Parents who don't intervene -- why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As someone that has had a 21 month old that it’s now older… The playground is not the place for them when the bigger kids are there. Go when it’s really quiet. Big kids don’t see little kids. They just don’t. It’s not because of their parents it’s because they’re playing and it’s how it’s always been. Bothered me me too until it really sunk in that I needed to be the one responsible for my child safety. Of course kids need rolls but also kids that are more vigorous don’t need the same roles that a tiny child does.

So is there a mass message when older kids are not at the playground? /s

Seriously,we are the playground during evenings and on weekends like every other family with kids. Not to mention, this is a toddler-specific playground. Also, I am within a hugs reach at all times with my kid. I am intervening and protecting- constantly.

You're giving the boys will be boys reasoning and its a scapegoat. Little kids should have less emphasis put on rule following because it is harder for them to comprehend. If your 6 year old cant share equipment and watch out for others- they need to leave.



DP. This changes things. If it's a toddler playground, then toddlers get to play and the big kids need to get out of the toddler space. And FWIW, ALL big kids need space to run and play freely, not just boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

As someone that has had a 21 month old that it’s now older… The playground is not the place for them when the bigger kids are there. Go when it’s really quiet. Big kids don’t see little kids. They just don’t. It’s not because of their parents it’s because they’re playing and it’s how it’s always been. Bothered me me too until it really sunk in that I needed to be the one responsible for my child safety. Of course kids need rolls but also kids that are more vigorous don’t need the same roles that a tiny child does.

So is there a mass message when older kids are not at the playground? /s

Seriously,we are the playground during evenings and on weekends like every other family with kids. Not to mention, this is a toddler-specific playground. Also, I am within a hugs reach at all times with my kid. I am intervening and protecting- constantly.

You're giving the boys will be boys reasoning and its a scapegoat. Little kids should have less emphasis put on rule following because it is harder for them to comprehend. If your 6 year old cant share equipment and watch out for others- they need to leave.



Oh my. No. Get up and go earlier on the weekends. Or at a weird time of day that kids are at sports or a meal. It’s not boys will be boys, it’s that these kids literally cannot see your baby. Wait until they are bigger to go to the playground, I know you really want to be there but it’s not your time yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the poster above- I think we have different definitions of cooperating. If an older kid is going up the slide while my kid is trying to go down- that isnt cooperation.

What if 4 kids are playing a game on the slide together? Do they all have to get off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will freely admit that I do not usually intervene when my kid commits a routine playground faux-pas like climbing the slide. You know why? I am tired and it is not a huge deal at the end of the day. With my 2yo, I intervene because it is usually a safety issue. With a 5yo, though? No. They can figure it out themselves.

I completely realize this is selfish and that most of you probably find it extremely annoying. I find the people who are constantly intervening in the social dynamics of elementary-school-aged kids annoying as well.

I don’t find that selfish or extremely annoying in any way whatsoever. It’s normal parenting. Anyone who write six paragraphs about it not being ok is self delusional.

Yes, but I'm telling my 21 month old he cant climb up the slide and your 5 year old does it. Either the rules apply or they dont. Your kid being older doesnt get to not have rules just because they can handle the physical fallout if they fall off, etc. Your kid should be told that they need to watch out for little kids and show them the right way to do things. Let them be wild and without rules at your house.

We went to the park this weekend at Centennial Park. There was a kid STEPPING on the back of my toddlers heels as he was trying to cross a bridge. I had to physically put my hand there to stop him from running him over while telling him to please wait his turn. Eventually, we just took him off the bridge.

Older kids were climbing the outside of the slides, running into smaller kids, etc. If my kid is crawling through the tunnels, I have to physically block kids from running into the tunnel and stepping on him. These older kids are serious $$$holes. A 6-8 year old pushed my kid out of the way on the slide. I was down below to help him come down- right next to the top of the slide and was there to move him aside. There were 2 other slides open next to him. You better believe I asked where her mom was. And she wouldnt answer.

This happened in a huge playground within 15-20 minutes. We ended up walking the paths because of this.

As someone that has had a 21 month old that it’s now older… The playground is not the place for them when the bigger kids are there. Go when it’s really quiet. Big kids don’t see little kids. They just don’t. It’s not because of their parents it’s because they’re playing and it’s how it’s always been. Bothered me me too until it really sunk in that I needed to be the one responsible for my child safety. Of course kids need rolls but also kids that are more vigorous don’t need the same roles that a tiny child does.

+1. Find a playground that has a toddler area and separate big kid area. If the big kids are running crazily around the toddler area, THEN you say something. If your toddler is in the big kid area and is getting jostled around but not hurt, then who cares? If the big kid is putting your kid at risk or actually hurting him (like making him cry from pain hurt), then say something to the big kid ("that was dangerous, this baby could have fallen off of the slide"), then REMOVE YOUR KID FROM THE BIG KID AREA.

+1

[Anonymous]

“Larla, don’t climb the slide.”
“But he’s climbing the slide.”
“His parents might have different rules.”

It’s not that hard.

I let my kids climb the slide if no one is trying to come down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know what I find annoying? When there are half a dozen kids climbing on the slides and playing happily, then one parent of a young toddler comes over and tries to make all of the other kids stop their play so little Larlo can go down the "right" way. It's a playground, FFS, let the kids play however they want as long as everyone's cooperating.

- DC Rec Center parent, can't speak to NOVA playgrounds.

YES

-NOVA -we go to lots of different playgrounds depending on time of day or crowd parent

[Anonymous]

My 3 year old likes to climb up the slides, especially after he seeing other kids doing that as well. I used to intervene every time he does that, and I am told by my friend (she is a clinical child psychologist) many times that I intervene too much. Now, I only intervene physically when there are kids coming down the slides.

[Anonymous]

You first time toddler mama bears are super cute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the poster above- I think we have different definitions of cooperating. If an older kid is going up the slide while my kid is trying to go down- that isnt cooperation.

"Oops, hold on Larlo. Looks like this big kid is taking a turn on the slide. Okay, your turn once the big kid is up!"

OR

"Uh oh, Larlo, looks like these big kids are playing on the slide already. Let's go down the other slide or crawl through this cool tunnel instead!"

This is really not hard, folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster above- I think we have different definitions of cooperating. If an older kid is going up the slide while my kid is trying to go down- that isnt cooperation.

"Oops, hold on Larlo. Looks like this big kid is taking a turn on the slide. Okay, your turn once the big kid is up!"

OR

"Uh oh, Larlo, looks like these big kids are playing on the slide already. Let's go down the other slide or crawl through this cool tunnel instead!"

This is really not hard, folks.

DP but are you suggesting if the big kids are sitting on the slide for 15 min this is acceptable? What about the concept of taking turns? I get it, if it’s just trying to climb up a couple of times but kids sitting/climbing up doesn’t exactly sound like sharing or playing nicely. I assume 2-5 yr old playground still counts as toddler playground to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster above- I think we have different definitions of cooperating. If an older kid is going up the slide while my kid is trying to go down- that isnt cooperation.

"Oops, hold on Larlo. Looks like this big kid is taking a turn on the slide. Okay, your turn once the big kid is up!"

OR

"Uh oh, Larlo, looks like these big kids are playing on the slide already. Let's go down the other slide or crawl through this cool tunnel instead!"

This is really not hard, folks.

DP but are you suggesting if the big kids are sitting on the slide for 15 min this is acceptable? What about the concept of taking turns? I get it, if it’s just trying to climb up a couple of times but kids sitting/climbing up doesn’t exactly sound like sharing or playing nicely. I assume 2-5 yr old playground still counts as toddler playground to you?

Not PP, really let the kids work it out. I’m sorry there is not a playground manager to contact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster above- I think we have different definitions of cooperating. If an older kid is going up the slide while my kid is trying to go down- that isnt cooperation.

"Oops, hold on Larlo. Looks like this big kid is taking a turn on the slide. Okay, your turn once the big kid is up!"

OR

"Uh oh, Larlo, looks like these big kids are playing on the slide already. Let's go down the other slide or crawl through this cool tunnel instead!"

This is really not hard, folks.

DP but are you suggesting if the big kids are sitting on the slide for 15 min this is acceptable? What about the concept of taking turns? I get it, if it’s just trying to climb up a couple of times but kids sitting/climbing up doesn’t exactly sound like sharing or playing nicely. I assume 2-5 yr old playground still counts as toddler playground to you?

Oh stop making stuff up. I've been going to many a playground for many years now and not once have I seen kids sit on slides for 15 minutes. Maybe on the tops of covered ones for 5 minutes, but that doesn't block your kid's access. Kids go to playgrounds to move, not to sit and hold court.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster above- I think we have different definitions of cooperating. If an older kid is going up the slide while my kid is trying to go down- that isnt cooperation.

"Oops, hold on Larlo. Looks like this big kid is taking a turn on the slide. Okay, your turn once the big kid is up!"

OR

"Uh oh, Larlo, looks like these big kids are playing on the slide already. Let's go down the other slide or crawl through this cool tunnel instead!"

This is really not hard, folks.

DP but are you suggesting if the big kids are sitting on the slide for 15 min this is acceptable? What about the concept of taking turns? I get it, if it’s just trying to climb up a couple of times but kids sitting/climbing up doesn’t exactly sound like sharing or playing nicely. I assume 2-5 yr old playground still counts as toddler playground to you?

Not PP, really let the kids work it out. I’m sorry there is not a playground manager to contact.

NP -- this, minus the snarky manager comment. But PP, parents of older kids don't manage kid interactions at the level that toddler parents do. It wouldn't make sense for us to. And yes, if there is a group of older kids climbing the slide and hanging out for 15 mins, then either 1) accept that the slide is in use for the foreseeable future or 2) say "hey guys, can Larlo go down the slide?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Couple examples recently...

1) At the playground, parent whining/cajoling their 5 year old to stop climbing up the slide when another kid was trying to go down. Lots of: "Come on now Larlo. I mean it. etc." but the kid is just blatantly ignoring the parent and doesn't get off. The parent never actually just went over there and removed their kid off the slide.

2) 2 year old girl at our house for a play date, and she doesn't want to leave. Her mom is saying: "Time to go now Larla! Please Larla! We have to go. If you don't come right now Mommy's going to be very sad at you." and on and on until she ended up bribing her with something.

When these things happen, I truly wonder why parents don't just physically intervene. Like, why not just pick up your kid and head out? I know the playdate mom fairly well, and she's smart, and she's not lazy.

I've been a nanny for many years and now I am a mom. The reason parents don't say or do anything is that many of them are just embarrassed by their kids' behavior. The other reason is that parents want their kids to like them. This is a huge issue at the school where I teach. Parents let their kids do whatever they want so their kids won't be mad at them. Then they come to school with rules and limits and the kids act crazy since nobody has ever laid down the law with them. It's getting worse every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the poster above- I think we have different definitions of cooperating. If an older kid is going up the slide while my kid is trying to go down- that isnt cooperation.

"Oops, hold on Larlo. Looks like this big kid is taking a turn on the slide. Okay, your turn once the big kid is up!"

OR

"Uh oh, Larlo, looks like these big kids are playing on the slide already. Let's go down the other slide or crawl through this cool tunnel instead!"

This is really not hard, folks.

DP but are you suggesting if the big kids are sitting on the slide for 15 min this is acceptable? What about the concept of taking turns? I get it, if it’s just trying to climb up a couple of times but kids sitting/climbing up doesn’t exactly sound like sharing or playing nicely. I assume 2-5 yr old playground still counts as toddler playground to you?

I am not the PP, but as the person who initially said that I don't intervene at the playground often because I am tired, what I will say is that there are many situations in life when the thing that you want is not going to be available to you at the time that you want it. It would be nice if the "big kids" on the slide would let the little kids go down the slide, and it sucks that those kids were apparently not taught to share, but it is also developmentally appropriate for a 5yo to want to play on a slide with other 5yo and not necessarily be aware of other people wanting to use the same slide. The playground that we go to is designed for children between 2yo and 5yo, so the 5yo group on the slide has just as much right to be there as the 2yo who wants to go down the slide.

If I am looking for a teaching moment here, the teaching moment, as the parent of the 2yo, is with my own child, to whom I would say, "Hey, it looks like those kids are using the slide right now. Let's go to the sandbox/swing/whatever instead." 2yo are infinitely distractable and will probably be satisfied with another activity. If that is not the case, simply saying, "Hey guys, can this girl go down the slide?" is perfectly acceptable. Would it be nice if all parents were immediately on the ball? Yes. But they (we) are not always on the ball. Sometimes we would like to sit on a bench and finish our coffee while our children play in a developmentally appropriate playground with a gate. Your child will not suffer any lasting harm, emotional or otherwise, because of three 5yo who didn't want to share a slide on Saturday morning.