungs. I know this must be hard for our neighbor, but I don't know what to do. The landlord has suggested taking her outside to the car when she's like that, but it's the middle of winter, and I can't imagine logistics of getting her and myself bundled up to do that.

I am trying my very best to keep her from being so loud, and when things escalate, I feel my only trump card is time out - which just makes the noise worse.

I'm worried we will get evicted, and I'm seeing conflicting information online. Anyone know what my rights are here, as a renter in DC?

Other stuff:We live right across the street from a very good elementary school, and it's too expensive to own a home or rent a row house in this area. Also, we are about to have a baby, which is obviously going to make the noise 10x worse.
The vast majority of the noise is during the day, so NOT during our "quiet hours" of 10pm-7am.

You need to get her screaming under control. Can you imagine how much stress it’s causing for everyone? Why is she screaming? Are you her only caregiver?

[Anonymous]

OP, I lived in an old building with thin walls. It is your responsibility to be a good neighbor, and to teach DD the importance of this.

Until you find a solution to the tantrums, when your DD screams, she belongs outside. When my daughter screamed, I would tell her that she can be upset but I won't let her disturb the neighbors. If she didn't let up, I'd take her over my shoulder and walked a circle around the block until she cried it out. At first she's be hollering, but then calmed down and we finished the walk with me making an effort to understand her.. Rain or shine, your DD needs to be outside when she is screaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand your frustration, but you seem more concerned about your legal rights than addressing the behavioral/discipline issues with your daughter.

And of course a baby is going to cry - your neighbor is out of luck there. But a 4 year old is old enough to understand that she has an element of control, and it is up to you to get through to her.

This.

[Anonymous]

OP, my kid was a tantrumer and Time Outs were a huge battle - they ramped up the crazy. They do not work for all kids, and there are other things you can do to help your child learn to behave. I liked Alfie Khon’s Unconditional Parenting for this difficult age. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I have a 4 year old and I think you’re not disciplining effectively. Time outs are out of style too. Time ins are what work. We take our kids to another room and talk about their misbehavior. There isn’t daily tantruming. If there is at 4, I think something is wrong.

[Anonymous]

What are the tantrums about?
What time does she sleep?

[Anonymous]

Is your DD actually attending the school across the street already? If so, how is her behavior at school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here : As for why we decided to live in an apartment - it is all we can afford. We already pay $1,700 a month for childcare, and we want to send our daughter to the school across the street. We simply cannot afford a stand alone house or a row house in this neighborhood or any neighborhood with decent public schools.


_____



If you know that "kids are kids" (said by lazy, entitled parents everywhere) then why did you decide to live in an apartment? I'm so shocked at the entitlement of some people. We held off on starting a family until we could move to a house for them. Even when it was a small house, and we had to give up a lot else in life to get it. It's what decent people do. Your reproduction decisions shouldn't constitute a societal problem.

What is wrong with you?! Can you conceive of people who cannot afford a house, but are hard-working and loving parents?! Thin apartment walls are hardly a societal problem, but outrageous housing prices, stagnant salaries and terrible school districts are.

[Anonymous]

OP here - She does not tantrum daily, and maybe "tantrum" is too strong a word. It's more of a general noisiness on the weekends and on weeknights. Small things set her off, and she has been especially moody since we explained to her about baby #2. As for sleep, we start getting her ready for bed around 7:30, but she does not actually fall asleep til after 9:30 usually.

I will try the "time ins."