Sister in law very different parenting style - adjust or hold the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP needs everybody at a party to follow her kids rules because she can’t parent her own kids unless everybody is following her rules?

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

I hate this too. My girlfriend’s kids are constantly pulling out juice boxes and my kids want them. The oldest is 10 and has a double chin. Wonder why.

[Anonymous]

We have friends of 13 years like this. We vacation with them, spend holidays with them. I explain very directly that The Smith Family has different rules and does thing different, so be prepared to continue to follow our rules. I've said in front of the family " weve talked about this, different families, different rules" I've also asked my friend to please not offer my kids candy. She complies maybe 80% of the time.

Her kids have the worst diet I have seen in my life. However, that doesn't mean my kids need to. Just like her kids don't need to eat vegetables like mine do. It's not too hard to manage. I just clearly set my kids expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate this too. My girlfriend’s kids are constantly pulling out juice boxes and my kids want them. The oldest is 10 and has a double chin. Wonder why.

Ugh. You’re disgusting to talk about a child like that. Karma will get you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have friends of 13 years like this. We vacation with them, spend holidays with them. I explain very directly that The Smith Family has different rules and does thing different, so be prepared to continue to follow our rules. I've said in front of the family " weve talked about this, different families, different rules" I've also asked my friend to please not offer my kids candy. She complies maybe 80% of the time.

Her kids have the worst diet I have seen in my life. However, that doesn't mean my kids need to. Just like her kids don't need to eat vegetables like mine do. It's not too hard to manage. I just clearly set my kids expectations.

Incidentally, we have the same healthier diet in our family...but you sound insufferable. I’m surprised you have friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 17 & 14. We have always held firm with no juice in the house, including orange juice. Definitely no soda. The choices at meals have always been milk or water.

That said, what they have outside of the house is up for grabs. Sometimes we've gone to a restaurant and had a splash of juice in the water. When they went to soccer games, someone would bring juice boxes. Or when they've gone to their grandparents' house, they have juice. We just went out to dinner last night, and they asked for water. Sometimes they'll ask for lemonade. It's just not a big deal.

We also don't do cereal other than plain Cheerios or Go Lean Kashi. It's always a big treat when they go to my parents where they were introduced to "rainbow Cheerios" aka Fruit Loops.

Never have my kids "freaked out." They've never begged or whined for these foods at home. The adults do the shopping and make those decisions. There is always a rich selection of fruits. Yes, we've always had ice cream, but it's something after dinner. When they're out, they have other options.

Keep your rules at home. Don't judge others, including your SIL. We're all just doing the best we can.

My mother is like you. It made me fat.

My mother was like her. We are 4 kids. None of us are fat. All of us are thin and don't eat crap. To this day I cannot drink a soda. When you grow up eating a palate of healthy foods, low sugar, low salt, the SAD diet is overwhelming and frankly gross.

You are an irresponsible parent if you don't try to combat the SAD diet.

Fat adults and fat kids aren't running around this country, like were the real life characters I. WALL-E because parents are teachingnthrn good eating habits. You all are huge and sick because your mental health issues and your complete ignorance when it comes to diet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friends of 13 years like this. We vacation with them, spend holidays with them. I explain very directly that The Smith Family has different rules and does thing different, so be prepared to continue to follow our rules. I've said in front of the family " weve talked about this, different families, different rules" I've also asked my friend to please not offer my kids candy. She complies maybe 80% of the time.

Her kids have the worst diet I have seen in my life. However, that doesn't mean my kids need to. Just like her kids don't need to eat vegetables like mine do. It's not too hard to manage. I just clearly set my kids expectations.

Incidentally, we have the same healthier diet in our family...but you sound insufferable. I’m surprised you have friends.

Yes, we have lots of them. Just hosted 25 people for Friendsgiving. We also are torn for NYE with 3 invites for parties. Sometimes our social life is too full and can be exhausting.

No shortage of friends here despite feeding my kids a healthy diet. Sorry to disappoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 17 & 14. We have always held firm with no juice in the house, including orange juice. Definitely no soda. The choices at meals have always been milk or water.

That said, what they have outside of the house is up for grabs. Sometimes we've gone to a restaurant and had a splash of juice in the water. When they went to soccer games, someone would bring juice boxes. Or when they've gone to their grandparents' house, they have juice. We just went out to dinner last night, and they asked for water. Sometimes they'll ask for lemonade. It's just not a big deal.

We also don't do cereal other than plain Cheerios or Go Lean Kashi. It's always a big treat when they go to my parents where they were introduced to "rainbow Cheerios" aka Fruit Loops.

Never have my kids "freaked out." They've never begged or whined for these foods at home. The adults do the shopping and make those decisions. There is always a rich selection of fruits. Yes, we've always had ice cream, but it's something after dinner. When they're out, they have other options.

Keep your rules at home. Don't judge others, including your SIL. We're all just doing the best we can.

Seriously? It's orange juice, not hard liquor.

That was my reaction too...a splash??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 17 & 14. We have always held firm with no juice in the house, including orange juice. Definitely no soda. The choices at meals have always been milk or water.

That said, what they have outside of the house is up for grabs. Sometimes we've gone to a restaurant and had a splash of juice in the water. When they went to soccer games, someone would bring juice boxes. Or when they've gone to their grandparents' house, they have juice. We just went out to dinner last night, and they asked for water. Sometimes they'll ask for lemonade. It's just not a big deal.

We also don't do cereal other than plain Cheerios or Go Lean Kashi. It's always a big treat when they go to my parents where they were introduced to "rainbow Cheerios" aka Fruit Loops.

Never have my kids "freaked out." They've never begged or whined for these foods at home. The adults do the shopping and make those decisions. There is always a rich selection of fruits. Yes, we've always had ice cream, but it's something after dinner. When they're out, they have other options.

Keep your rules at home. Don't judge others, including your SIL. We're all just doing the best we can.

Seriously? It's orange juice, not hard liquor.

That was my reaction too...a splash??

How would you even order that? If I were the server, I’d keep a straight face until out of sight, then laugh my ass off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kids are 17 & 14. We have always held firm with no juice in the house, including orange juice. Definitely no soda. The choices at meals have always been milk or water.

That said, what they have outside of the house is up for grabs. Sometimes we've gone to a restaurant and had a splash of juice in the water. When they went to soccer games, someone would bring juice boxes. Or when they've gone to their grandparents' house, they have juice. We just went out to dinner last night, and they asked for water. Sometimes they'll ask for lemonade. It's just not a big deal.

We also don't do cereal other than plain Cheerios or Go Lean Kashi. It's always a big treat when they go to my parents where they were introduced to "rainbow Cheerios" aka Fruit Loops.

Never have my kids "freaked out." They've never begged or whined for these foods at home. The adults do the shopping and make those decisions. There is always a rich selection of fruits. Yes, we've always had ice cream, but it's something after dinner. When they're out, they have other options.

Keep your rules at home. Don't judge others, including your SIL. We're all just doing the best we can.

I am sincerely curious how this works. The waitress is at your table and you ask for water and say "and can you just put a little splash of juice in that?" How does she charge for that on the bill? I can't imagine they'll just give you the "splash of juice" for free, especially because honestly it's probably a total PITA for waitress.

[Anonymous]

I recently hosted a party for friends and kids. One of the moms is super controlling about food. Won’t let her kids have bread/pasta/rice/etc at home. She’s gotten phone calls from the school about her kids’ lunches not being satisfying enough to the point where her kids are asking other kids for their food. Anyway, at the party her kids were literally stuffing bread into their pockets. They kept sneaking food-particularly bread type products- from the kitchen and running into my kids’ rooms to eat it. Meanwhile the other kids whose parents are more relaxed about food were playing so much they hardly ate at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently hosted a party for friends and kids. One of the moms is super controlling about food. Won’t let her kids have bread/pasta/rice/etc at home. She’s gotten phone calls from the school about her kids’ lunches not being satisfying enough to the point where her kids are asking other kids for their food. Anyway, at the party her kids were literally stuffing bread into their pockets. They kept sneaking food-particularly bread type products- from the kitchen and running into my kids’ rooms to eat it. Meanwhile the other kids whose parents are more relaxed about food were playing so much they hardly ate at all.

Wow. That reminds me of that Turpin family where the parents were starving their kids, and even controlling/starving the young adult ones. They allowed one of the sons to take a few classes at the local community college and one time at a party he just stood at the table and ate and ate and ate because it was the only time his food wasn't restricted by his parents.

[Anonymous]

We don’t have food restrictions. The kids can eat whatever, whenever and however much they want. If they had a weight problem we might readjust but they are both super skinny and underweight . It definitely works for us and meal times are no issue .

[Anonymous]

Give your kids play money or three one dollar bills before you go. They can trade the money in for ONE snack each bill. Or they can keep the money and put it in their piggy bank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate this too. My girlfriend’s kids are constantly pulling out juice boxes and my kids want them. The oldest is 10 and has a double chin. Wonder why.

Ugh. You’re disgusting to talk about a child like that. Karma will get you.

It is not disgusting. It is aware.