Afraid I will get evicted because of my 4-year-old's tantrums -- what are my rights?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's always neat to see people come into these threads to assure the OP that they cannot get evicted because there is a child involved. Nope, luckily for the rest of us, noise is noise and you can indeed get evicted for it. The source does not matter.

Control the kid/screaming or move, those are the choices..there are only two. People that live in apartments have to accept that they can not make unlimited noise anymore.

Everybody always talks about kid being loud but I have a 97-year old living upstairs who screams day and night because she thinks the caregivers are killing her. I should be able to have her convicted, right? Or we are going to decide that at 97, it is what it is and there is really nothing much the neighbors can do but live with the screaming.
Maybe they medicate her, but OP also works on keeping the child quite. Can the lady be evicted (noise is a noise) or a family with a child? Neither, at least in DC. Both have to live somewhere and neither is making then noise on purpose.
In my building security used to be called on every noise- including somebody walking with a walker. This ended when HUD was contacted.

No one said anything about anyone "being convicted". You should really try to dial the hyberbole down a notch if you want your posts to be taken seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The tantrums likely aren’t regularly happening during “quiet hours”, right? Your child should be sleeping during that time.

You could try the car thing: keep a blanket in the car, put on fleeces and hats, and run the heat.

New poster. Cramming a tantruming child into fleece or coat and a hat, while the kid bucks and struggles, will make a tantrum just get worse. And someone passing by is going to see OP trying to shove a fighting, crying child into a car and probably will call the authorities....

Using a car as the tantrum spot or time out location also runs the risk of making the child eventually associate being in the car with being angry and unhappy, and that is NOT an association you want a child to have with the car that must take that kid to preschool, to the doctor, etc.

This is also why time out spots should not be a child's own bedroom. Either they'll start to think of the bedroom negatively, or conversely, they'll be glad to get time outs because time out equals bedroom time, and the bedroom is full of their toys etc. Neither of those is what a parent wants from time outs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The tantrums likely aren’t regularly happening during “quiet hours”, right? Your child should be sleeping during that time.

You could try the car thing: keep a blanket in the car, put on fleeces and hats, and run the heat.

New poster. Cramming a tantruming child into fleece or coat and a hat, while the kid bucks and struggles, will make a tantrum just get worse. And someone passing by is going to see OP trying to shove a fighting, crying child into a car and probably will call the authorities....

Using a car as the tantrum spot or time out location also runs the risk of making the child eventually associate being in the car with being angry and unhappy, and that is NOT an association you want a child to have with the car that must take that kid to preschool, to the doctor, etc.

This is also why time out spots should not be a child's own bedroom. Either they'll start to think of the bedroom negatively, or conversely, they'll be glad to get time outs because time out equals bedroom time, and the bedroom is full of their toys etc. Neither of those is what a parent wants from time outs.

Did you miss the part about OP living with her child (and another to come) in a tiny apartment? She refuses to move or accept that it’s not enough space for her children. Where else do you think timeouts can be, if not a car or bedroom?

[Anonymous]

Try 123 Magic OP.

Noise is a part of apartment living- I lived in an older building when I was single and at one point had neighbors with screaming toddlers. Also had an older neighbor who was half deaf and always played his music, TV so so loud (he was the only one I ever complained about because he'd be watching Fox News at midnight). The objective should be to minimize to the extent possible, not eliminate all noise. For your sanity you need to get the situation with your daughter a bit more under control before the second child comes along.

[Anonymous]

One good fix for the stomping and running is a big pair of fuzzy slippers. We live in a townhouse with two young kids and if they're inside, they have their slippers on - the kind with soft squishy soles with rubberized dots. It has 100% improved that aspect of the general noise at least.

[Anonymous]

I cannot deal with noise like that. I refuse to cause anyone that kind of pain. Why are ya'll all squeezed into that apt anyway? Just for a school? Other schools can be just as good but maybe you could actually afford to live there. Try that. Landlords have the right to remove you if they want to anyways.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are a kind person to worry and want to fix it. It is the right thing to do to be aware of it and try to mitigate it as best as possible. That said, to a certain extent, it is a part of group living. People need to realize that when living in an apartment in a city that you are going to have to deal with people noises. My good friend has such loud neighbors above her that she know's the entire family's routine and can repeat their conversations and they refuse to do anything about it. At least you are trying. Kids go through phases and they always pass. And just because one child acts this way at that age doesn't me you second will be the same as well. My two totally aren't. I had one screamer and one hitter. I don't know how close to 5 your son is, but mine is about to turn that age and while active he barely pulls anything tantrum like anymore...maybe only a bit when over tired which can be avoided. I wouldn't be concerned about being evicted but if you are concerned about the behavior or that it isn't stopping go see a child psychologist to get some tips...or watch Daniel Tiger. That always helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try 123 Magic OP.

Noise is a part of apartment living- I lived in an older building when I was single and at one point had neighbors with screaming toddlers. Also had an older neighbor who was half deaf and always played his music, TV so so loud (he was the only one I ever complained about because he'd be watching Fox News at midnight). The objective should be to minimize to the extent possible, not eliminate all noise. For your sanity you need to get the situation with your daughter a bit more under control before the second child comes along.

This. Also for your daughter's well-being.

Also: It used to be that 2BR for 2 parents (or 1) + 2 kids was not considered "tiny"!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try 123 Magic OP.

Noise is a part of apartment living- I lived in an older building when I was single and at one point had neighbors with screaming toddlers. Also had an older neighbor who was half deaf and always played his music, TV so so loud (he was the only one I ever complained about because he'd be watching Fox News at midnight). The objective should be to minimize to the extent possible, not eliminate all noise. For your sanity you need to get the situation with your daughter a bit more under control before the second child comes along.

This. Also for your daughter's well-being.

Also: It used to be that 2BR for 2 parents (or 1) + 2 kids was not considered "tiny"!

+1. People here are so spoiled. Families live in apartments all over the world. Those suggesting they need to go buy a bigger place with more space, do you hear yourselves? Do you not realize that DMV real estate prices are out of reach for a sizable chunk of the population?

And unless I missed it, OP did not mention the school or neighborhood. There are plenty of suburban schools (including those that many posters on here would scoff at) with apartment buildings within walking distance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The tantrums likely aren’t regularly happening during “quiet hours”, right? Your child should be sleeping during that time.

You could try the car thing: keep a blanket in the car, put on fleeces and hats, and run the heat.

New poster. Cramming a tantruming child into fleece or coat and a hat, while the kid bucks and struggles, will make a tantrum just get worse. And someone passing by is going to see OP trying to shove a fighting, crying child into a car and probably will call the authorities....

Using a car as the tantrum spot or time out location also runs the risk of making the child eventually associate being in the car with being angry and unhappy, and that is NOT an association you want a child to have with the car that must take that kid to preschool, to the doctor, etc.

This is also why time out spots should not be a child's own bedroom. Either they'll start to think of the bedroom negatively, or conversely, they'll be glad to get time outs because time out equals bedroom time, and the bedroom is full of their toys etc. Neither of those is what a parent wants from time outs.

Did you miss the part about OP living with her child (and another to come) in a tiny apartment? She refuses to move or accept that it’s not enough space for her children. Where else do you think timeouts can be, if not a car or bedroom?

Hallway. Even a small apartment probably has one of those, no? Mom sits silently with the kid if kid won't stay put. No interaction, though. No toys or distractions in the bland hall. Very short time outs at this age . And it beats dragging a yelling child outside, where the tantrum would get heard by the whole apartment complex, not just the one adjoining neighbor.

Also: OP is pregnant so maybe hauling her fighting toddler outdoors isn't exactly healthy for mom to be doing. Certainly it will be less of an option with each passing week as OP gets bigger. The "take DC to the car" option wouldn't work for long even if it did make sense.

OP really needs to find distractions that can break the tantrum cycle and divert DC enough to distract DC before tantrums get full-blown and super loud. If she's going to remain in an apartment she needs some techniques I'm sure exist in the many parenting books parents talk about on DCUM.

She and her spouse do need to get a handle on noise sooner rather than later, but the neighbor also fails to realize this is apartment living and most of all, this will pass. Those posting here about how OP just needs to move are, as a PP noted, spoiled. Families with young children live in apartments all over the world and right here in this area too. Unless the child is disrupting the limited, official quiet hours regularly, the neighbor is not being a neighbor at all. Once the baby is here, this neighbor is going to kick up a fuss if the baby cries in the night like...a baby.

It occurs to me that if the OP had posted on a DCUM schools thread about how she was staying put in a difficult living situation in order to ensure her kids the best possible school in a few years' time, on a thread like that, the responses likely would tell her she was doing the right thing and that location at the cost of space and annoying neighbors is worth being in the boundary for a good school, etc. But here she's getting "Just move already!" attitude. If she could move to a single family home in this school district, surely she would. If she could move to a SFH in another decent district, surely she would. Wagging fingers at her because she won't move is not helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you are a kind person to worry and want to fix it. It is the right thing to do to be aware of it and try to mitigate it as best as possible. That said, to a certain extent, it is a part of group living. People need to realize that when living in an apartment in a city that you are going to have to deal with people noises. My good friend has such loud neighbors above her that she know's the entire family's routine and can repeat their conversations and they refuse to do anything about it. At least you are trying. Kids go through phases and they always pass. And just because one child acts this way at that age doesn't me you second will be the same as well. My two totally aren't. I had one screamer and one hitter. I don't know how close to 5 your son is, but mine is about to turn that age and while active he barely pulls anything tantrum like anymore...maybe only a bit when over tired which can be avoided. I wouldn't be concerned about being evicted but if you are concerned about the behavior or that it isn't stopping go see a child psychologist to get some tips...or watch Daniel Tiger. That always helps!

OP wants to fix it because she is worried about being evicted, not because she really cares about her downstairs neighbors or parenting efficiently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot deal with noise like that. I refuse to cause anyone that kind of pain. Why are ya'll all squeezed into that apt anyway? Just for a school? Other schools can be just as good but maybe you could actually afford to live there. Try that. Landlords have the right to remove you if they want to anyways.

It’s a magical school that will make or break the life of OP’s child. No other school will do! Why are you trying to get her to leave this apartment across from the only amazing school? Is it because you are plotting to take over the apartment yourself so you can send your child to THE PERFECT SCHOOL?

[Anonymous]

OP, you may not be evicted but you might not have your lease renewed. Plan for that possibility.

You may also want to consider the possibility that your downstairs neighbor may look into a civil suit against you. They may be recording and noting all the times your child is screaming and disruptive. And may elicit other tenants to do the same.

Bottom line in communal living is what is reasonable. A reasonable amount of noise from children is expected. That may include some running, yelling, occasional tantrums and crying.

But SCREAMING should never be considered the norm.

[Anonymous]

Is OP still here? Just wonder what you have decided. Are you staying in your current apt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you may not be evicted but you might not have your lease renewed. Plan for that possibility.

You may also want to consider the possibility that your downstairs neighbor may look into a civil suit against you. They may be recording and noting all the times your child is screaming and disruptive. And may elicit other tenants to do the same.

Bottom line in communal living is what is reasonable. A reasonable amount of noise from children is expected. That may include some running, yelling, occasional tantrums and crying.

But SCREAMING should never be considered the norm.

DC leases don't have to be renewed, they convert to month-to-month automatically.

It is very difficult to evict a tenant in DC who pays on time. The landlord's choices are very limited, and there is no way that a landlord-tenant judge will side with a landlord against a mother with a newborn and a small child. People who say you can get evicted have never set foot inside that court.