Gave my cheating husband another chance...

[Anonymous]

Hello, kindred spirit,

As someone who also did this ( took a cheater back multiple times ) please know that it DOES NOT STOP. A few cheaters get better at hiding it, but it does not stop.

Read How To Spot a Dangerous Man, or listen on Audible.

It will be tough but you have to end this.

It does not get better hun. The problem of cheating is with him, not you. It’s deeply rooted in a place that cane before you.

Toni Braxton has a song, He’s Not Man Enough For Me. Don’t waste your life not being able to sing this song.

All cheaters, who stay with their wives, are not doing so out of love. They do it out of social perception and control. In some cases, once their penises stop working or they get too old or run out of money to attract APs, they turn the abuse up (emotional, etc).

Leave hun. Work on fixing your heart. He never will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, kindred spirit,

As someone who also did this ( took a cheater back multiple times ) please know that it DOES NOT STOP. A few cheaters get better at hiding it, but it does not stop.

Read How To Spot a Dangerous Man, or listen on Audible.

It will be tough but you have to end this.

It does not get better hun. The problem of cheating is with him, not you. It’s deeply rooted in a place that cane before you.

Toni Braxton has a song, He’s Not Man Enough For Me. Don’t waste your life not being able to sing this song.

All cheaters, who stay with their wives, are not doing so out of love. They do it out of social perception and control. In some cases, once their penises stop working or they get too old or run out of money to attract APs, they turn the abuse up (emotional, etc).

Leave hun. Work on fixing your heart. He never will.

My 2 cents, this poster is right. My ex cheated, we went to therapy, he got better at hiding it, wasted 10 years on that. Get out now. Live your life. Read Chumplady. Move on.

[Anonymous]

OP, you did your best to save the marriage. Now time to do what’s best for yourself and your child. Be free from this man. You deserve to be happy.

((Hugs))

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hello, kindred spirit,

As someone who also did this ( took a cheater back multiple times ) please know that it DOES NOT STOP. A few cheaters get better at hiding it, but it does not stop.

Read How To Spot a Dangerous Man, or listen on Audible.

It will be tough but you have to end this.

It does not get better hun. The problem of cheating is with him, not you. It’s deeply rooted in a place that cane before you.

Toni Braxton has a song, He’s Not Man Enough For Me. Don’t waste your life not being able to sing this song.

All cheaters, who stay with their wives, are not doing so out of love. They do it out of social perception and control. In some cases, once their penises stop working or they get too old or run out of money to attract APs, they turn the abuse up (emotional, etc).

Leave hun. Work on fixing your heart. He never will.

Thank you for this. I really needed that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just remember. This was YOUR call.

No. It wasn't. He knew the rules he broke them it was HIS call for the marriage to end.

YOU took him back.

She took him back because he lied and said he changed and he didn't so... bye felicia!

Exactly my point.

Stop blaming the victim.

No one is blaming her for having been cheated on the first time. She deserves to be blamed her for her absolute awful decision making to take him back in and for believing he had changed. This one is entirely on her.

I would agree if she did not have a child, but I think it is good for parents to do absolutely everything they can to try to make it work for the kid. She tried and it did not work and it is time to move on, but I would not fault her for doing everything she could to try to give her kid a intact home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just remember. This was YOUR call.

No. It wasn't. He knew the rules he broke them it was HIS call for the marriage to end.

YOU took him back.

She took him back because he lied and said he changed and he didn't so... bye felicia!

Exactly my point.

Stop blaming the victim.

No one is blaming her for having been cheated on the first time. She deserves to be blamed her for her absolute awful decision making to take him back in and for believing he had changed. This one is entirely on her.

I think it's SO ODD the mental gymnastics some people will do to ensure they don't have to have sympathy for some else's shitty situation. Usually stay from an insecurity that "no one is handing me anything/ gives a shit about my life. So why should I". What a crap outlook

It's also a form of mental protection -- " I will never be in that situation because I would never make such an awful choice." People like this also believe that they will never be cheated on because they are smarter than the infidelity victim and would have seen the "signs" that revealed the cheater to have been a bad person or they would have "satisfied" the cheater sexually or interpersonally.

Blame is a form of self-soothing. The other person did something wrong. I would never do that wrong thing. Ergo I will never be in that position.

It doesn't really work that way, but it's a powerful need for safety that prompts people to use victim-blaming to protect themselves from the mental anguish of the concept that anyone can be cheated on at any time.

[Anonymous]

I beg you to end it. My mom tried to make it work for the kids. It didn't work.

[Anonymous]

I did the same thing. Not just for my child but because I really loved him. It didn't work. He never changed. Once a cheater, always a cheater in my situation. It was miserable. I always felt he was comparing me to someone else. Weird that all of a sudden he made me feel I wasn't good enough for him. If you knew my story, you'd find that quite hilarious. I'm glad he's gone though and we're divorced. When I think about it, he's always been a liar and a cheater. He'll never change. I made a ton of excuses for him over the years. Just wasted a bunch of time loving the wrong person.