If you’re a stay at home mom do you get any breaks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

Yep. And 25 hours a week for a THREE year old is insane when the mother doesn’t work. And I didn’t even put my 2 years olds in preschool. She doesn’t sound like SAH is for her.

It’s hardly insane if her DH can afford it. Kids benefit from the socialization and learning to be more independent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

Yep. And 25 hours a week for a THREE year old is insane when the mother doesn’t work. And I didn’t even put my 2 years olds in preschool. She doesn’t sound like SAH is for her.

It’s hardly insane if her DH can afford it. Kids benefit from the socialization and learning to be more independent.

Why bother to SAHM at all?

[Anonymous]

Op. I am guessing there are other stressors in your life that are making you feel down and overwhelmed. Maybe it is the diagnosis of special needs, maybe it is your marriage, maybe it is a lack of contentedness or purpose, maybe it is xy or z. If life really is great other than the stress of raising your kids is making you feel like you can't cope, then I would see a doctor to check for thyroid, low iron etc and maybe also screen for depression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

Yep. And 25 hours a week for a THREE year old is insane when the mother doesn’t work. And I didn’t even put my 2 years olds in preschool. She doesn’t sound like SAH is for her.

It’s hardly insane if her DH can afford it. Kids benefit from the socialization and learning to be more independent.

Why bother to SAHM at all?

What an odd comment.Most SAHM have their kids in preschool. My 3 year old goes part time and it’s good for him and is preparing him for Kindergarten. My 2 year old goes 10 hours a week. They are with me all afternoon and do activities around town or with friends. I can count on my hand the number of stay at home moms I know that don’t have their toddlers and preschoolers in a school program.

[Anonymous]

I'm not reading all of the responses but are the kids in school at the same time or do you always have one of them? If they are in school at the same time, that's your break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

Yep. And 25 hours a week for a THREE year old is insane when the mother doesn’t work. And I didn’t even put my 2 years olds in preschool. She doesn’t sound like SAH is for her.

It’s hardly insane if her DH can afford it. Kids benefit from the socialization and learning to be more independent.

Why bother to SAHM at all?

What an odd comment.Most SAHM have their kids in preschool. My 3 year old goes part time and it’s good for him and is preparing him for Kindergarten. My 2 year old goes 10 hours a week. They are with me all afternoon and do activities around town or with friends. I can count on my hand the number of stay at home moms I know that don’t have their toddlers and preschoolers in a school program.

Sorry, no. Almost all of my friends stay home and not one of them, NOT ONE, had a 3 year old in 5 days/5 hours a day of preschool. Most schools do 3 day 3’s, 4 day 4’s and it’s 9-12. Yes it’s good for the kids, and IDGAF why OP does but she’s nuts to complain she gets “no breaks” when she has 10/hours a week + afternoon nap time to herself.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments. [/quote]

yes I don't understand the OP .. your kids are in school a decent amount . so you are home with none of them at least 10 hours a week .. ?[/quote]

Working parent here (no WAH). I am NEVER at home without a kid underfoot. I would give so much for 10 hours a week alone... only way to swing that is to burn vacation while they are at daycare.

Sure weekends, maybe spouse can take them, but generally we have to divide and conquer.

[/quote]

But you are at work 40 hrs a week without kids...not an equally comparison at all. [/quote]

Get a clue. Being at work is NOT A FSKING VACATION. I have people in my office constantly, deadlines and demands. And of course a stressful commute home to make Pickup.

I am *never* in my own home alone like OP is for 10 hours a week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

Yep. And 25 hours a week for a THREE year old is insane when the mother doesn’t work. And I didn’t even put my 2 years olds in preschool. She doesn’t sound like SAH is for her.

It’s hardly insane if her DH can afford it. Kids benefit from the socialization and learning to be more independent.

Why bother to SAHM at all?

What an odd comment.Most SAHM have their kids in preschool. My 3 year old goes part time and it’s good for him and is preparing him for Kindergarten. My 2 year old goes 10 hours a week. They are with me all afternoon and do activities around town or with friends. I can count on my hand the number of stay at home moms I know that don’t have their toddlers and preschoolers in a school program.

Don’t worry OP, you will find MANY proponents of SAHM for teenagers, how vital a job that is. 25 hours of preschool is peanuts.

[Anonymous]

Op, if you don’t have to go back to work, don’t make plans to right now. I SAH and DH has very long hours. I only have one toddler, but this year got ROUGH sometimes. It’s very hard being with your kids around the clock and being the primary parent 7 days a week. I’m happy he is starting 10hrs/week preschool soon. That said, it seems like you do get breaks and one away from the kids when they are in school. What do you do during those times? Are you filling that time with errands and housework? Is your SN child taking up that time with appointments and other obligations? Could you be depressed or have another medical issue leading you to feel drained? How is your diet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

No

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

Yep. And 25 hours a week for a THREE year old is insane when the mother doesn’t work. And I didn’t even put my 2 years olds in preschool. She doesn’t sound like SAH is for her.

It’s hardly insane if her DH can afford it. Kids benefit from the socialization and learning to be more independent.

Why bother to SAHM at all?

What an odd comment.Most SAHM have their kids in preschool. My 3 year old goes part time and it’s good for him and is preparing him for Kindergarten. My 2 year old goes 10 hours a week. They are with me all afternoon and do activities around town or with friends. I can count on my hand the number of stay at home moms I know that don’t have their toddlers and preschoolers in a school program.

Don’t worry OP, you will find MANY proponents of SAHM for teenagers, how vital a job that is. 25 hours of preschool is peanuts.

No one is saying no to preschool, but most normal preschools are even open 25 hours a week. And how can the OP claim with a straight face she gets no breaks?

[Anonymous]

*are NOT even open

[Anonymous]

It doesn’t have to be a competition. I SAH and have no breaks, I would kill for 10 hours a week! But my DH doesn’t travel and is there to help every morning and evening.

OP, can you hire a neighborhood middle or high school student to help a couple afternoons/evenings a week? Schedule a night out with a babysitter for one night a week on weeks your DH is gone? I have friends who sAH and have full time nannies, and others, like myself, with no help. If you can afford more help and are stressed, hire more help!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

Daily nightly rituals helped all of us
Getting out of the house and going for a walk (with kids in stroller) after dinner helped me. Just going around the block.
extended Bath time for the kids
PBS kids
reading at bedtime and then the same book(s) at the end (I ended up memorizing 'Goodnight Moon' and 'The Going to Bed Book' so that we turned out the light I and I recited to them). At that age they slept in the same room and that made it easier.

Easy peasy dinners or take away

In the moment, close your eyes, breathe in for 7 through nose, hold for 7, breathe out for 7-14 through mouth. All with putting your tongue on the top of your mouth.

[Anonymous]

OP, I SAH and understand your exhaustion. You don’t share exactly how you spend your time or what you struggle with, so I just have some general tips:

if you aren’t already, outsource some housecleaning if you can. We have cleaners come every 3 weeks and it helps so much. I also got a stick vacuum and rarely need to drag the big vacuum around the house anymore.

Pare down books and toys. I took several large boxes and put lots of toys in to put away so the play area stays clean. If you can, rotate the boxes of toys and the kids will be much more interested in them! Teach they to put away toy and books before they play with another item.

Get the kids outside every single day. If you have a yard or patio, chuck a sandbox out there. If not, walk or drive to the nearest playground and let them run and climb.

If one or both kids are no longer napping, tell them it is quiet time for everyone. They can read or play quietly if they don’t want to sleep, but you need quiet time too, to eat or rest. My 3 year old likes to play with flash cards and animal figurines and books for this.

Simplify meals. For breakfast, I typically offer my kid cereal with milk and banana or oatmeal, which takes 1.5 minutes in the microwave. I dump fruit in and sometimes nut butter and it’s a pretty good breakfast. Or Greek yogurt with muesli/granola and fruit. When I have more time and energy I make scrambled eggs or pancakes. Lunch and dinner are the same concept- simplify! Lunch can simply be apple slices with peanut butter and a side of steamed broccoli and leftover chicken. Or a peanut butter sandwich with some frozen peas, corn and fruit on the side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:gym with a daycare. I take my 3 (well now 2 bc one is in all day school) everyday for 1 hours and 15 minutes. I usually workout for 45 minutes and take a nice hot shower. And once a week I just sit in the locker room and do bills, catch up on paper work, and sit in the sauna.

With my two older ones back in school until at least 1pm I drop my baby off at our fitness day care and work out for an hour + and then chill out for 30 minutes over coffee. It’s wonderful! Sometimes I don’t even work out and just meet with GF’s who also drop their kids off.