Got an apology from my ex who dumped me for my best friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who calls people they dated a decade ago “my ex”? That’s like for very recent ex boyfriends or ex husbands.

Seriously? After 10 years they stop being your ex and it's like (poof!) all that history of you being together never even happened?

Nah. Dude is Op's ex.

[Anonymous]

I got back with an ex visa Facebook. My college sweetheart. Broke up because he cheated on me. Got back together and engaged and then......

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He cheated again. Once a loser cheater, always a loser cheater. Leave with the upper hand and don’t even respond to that trash.

[Anonymous]

^got back with an ex VIA Facebook. Oh and it was 10 years later, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who calls people they dated a decade ago “my ex”? That’s like for very recent ex boyfriends or ex husbands.

Seriously? After 10 years they stop being your ex and it's like (poof!) all that history of you being together never even happened?

Nah. Dude is Op's ex.

I’m a woman, and when women do this they seem very pathetic. Ex husband, fine. Some guy you dated in college? Seriously? “My ex”? Gives a very specific title to someone who just passed through your life... is every boyfriend ever “my ex”? How do people possibly know who you’re talking about?

[Anonymous]

Just to offer an alternative- i did have an ex randomly call me a couple years later to apologize. It was completely out of the blue and he felt guilty for being a cheater and also just generally treating me like crap. Apparently he met someone later that he got serious with and she was kind of a trading wreck from someone like him messing with her head.

So it’s possible he does just want to apologize (although the meet in person for drinks part makes it seem less likely)

Even if that is the case though, it’s just a lame attempt to assuage guilt. At best. Skip it.

Even the best case scenarios stink. He didn’t just cheat, he did it with your best friend. And if they were soul mates, a decent human would have at least broken up with you first and tried to be upfront about things. There are a lot of character flaws and insecurities that caused the breakup and this haven’t changed. Stay strong - you’re handling things the right way by maintaining distance.

[Anonymous]

I believe we grow the most mentally and emotionally between 18 and 30. People you knew/dated at 18 are very different at 25. You still found him attractive. Only you know if there is too much hurt from the past to go back down that road. IMO, there is no harm in meeting him for a drink and discovering if there is interested or not. It would be different if you were in another relationship.
We learn for experiences. Go out and have that drink. You will learn if there is still a spark and maybe learn if there is an interest in pursuing it. Maybe it will just be more water under the bridge and you will just knock down any remaining barriers. It will make your journeys home less stressful since he will be an afterthought.
Plus, there is the naturally human instinct of wanting to feel like you won. He made you insecure. Seeing he wants you and knowing that he knows moving on was a horrible mistakes gives you that win. You will gain confidence, which is very sexy in a woman or a man.
Basically, I see no downside to the drink. To use a Seinfeld term, you have "hand".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just to offer an alternative- i did have an ex randomly call me a couple years later to apologize. It was completely out of the blue and he felt guilty for being a cheater and also just generally treating me like crap. Apparently he met someone later that he got serious with and she was kind of a trading wreck from someone like him messing with her head.

So it’s possible he does just want to apologize (although the meet in person for drinks part makes it seem less likely)

Even if that is the case though, it’s just a lame attempt to assuage guilt. At best. Skip it.

Even the best case scenarios stink. He didn’t just cheat, he did it with your best friend. And if they were soul mates, a decent human would have at least broken up with you first and tried to be upfront about things. There are a lot of character flaws and insecurities that caused the breakup and this haven’t changed. Stay strong - you’re handling things the right way by maintaining distance.

He was 18 or 19. Almost every male that age does dumb, thoughtless shit because the hormones are raging and it controls them. Most grow up. Some dont. The key is trusting yourself enough to be able to figure it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe we grow the most mentally and emotionally between 18 and 30. People you knew/dated at 18 are very different at 25. You still found him attractive. Only you know if there is too much hurt from the past to go back down that road. IMO, there is no harm in meeting him for a drink and discovering if there is interested or not. It would be different if you were in another relationship.
We learn for experiences. Go out and have that drink. You will learn if there is still a spark and maybe learn if there is an interest in pursuing it. Maybe it will just be more water under the bridge and you will just knock down any remaining barriers. It will make your journeys home less stressful since he will be an afterthought.
Plus, there is the naturally human instinct of wanting to feel like you won. He made you insecure. Seeing he wants you and knowing that he knows moving on was a horrible mistakes gives you that win. You will gain confidence, which is very sexy in a woman or a man.
Basically, I see no downside to the drink. To use a Seinfeld term, you have "hand".

OP doesn’t need to revisit the past. From what she wrote, I gather that the only reason she’ll meet him is to get laid which I think is a mistake.

OP, think about the future and how you’ll feel when you visit your dad/town if you engage with him again and you end up feeling disappointed in yourself.

[Anonymous]

OP you can't be this desperate. The guy left you for your best friend and you're considering sleeping with him years later?

[Anonymous]

OP this guys a creep. Don't ever contact him or respond to him...common sense. Don't you think???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who calls people they dated a decade ago “my ex”? That’s like for very recent ex boyfriends or ex husbands.

Seriously? After 10 years they stop being your ex and it's like (poof!) all that history of you being together never even happened?

Nah. Dude is Op's ex.

I’m a woman, and when women do this they seem very pathetic. Ex husband, fine. Some guy you dated in college? Seriously? “My ex”? Gives a very specific title to someone who just passed through your life... is every boyfriend ever “my ex”? How do people possibly know who you’re talking about?

So is she supposed to say “this guy I dated in college”? Every time?

It’s much easier to say “ex” which is why most people do it.