Got an apology from my ex who dumped me for my best friend

[Anonymous]

My ex and I broke up during our first year at college so about 10 years ago. He cheated on me with my best friend. We were all teenagers and young and stupid but I was so heartbroken that I lost the 2 people closest to me. I transferred to another college across the country my sophomore year. It was a really good decision because it became so much easier for me to move on. I decided not to move back to my hometown and my career opportunities have dictated where I live.

I went back home to visit my dad and I saw the ex for the first time since I moved all those years ago. The really shallow side of me was hoping he would be ugly but he still looks good. He approached me we talked for a few minutes. He apologized for what happened and said it was a huge mistake. I told him it was so long ago and that I should thank him because if it did not happen I would probably be stuck in the same small town and told him I was in a really good place. He seemed kind of stung when I said that but it's the truth. He asked me if we could meet for drinks and I told him I had other plans and told him good bye and went back to my dad.

Even though we were kids when all this went down an apology was nice to receive. Him and my best friend completely changed the trajectory of my life and left me with some serious trust issues for a long while. I made peace with my former best friend a few years ago and have been able to rebuild a friendship.

I flew back home and forgot about the conversation I had with the ex until he sent me a message on facebook. He asked me if I was coming back home for any of the holidays and to please meet him for drinks that he had so much he wanted to say. I'm not sure if he is feeling nostalgic or what his angle is. What could he possibly have to say beyond what was already said. I am not sure if I should even respond.

[Anonymous]

If he's single he is interested in rekindling something. He's stuck back in your home town and is looking for a way out. Just give him a polite no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you handled this well, OP. I think it's up to you whether you want to meet up with him. You don't owe him anything. What feels right to you?

[Anonymous]

His angle? Between your legs. That’s his angle. You can’t be that naive. He fooled you once. Are you going to let him fool you again?

[Anonymous]

You're young and assume not married. He looks good. You've forgiven your best friend. Go for it. If just for the ONS.

Easy for me to say since it didn't happen to me.

[Anonymous]

Was he good in bed? If yes, and you can avoid getting tangled up emotionally, meet him for drinks, sleep with him, and move on. If he was not good in bed just move on.

I had a wonderful one night stand with a college ex a few years ago. I would never date him again, but the night was fun and worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're young and assume not married. He looks good. You've forgiven your best friend. Go for it. If just for the ONS.

Easy for me to say since it didn't happen to me.

^pp again. Or he could be your guy.

[Anonymous]

Quick & easy to respond with "Not interested." Alternative is to express you have no travel plans in the works, but he is welcome to type out what he feels the need to say.

[Anonymous]

Don’t look back.

[Anonymous]

OP here,

I am single and dating and got out of a long term relationship 1 year ago. I looked at his profile and he put he is single. I am going home for Thanksgiving. He is attractive but hooking up with him is not something I have considered with our messy history.

I was thinking of responding by saying if you have something to get off your chest go ahead and write it and that I did not think we had anything to discuss in person and leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I am single and dating and got out of a long term relationship 1 year ago. I looked at his profile and he put he is single. I am going home for Thanksgiving. He is attractive but hooking up with him is not something I have considered with our messy history.

I was thinking of responding by saying if you have something to get off your chest go ahead and write it and that I did not think we had anything to discuss in person and leave it alone.

Deep inside you are liking what he is doing. This is why men find some women easy. Always willing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His angle? Between your legs. That’s his angle. You can’t be that naive. He fooled you once. Are you going to let him fool you again?

Agree with this. He thinks you’ll be easy since you have a history. I’d just ignore any messages. He apologized, no need to drag it out.

[Anonymous]

OP you handled the whole thing with grace. He was stung by your "it's ok and I'm doing well, thanks" response because he wants more. My ex from college recently reached out to me with the "you're the one who got away speech". I didn't get away, he dumped me. But, it's easier for him to remember the past romantically, especially since he's now in an unhappy marriage.

You're not punishing him for his past actions by not jumping into the sack with him. Keep moving forward, not backwards, and you won't regret it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here,

I am single and dating and got out of a long term relationship 1 year ago. I looked at his profile and he put he is single. I am going home for Thanksgiving. He is attractive but hooking up with him is not something I have considered with our messy history.

I was thinking of responding by saying if you have something to get off your chest go ahead and write it and that I did not think we had anything to discuss in person and leave it alone.

Deep inside you are liking what he is doing. This is why men find some women easy. Always willing.

Go away, creep.

[Anonymous]

He wants to have sex with you.