Mom insisting on sleepovers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they feel comfortable having a sleepover with their own grandmother? How sad is that? Why don't you ask them what's wrong that is making them uncomfortable? It would be a shame if they didn't get the chance to form a strong bond and lasting memories of sleeping over at their grandparents' house IMO.

OP, it hasn't even crossed your mind to ask them why?

Not OP — Sounds, at a minimum, that Grandma is pushy and unconcerned with the children’s preferences. Is that not enough?

Um, no, it's not enough. You don't think it's of any value that these kids have memories of sleepovers at their grandmother's house because she's pushy? Jesus. Talk about delicate flowers.

Sounds like great memories! All those creepy nights staying at grandma’s house with her boyfriend and his mentally disturbed grandchild. Sooo much fun! I’m sure the kids will look back on those visits very fondly.

OP, your kids are going to hate you (and grandma) for not protecting them and putting them in this situation.

OP already said NOTHING HAPPENED. They just don't want to go. How about if OP and her DH wanted to go away and leave the kids with their grandmother? Would it then be okay for them to say, no, I don't want to go there because grandma is too pushy? If you can't love a variety of people who are in your own family, how can people be expected to care about others in the world? Seriously, being pushy is no reason not to do these sleepovers. Maybe it would be a good experience for them to be around someone pushy....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they feel comfortable having a sleepover with their own grandmother? How sad is that? Why don't you ask them what's wrong that is making them uncomfortable? It would be a shame if they didn't get the chance to form a strong bond and lasting memories of sleeping over at their grandparents' house IMO.

OP, it hasn't even crossed your mind to ask them why?

Not OP — Sounds, at a minimum, that Grandma is pushy and unconcerned with the children’s preferences. Is that not enough?

Um, no, it's not enough. You don't think it's of any value that these kids have memories of sleepovers at their grandmother's house because she's pushy? Jesus. Talk about delicate flowers.

Sounds like great memories! All those creepy nights staying at grandma’s house with her boyfriend and his mentally disturbed grandchild. Sooo much fun! I’m sure the kids will look back on those visits very fondly.

OP, your kids are going to hate you (and grandma) for not protecting them and putting them in this situation.

OP already said NOTHING HAPPENED. They just don't want to go. How about if OP and her DH wanted to go away and leave the kids with their grandmother? Would it then be okay for them to say, no, I don't want to go there because grandma is too pushy? If you can't love a variety of people who are in your own family, how can people be expected to care about others in the world? Seriously, being pushy is no reason not to do these sleepovers. Maybe it would be a good experience for them to be around someone pushy....

NP. You sound pretty pushy, PP.

I would not require my kids to attend those. It's important for kids to know that you respect them. And the bribery is beyond the pale. I'd just let the contact drop off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Why don't they feel comfortable having a sleepover with their own grandmother? How sad is that? Why don't you ask them what's wrong that is making them uncomfortable? It would be a shame if they didn't get the chance to form a strong bond and lasting memories of sleeping over at their grandparents' house IMO.

OP, it hasn't even crossed your mind to ask them why?


Not OP — Sounds, at a minimum, that Grandma is pushy and unconcerned with the children’s preferences. Is that not enough?


Um, no, it's not enough. You don't think it's of any value that these kids have memories of sleepovers at their grandmother's house because she's pushy? Jesus. Talk about delicate flowers.


Sounds like great memories! All those creepy nights staying at grandma’s house with her boyfriend and his mentally disturbed grandchild. Sooo much fun! I’m sure the kids will look back on those visits very fondly.

OP, your kids are going to hate you (and grandma) for not protecting them and putting them in this situation.


OP already said NOTHING HAPPENED. They just don't want to go. How about if OP and her DH wanted to go away and leave the kids with their grandmother? Would it then be okay for them to say, no, I don't want to go there because grandma is too pushy? If you can't love a variety of people who are in your own family, how can people be expected to care about others in the world? Seriously, being pushy is no reason not to do these sleepovers. Maybe it would be a good experience for them to be around someone pushy....


NP. You sound pretty pushy, PP.

I would not require my kids to attend those. It's important for kids to know that you respect them. And the bribery is beyond the pale. I'd just let the contact drop off.

+1000 The PP sounds incredibly self centered. Pushy, entitled people always can not fathom why someone does not want to do what they want. The more they push the more they end up pushing everyone away. The kids will end up having a far better relationship with grandma if their mom sets boundaries with grandma and respects them. If the OP forces to them to go, they aren't going to magically decide that sleep overs with grandma are delightful. They'll simple beg harder the next time not to go and do whatever they can to avoid her in other instances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they feel comfortable having a sleepover with their own grandmother? How sad is that? Why don't you ask them what's wrong that is making them uncomfortable? It would be a shame if they didn't get the chance to form a strong bond and lasting memories of sleeping over at their grandparents' house IMO.

OP, it hasn't even crossed your mind to ask them why?

Not OP — Sounds, at a minimum, that Grandma is pushy and unconcerned with the children’s preferences. Is that not enough?

Um, no, it's not enough. You don't think it's of any value that these kids have memories of sleepovers at their grandmother's house because she's pushy? Jesus. Talk about delicate flowers.

Sounds like great memories! All those creepy nights staying at grandma’s house with her boyfriend and his mentally disturbed grandchild. Sooo much fun! I’m sure the kids will look back on those visits very fondly.

OP, your kids are going to hate you (and grandma) for not protecting them and putting them in this situation.

OP already said NOTHING HAPPENED. They just don't want to go. How about if OP and her DH wanted to go away and leave the kids with their grandmother? Would it then be okay for them to say, no, I don't want to go there because grandma is too pushy? If you can't love a variety of people who are in your own family, how can people be expected to care about others in the world? Seriously, being pushy is no reason not to do these sleepovers. Maybe it would be a good experience for them to be around someone pushy....

NP. You sound pretty pushy, PP.

I would not require my kids to attend those. It's important for kids to know that you respect them. And the bribery is beyond the pale. I'd just let the contact drop off.

Whaaat? It's the grandmother, not an annoying, pushy mom from school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they feel comfortable having a sleepover with their own grandmother? How sad is that? Why don't you ask them what's wrong that is making them uncomfortable? It would be a shame if they didn't get the chance to form a strong bond and lasting memories of sleeping over at their grandparents' house IMO.

OP, it hasn't even crossed your mind to ask them why?

Not OP — Sounds, at a minimum, that Grandma is pushy and unconcerned with the children’s preferences. Is that not enough?

Um, no, it's not enough. You don't think it's of any value that these kids have memories of sleepovers at their grandmother's house because she's pushy? Jesus. Talk about delicate flowers.

Sounds like great memories! All those creepy nights staying at grandma’s house with her boyfriend and his mentally disturbed grandchild. Sooo much fun! I’m sure the kids will look back on those visits very fondly.

OP, your kids are going to hate you (and grandma) for not protecting them and putting them in this situation.

OP already said NOTHING HAPPENED. They just don't want to go. How about if OP and her DH wanted to go away and leave the kids with their grandmother? Would it then be okay for them to say, no, I don't want to go there because grandma is too pushy? If you can't love a variety of people who are in your own family, how can people be expected to care about others in the world? Seriously, being pushy is no reason not to do these sleepovers. Maybe it would be a good experience for them to be around someone pushy....

NP. You sound pretty pushy, PP.

I would not require my kids to attend those. It's important for kids to know that you respect them. And the bribery is beyond the pale. I'd just let the contact drop off.

Whaaat? It's the grandmother, not an annoying, pushy mom from school.

Guilt tripping, bribery, manipulation... these are all types of emotional abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't they feel comfortable having a sleepover with their own grandmother? How sad is that? Why don't you ask them what's wrong that is making them uncomfortable? It would be a shame if they didn't get the chance to form a strong bond and lasting memories of sleeping over at their grandparents' house IMO.

OP, it hasn't even crossed your mind to ask them why?

Not OP — Sounds, at a minimum, that Grandma is pushy and unconcerned with the children’s preferences. Is that not enough?

Um, no, it's not enough. You don't think it's of any value that these kids have memories of sleepovers at their grandmother's house because she's pushy? Jesus. Talk about delicate flowers.

Sounds like great memories! All those creepy nights staying at grandma’s house with her boyfriend and his mentally disturbed grandchild. Sooo much fun! I’m sure the kids will look back on those visits very fondly.

OP, your kids are going to hate you (and grandma) for not protecting them and putting them in this situation.

OP already said NOTHING HAPPENED. They just don't want to go. How about if OP and her DH wanted to go away and leave the kids with their grandmother? Would it then be okay for them to say, no, I don't want to go there because grandma is too pushy? If you can't love a variety of people who are in your own family, how can people be expected to care about others in the world? Seriously, being pushy is no reason not to do these sleepovers. Maybe it would be a good experience for them to be around someone pushy....

NP. You sound pretty pushy, PP.

I would not require my kids to attend those. It's important for kids to know that you respect them. And the bribery is beyond the pale. I'd just let the contact drop off.

Whaaat? It's the grandmother, not an annoying, pushy mom from school.

Someone is obtuse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take her yourself. Problem solved. Tell your mom kids don't want to sleep over but she can see them during the day.

Do not say this.

[Anonymous]

If the girls don't want to sleep over, something happened. Your mother is pushy and unconcerned with their preferences as previously stated or else she or the boyfriend are doing something to make them uncomfortable. Either way, don't cave and believe them if they say something happened. Even if it is just bad vibes, it just means something just might not have happened yet. Your girls are at the age most of the abuse survivers I know began to be abused and it was most often by the boyfriend or step-dad.

[Anonymous]

Just tell her no. They are older and the time for sleepovers has passed. I would not mention they don't want to go, it could be something small (don't like grandma's food, house smells funny) or they could feel uncomfortable for other reasons.

Take them to visit for the day.