If you’re a stay at home mom do you get any breaks?

[Anonymous]

When my husband was deployed, I did early bedtime on days I really needed some time to myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

[Anonymous]

Does your husband travel a significant amount of time for work? If he doesn't you can see yourself out with your helpful comment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my husband was deployed, I did early bedtime on days I really needed some time to myself.

YES. My husband travels a lot. We do bedtime at 6:45.

Thank you for your service!

[Anonymous]

I second a gym with childcare. It was a sanity saver for me when I had kids that age and husband was traveling. Even if you don’t like working out, just take an hour to yourself and sit or whatever.

Also I include my kids in all the chores so when they go to bed I am not spending my time cleaning. When they go to bed, it’s me time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

I’m a different poster, but I had the same thought. It’s not a nice thing to say, but OP already has A LOT of hours of break from kids. Maybe it’s the SN that’s stressing you out or something else? Did you really not want to be a SAHM? Either way, it’s not going to be solved by more breaks. If 10-25 hours a week isn’t enough, nothing is.


Are you dealing

[Anonymous]

So I can relate. My kids are slightly older but one has special needs and I SAH and my husband travels a lot for 1-2 weeks at a time. It was worst when they were that little and it’s soooo much better now that they’re sleeping through the night and able to do some things independently. I’d hire someone to come from 4-7 pm so you can get help with bedtimes and meals/ cleaning up the house so that you are also done when they go to sleep. After they’re down watch tv, read a book, take a bath. Try not to do your work after a certain point in the evening otherwise you’ll get really resentful fast, especially when he comes home from travel and starts critiquing how you are managing things. Being the on parent 24/7 is mentally exhausting not to mention the stress of when one is sick etc. I got no breaks during the day when they were young as mine would only nap in a stroller or car so resting after bedtime was a sanity saver. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I had lovely breaks because my kids were mellow.
Every day after lunch I sat them down on the floor with toys, told them I needed a rest, and would sit further away with my cup of tea. We didn't have a TV or screens at that time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

You have fair amount of breaks. More than I ever did prior to Elementary school starting. But if you think a sitter would help, get one. In my case I would have been making up errands to have something to do while the sitter was there and errands didn’t relax me.

The kids need to nap or have quiet time if they don’t.

I mean this nicely but maybe a parenting class would help?

10 hours of a break away from any children is not very much in a week, especially when a good portion of that time is dealing with insurance and appointments for special needs child. Does your husband work? Have you ever done all mornings and bedtime for a week straight.. like you know you cannot take your eyes off the kids because you're the only parent there? It's.. a lot.. You're rude... I mean that nicely.

I’m a different poster, but I had the same thought. It’s not a nice thing to say, but OP already has A LOT of hours of break from kids. Maybe it’s the SN that’s stressing you out or something else? Did you really not want to be a SAHM? Either way, it’s not going to be solved by more breaks. If 10-25 hours a week isn’t enough, nothing is.


Are you dealing

10 hours "off" from kids in a week isn't a lot. It's not a break if you have a 2 year old with you. Having 10 hours TOTAL off in a week is nothing if you get no breaks in the morning or evening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a stay at home parent with a spouse that does a significant amount of work travel. We have a 2 and 3 year old. I am really struggling with not losing my patience by the end of the day, especially on weeks of heavy travel. If you’re in this situation can you share any tips on days that you’ve hit your limit or just what is realistic in terms of being with children all the time. I think maybe it may be personal to me. I don’t see other stay at home moms as stressed from being with the kids. Going back to work would be nearly impossible with my husbands insane travel schedule.

My kids are in school. The 3 year old goes 25 hours a week and the 2 year old goes 10. 3 year old us very high energy and the 2 year old has some special needs so we go to a lot of appointments.

Your 2 and 3 yr old attend daycare/preschool. That is your break. Add an earlier bedtime if you can. Past that, try to find activities to do during the day that are more enjoyable to do with them. Parks where they can run, libraries with large toy rooms, picnics, fenced in playgrounds

Schedule yourself some self care such as facials and or getting your hair cut/colored. Do these regularly and get a babysitter for that time. You will feel better. I would also say gym daycare but my 2 yr old hates the childcare there and I end up getting called to get her while I’m working out or in the middle of showing which is the opposite of relaxing.

[Anonymous]

Also recommend gym childcare. And read the Janet Lansbury blogpost on how to stop entertaining your toddler; that helped me as a SAHM who for awhile was getting almost no breaks.

[Anonymous]

The hours your kids are in preschool is your break.

So is the quiet time/nap

So is whatever amount of screen time they get.

And after everyone is tucked into bed.


FWIW, there were a few times when I woke up like 30 min early just to have an uninterrupted cup of coffee (and a brownie) and just sorta veg out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also recommend gym childcare. And read the Janet Lansbury blogpost on how to stop entertaining your toddler; that helped me as a SAHM who for awhile was getting almost no breaks.

OP here. I have heard her books are really good.

[Anonymous]

My kids are 12 months apart. When they were 2 and 3 I joined a cheap gym with childcare. It was my key to survival.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The hours your kids are in preschool is your break.

So is the quiet time/nap

So is whatever amount of screen time they get.

And after everyone is tucked into bed.


FWIW, there were a few times when I woke up like 30 min early just to have an uninterrupted cup of coffee (and a brownie) and just sorta veg out.

This. OP your issue is mental. No one is watching you — put the kids in a child proof room with a puzzle and some toys and veg on a couch. I mean NO ONE will know or care. Your kids will be fine. I do this all the time with my 2 year old, he’s quite good at puzzles now.

If you can’t figure out how to relax you might need therapy or meds.