Anybody said I love you very early...what happened after

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have you heard from him after you said I love you? I agree with the other poster If you feel that good about him (which is amazing!) I’d have just said I like you a lot.
Just curious, how old are you Op?

Yes. Tonight. Called me. Told me about his job interview. Going out for pizza in a couple days. I am 54 and he is 62.

Oh my gosh, I was guessing 30 years younger! Have you been married/in love before?

I said it around 3 weeks in. I was also 19 and drunk. He said “thank you”. Proposed 15 months later, married a year after that. Now been married for 11+ years.

He’s awesome. Still probably should have kept my mouth shut a while longer

I knew I would sound young. I have loved fully once before. Been married twice. The second one is who I loved without condition. We split up four years ago. He never loved ME. Never imagined I could have these feelings again. Never imagined another man could bring me to this place. Even if things don't work out, I believe he is a beautiful human being.

[Anonymous]

I did. Third date, right after sex. He said it back maybe a week later? Married for 12 years, two kids.

[Anonymous]

I love these stories and I'm not going to lie ... I think it can be real. So sure, it might actually be chemical, hormones, lust. But what IS real love other than a commitment to the other person? I don't FEEL love for my husband or kids, TBH. I just know I love them. So ... Good for you OP. It was brave to say i love you so early and as I get older I'm more willing to say things like that earlier and more often than when i was younger because more love is always better.

[Anonymous]

Said it too soon; acted it out too soon; moved in together too soon; 20 years later I regret not moving slower. Take your time. Look at the whole picture. Ask every question and share both your dreams.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Said it three weeks in. Looking back— it was pure lust/chemicals but it felt so right. Dated 18 months, got engaged. Married now for 17 years.

Very similar.
My husband said it after 2 weeks, I said it immediately afterwards (because I thought he'd think I was crazy if I said it first). We got engaged 3 months later, married 8 months later & very happily married for 21 years.

[Anonymous]

I thought 3 months was early....3 weeks? You need to watch a Jay Shetty video on love.

[Anonymous]

Girl, over text is a cop-out. Doesn't count.

[Anonymous]

Interesting. BF said it to me after a handful of dates..... I said it not too long after. I would have held out longer but we just had this very "nice" feeling and caring and affection (in addition to the chemistry).

It's eight months later and things are going strong. He is ready to marry (and has been). I am more wanting to take things slower.

BUT! I think it can be "real" (as a lot of PPs have had success stories).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I thought 3 months was early....3 weeks? You need to watch a Jay Shetty video on love.

Everyone is different, no one person (whomever Jay Shetty is) can tell anyone else how to love.

Isn't that clear to you based on the number of people who have said it a few weeks in and have been happily married for a decade plus?

You know when you know, period.

[Anonymous]

My now-husband said it around 3 months in and I thought that was early, but I see not, compared to you 3 weekers! I didn't return the feelings at first and told him it would take me a bit longer to say it. It finally happened in a Home Depot, of all places. Anyway, married for 15 years, together for 17. Two kids, a dog, a house, and lot of good times together.

[Anonymous]

I've been the recipient, and have to agree with a PP that it can be a red flag, especially HOW it's done.

You can offer the gift of love, but you are looking for more--you want something back. And while that is reasonable and normal, you can't make someone love you. So asking him to "hold on" and all of that--it smacks of desperation.

You've shifted a burden to this guy, who now has got to be worried about hurting you. Ouch.

[Anonymous]

My now-husband said it to me before we were even dating but when he was trying to win me over. His total devotion was something that turned me off at first - and then, over time, made me realize that I had finally found someone I felt I could completely trust. Together 11 years, married 8.5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I never said it early in relationships. I sometimes thought it early and would just sit on it. Because you don't REALLY love this person. You love how you feel when you're with this person.

As a recipient of an early I love you, it was always a tiny bit of a red flag to me. That the other person was looking for something that wasn't even necessarily about me. Because again, a few weeks in you don't know each other.

Good luck.

Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He said it early. During early love making; together almost a year.

Lemme guess...he said it before you had your clothes off.

[Anonymous]

If you are 54 and he is 62, I'd say you are very lucky, OP, to have these feelings of love so strongly and so early. I would grab and hold on to the moment too. Life is too short.