If you’re a stay at home mom do you get any breaks?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was asking for tips after a long week. If you don’t SAH you may not be the best person to give advice.

Many of the replies WERE from SAHM's, including me. Preschool WAS my break and I never had as many preschool hours as OP. It worked for me. That's what being a SAHM is. Maybe its not as glamorous and fun as OP hoped, but that's the reality of it. If I were even half as miserable as she is I would have gone back to work in a nanosecond. I'm actually really worried about her - she does not sound in a good place.

Concern trolling. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was asking for tips after a long week. If you don’t SAH you may not be the best person to give advice.

Many of the replies WERE from SAHM's, including me. Preschool WAS my break and I never had as many preschool hours as OP. It worked for me. That's what being a SAHM is. Maybe its not as glamorous and fun as OP hoped, but that's the reality of it. If I were even half as miserable as she is I would have gone back to work in a nanosecond. I'm actually really worried about her - she does not sound in a good place.

Concern trolling. Nice.

If anyone is a troll it’s Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get a break when they are in school and I assume they both nap? You get more breaks than most people with those ages.
Hire a sitter one evening a week if that would help.

OP here. Maybe the 10 hour breaks will be great. So far I haven’t felt a break since it has only been two weeks and between my car not starting due to battery dying and waiting for triple A and because of a stomach bug I had my kids all but one of those break days. The only day I had no kids I spent every second on the phone between several doctor and therapy offices and insurance to get my child treatment and still have calls to follow up with no resolution. As far as going back to school, my H travels to 3 cities a week and his schedule varies so much I worry working full time would add just be too much for me. He is very involved with the kids when he is here but I handle basically everything and organization of the household and with no family support in case of my own sickness or an emergency.. I really can’t imagine working full time days and then doing all of that on my own while he is traveling for work.

Everyone has medical appointments and sickness and car trouble.

I can’t imagine you were actually talking on the phone the whole day to doctors — probably on hold? So put phone on speaker and fire up Netflix or what not.

Honestly, I think you should look into seeing a doctor yourself; your level of exhaustion and distress to your situation warrants evaluation.

It’s a special needs situation which is why so many phone calls and paperwork. Your level of being a b*tch deserves self reflection.

I understood it was special needs. From my experience with our therapists they don’t run sessions over the phone. So you were literally speaking with doctors for hours over the phone? Please recommend your doctors since ours only talk at length in session. Paperwork — I would actually bug your DH to do some of that while waiting at airport or in hotel after work.

I wasn’t trying to be critical; I was sincere that it sounds like you need some self-care. If I wanted to be snarky I would add anger management, dear.

Ok. Let’s take today for instance. I call his normal pediatrician and let them know I need a certain record for the dev pediatrician. This is at 9am and after several times contacting with no calls back. They assure me that they have not received the full report I need. I can’t get a call back from the actual OT that came to our house so I go to the staffing company that organizes this, based on the address in their website. They have moved and it is an empty office in a complex. I then call the main line of staffing and finally get through and the call cuts out. I wait 30 min just to see if they call back. I finally get a call from the out of state main office and they give me the same address that they are no longer at. It was never updated with the new regional office. They insist my normal pedi has the test results. I call back pedi and after waiting on hold and asking them to double check and insist they may have the full report they see they yes they do. Now I will spend another hour going in person to get it because none of them can be relied on to get that to me and I need to sign patient release. Now I need to call insurance and verify that the testing he needs done is covered by insurance. It is supposed to be a 5 day wait since the OT submitted but it has actually been over a month. Well it turns out that OT didn’t submit until Friday and sat on it for that long. So what should have been 5-10 min of time actually does require multiple calls and going over to the physical location. And while in theory it sounds great to bug my DH to do it he doesn’t go to 99 percent of these appointments so he’s not familiar with the multiple providers and information to fill out.

Now imagine having to deal with all of that and also pull in a paycheck to help support your family. Get a damn babysitter with all your money and get over yourself. Also, going to the OT staffing address was a complete waste of your time, and I hope you didn't actually do that and are just exaggerating. If its this much work to get a piece of paper from your regular pediatrician you need a new one. Same with your OT. Usually companies that provide the testing with get the authorization for you. You are not being smart with your time which is why you feel like you don't have any.

And what does that have to do with it? You’ve managed to turn this into some mommy martyr drama and all I asked is if anyone else was in a similar situation and struggling with this season of parenting and had any advice since going back to work is extremely challenging due to my husbands work travel and no family nearby. Get over yourself. I could say some stuff about my own life right now that would shut you up real fast. There’s more possibilities to issues in life than financial.. you understand that right? It’s not all about money. and I’m sorry you’re not “DC rich” .. you’re bitterness over this is coming through loud and clear. I am so sorry your family needs you to work so you can go on that trip to Europe and pay your fancy gym bill. Life is tough for you, tell me more. It must be hard to go to the office everyday and have to pull in that paycheck and have time from your cushy office to be on an internet forum arguing with someone else to check their privilege.

You sound completely unhinged OP. Before getting your child’s special needs addressed, I’d recommend therapy and possibly medication for you. The world is not out to get you. You know how the saying goes, “Put your own oxygen mask on first.”

+1. OP sounds terrible. I can’t imagine even thinking these things.

OP you don’t sound remotely kind. I can’t imagine that your attitude and how you treat others isn’t one of the causes of your frustrations in life.

And some of the PP do? It was a response to personal attacks from one particular person . That didn’t come out of no where. Getting advice from someone who can’t relate at all isn’t helpful. There was nothing in the OP that was offensive or called for personal attacks about privilege or pissing contests.

OP called multiple PPs b*tch. It wasn’t one particular person she was attacking. And her response were to comments that were pretty civil.

I can’t imagine she will do better working; I think an au pair would be far more appropriate and helpful.

It was in response to two posts by the same PP that was flat out rude. Comments like don’t have more kids aren’t rude?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was asking for tips after a long week. If you don’t SAH you may not be the best person to give advice.

Many of the replies WERE from SAHM's, including me. Preschool WAS my break and I never had as many preschool hours as OP. It worked for me. That's what being a SAHM is. Maybe its not as glamorous and fun as OP hoped, but that's the reality of it. If I were even half as miserable as she is I would have gone back to work in a nanosecond. I'm actually really worried about her - she does not sound in a good place.

You seem really worried.

[Anonymous]

Get paid help. Do play dates. Use tv.

[Anonymous]

Get a job. Staying home sucks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get a break when they are in school and I assume they both nap? You get more breaks than most people with those ages.
Hire a sitter one evening a week if that would help.

OP here. Maybe the 10 hour breaks will be great. So far I haven’t felt a break since it has only been two weeks and between my car not starting due to battery dying and waiting for triple A and because of a stomach bug I had my kids all but one of those break days. The only day I had no kids I spent every second on the phone between several doctor and therapy offices and insurance to get my child treatment and still have calls to follow up with no resolution. As far as going back to school, my H travels to 3 cities a week and his schedule varies so much I worry working full time would add just be too much for me. He is very involved with the kids when he is here but I handle basically everything and organization of the household and with no family support in case of my own sickness or an emergency.. I really can’t imagine working full time days and then doing all of that on my own while he is traveling for work.

Everyone has medical appointments and sickness and car trouble.

I can’t imagine you were actually talking on the phone the whole day to doctors — probably on hold? So put phone on speaker and fire up Netflix or what not.

Honestly, I think you should look into seeing a doctor yourself; your level of exhaustion and distress to your situation warrants evaluation.

It’s a special needs situation which is why so many phone calls and paperwork. Your level of being a b*tch deserves self reflection.

I understood it was special needs. From my experience with our therapists they don’t run sessions over the phone. So you were literally speaking with doctors for hours over the phone? Please recommend your doctors since ours only talk at length in session. Paperwork — I would actually bug your DH to do some of that while waiting at airport or in hotel after work.

I wasn’t trying to be critical; I was sincere that it sounds like you need some self-care. If I wanted to be snarky I would add anger management, dear.

Ok. Let’s take today for instance. I call his normal pediatrician and let them know I need a certain record for the dev pediatrician. This is at 9am and after several times contacting with no calls back. They assure me that they have not received the full report I need. I can’t get a call back from the actual OT that came to our house so I go to the staffing company that organizes this, based on the address in their website. They have moved and it is an empty office in a complex. I then call the main line of staffing and finally get through and the call cuts out. I wait 30 min just to see if they call back. I finally get a call from the out of state main office and they give me the same address that they are no longer at. It was never updated with the new regional office. They insist my normal pedi has the test results. I call back pedi and after waiting on hold and asking them to double check and insist they may have the full report they see they yes they do. Now I will spend another hour going in person to get it because none of them can be relied on to get that to me and I need to sign patient release. Now I need to call insurance and verify that the testing he needs done is covered by insurance. It is supposed to be a 5 day wait since the OT submitted but it has actually been over a month. Well it turns out that OT didn’t submit until Friday and sat on it for that long. So what should have been 5-10 min of time actually does require multiple calls and going over to the physical location. And while in theory it sounds great to bug my DH to do it he doesn’t go to 99 percent of these appointments so he’s not familiar with the multiple providers and information to fill out.

Now imagine having to deal with all of that and also pull in a paycheck to help support your family. Get a damn babysitter with all your money and get over yourself. Also, going to the OT staffing address was a complete waste of your time, and I hope you didn't actually do that and are just exaggerating. If its this much work to get a piece of paper from your regular pediatrician you need a new one. Same with your OT. Usually companies that provide the testing with get the authorization for you. You are not being smart with your time which is why you feel like you don't have any.

And what does that have to do with it? You’ve managed to turn this into some mommy martyr drama and all I asked is if anyone else was in a similar situation and struggling with this season of parenting and had any advice since going back to work is extremely challenging due to my husbands work travel and no family nearby. Get over yourself. I could say some stuff about my own life right now that would shut you up real fast. There’s more possibilities to issues in life than financial.. you understand that right? It’s not all about money. and I’m sorry you’re not “DC rich” .. you’re bitterness over this is coming through loud and clear. I am so sorry your family needs you to work so you can go on that trip to Europe and pay your fancy gym bill. Life is tough for you, tell me more. It must be hard to go to the office everyday and have to pull in that paycheck and have time from your cushy office to be on an internet forum arguing with someone else to check their privilege.

You sound completely unhinged OP. Before getting your child’s special needs addressed, I’d recommend therapy and possibly medication for you. The world is not out to get you. You know how the saying goes, “Put your own oxygen mask on first.”

+1. OP sounds terrible. I can’t imagine even thinking these things.

OP you don’t sound remotely kind. I can’t imagine that your attitude and how you treat others isn’t one of the causes of your frustrations in life.

And some of the PP do? It was a response to personal attacks from one particular person . That didn’t come out of no where. Getting advice from someone who can’t relate at all isn’t helpful. There was nothing in the OP that was offensive or called for personal attacks about privilege or pissing contests.

OP called multiple PPs b*tch. It wasn’t one particular person she was attacking. And her response were to comments that were pretty civil.

I can’t imagine she will do better working; I think an au pair would be far more appropriate and helpful.

It was in response to two posts by the same PP that was flat out rude. Comments like don’t have more kids aren’t rude?

Maybe harsh, but a valid assessment. And no profanity. I wouldn’t have said it. But she called much more even handed comments b*tch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You get a break when they are in school and I assume they both nap? You get more breaks than most people with those ages.
Hire a sitter one evening a week if that would help.

OP here. Maybe the 10 hour breaks will be great. So far I haven’t felt a break since it has only been two weeks and between my car not starting due to battery dying and waiting for triple A and because of a stomach bug I had my kids all but one of those break days. The only day I had no kids I spent every second on the phone between several doctor and therapy offices and insurance to get my child treatment and still have calls to follow up with no resolution. As far as going back to school, my H travels to 3 cities a week and his schedule varies so much I worry working full time would add just be too much for me. He is very involved with the kids when he is here but I handle basically everything and organization of the household and with no family support in case of my own sickness or an emergency.. I really can’t imagine working full time days and then doing all of that on my own while he is traveling for work.

Everyone has medical appointments and sickness and car trouble.

I can’t imagine you were actually talking on the phone the whole day to doctors — probably on hold? So put phone on speaker and fire up Netflix or what not.

Honestly, I think you should look into seeing a doctor yourself; your level of exhaustion and distress to your situation warrants evaluation.

It’s a special needs situation which is why so many phone calls and paperwork. Your level of being a b*tch deserves self reflection.

I understood it was special needs. From my experience with our therapists they don’t run sessions over the phone. So you were literally speaking with doctors for hours over the phone? Please recommend your doctors since ours only talk at length in session. Paperwork — I would actually bug your DH to do some of that while waiting at airport or in hotel after work.

I wasn’t trying to be critical; I was sincere that it sounds like you need some self-care. If I wanted to be snarky I would add anger management, dear.

Ok. Let’s take today for instance. I call his normal pediatrician and let them know I need a certain record for the dev pediatrician. This is at 9am and after several times contacting with no calls back. They assure me that they have not received the full report I need. I can’t get a call back from the actual OT that came to our house so I go to the staffing company that organizes this, based on the address in their website. They have moved and it is an empty office in a complex. I then call the main line of staffing and finally get through and the call cuts out. I wait 30 min just to see if they call back. I finally get a call from the out of state main office and they give me the same address that they are no longer at. It was never updated with the new regional office. They insist my normal pedi has the test results. I call back pedi and after waiting on hold and asking them to double check and insist they may have the full report they see they yes they do. Now I will spend another hour going in person to get it because none of them can be relied on to get that to me and I need to sign patient release. Now I need to call insurance and verify that the testing he needs done is covered by insurance. It is supposed to be a 5 day wait since the OT submitted but it has actually been over a month. Well it turns out that OT didn’t submit until Friday and sat on it for that long. So what should have been 5-10 min of time actually does require multiple calls and going over to the physical location. And while in theory it sounds great to bug my DH to do it he doesn’t go to 99 percent of these appointments so he’s not familiar with the multiple providers and information to fill out.

Now imagine having to deal with all of that and also pull in a paycheck to help support your family. Get a damn babysitter with all your money and get over yourself. Also, going to the OT staffing address was a complete waste of your time, and I hope you didn't actually do that and are just exaggerating. If its this much work to get a piece of paper from your regular pediatrician you need a new one. Same with your OT. Usually companies that provide the testing with get the authorization for you. You are not being smart with your time which is why you feel like you don't have any.

And what does that have to do with it? You’ve managed to turn this into some mommy martyr drama and all I asked is if anyone else was in a similar situation and struggling with this season of parenting and had any advice since going back to work is extremely challenging due to my husbands work travel and no family nearby. Get over yourself. I could say some stuff about my own life right now that would shut you up real fast. There’s more possibilities to issues in life than financial.. you understand that right? It’s not all about money. and I’m sorry you’re not “DC rich” .. you’re bitterness over this is coming through loud and clear. I am so sorry your family needs you to work so you can go on that trip to Europe and pay your fancy gym bill. Life is tough for you, tell me more. It must be hard to go to the office everyday and have to pull in that paycheck and have time from your cushy office to be on an internet forum arguing with someone else to check their privilege.

You sound completely unhinged OP. Before getting your child’s special needs addressed, I’d recommend therapy and possibly medication for you. The world is not out to get you. You know how the saying goes, “Put your own oxygen mask on first.”

+1. OP sounds terrible. I can’t imagine even thinking these things.

OP you don’t sound remotely kind. I can’t imagine that your attitude and how you treat others isn’t one of the causes of your frustrations in life.

And some of the PP do? It was a response to personal attacks from one particular person . That didn’t come out of no where. Getting advice from someone who can’t relate at all isn’t helpful. There was nothing in the OP that was offensive or called for personal attacks about privilege or pissing contests.

OP called multiple PPs b*tch. It wasn’t one particular person she was attacking. And her response were to comments that were pretty civil.

I can’t imagine she will do better working; I think an au pair would be far more appropriate and helpful.

It was in response to two posts by the same PP that was flat out rude. Comments like don’t have more kids aren’t rude?

Maybe harsh, but a valid assessment. And no profanity. I wouldn’t have said it. But she called much more even handed comments b*tch.

Valid assessment to what? OP made no mention of having more kids.

[Anonymous]

Op. If you need more breaks find a way to buy them. There are no magical hacks for overwhelm other than to rest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP was asking for tips after a long week. If you don’t SAH you may not be the best person to give advice.

Exactly!

OP, you're fine. These working Moms you're arguing with couldn't possibly have a clue how to relate. It's like when I tell DH I want to go back to work and he thinks I'm joking because SAHM life must just be the best, amirite? Or how my 3 yo started preschool last week and he asked me to run an extensive errand for him "while I'm off after I drop off DD", completely forgetting that we also have a 22 month old. "Off", indeed. Or like when he said I was "brave" for taking both sick kids to the grocery store for medicine and provisions because he's on the other side of the country Mon - Fri. Brave? I've been doing this exact thing for 4 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was asking for tips after a long week. If you don’t SAH you may not be the best person to give advice.

Exactly!

OP, you're fine. These working Moms you're arguing with couldn't possibly have a clue how to relate. It's like when I tell DH I want to go back to work and he thinks I'm joking because SAHM life must just be the best, amirite? Or how my 3 yo started preschool last week and he asked me to run an extensive errand for him "while I'm off after I drop off DD", completely forgetting that we also have a 22 month old. "Off", indeed. Or like when he said I was "brave" for taking both sick kids to the grocery store for medicine and provisions because he's on the other side of the country Mon - Fri. Brave? I've been doing this exact thing for 4 years.

Nope, many of us are SAHM’s and we can relate. There is no magic potion. You learn to cope, pay for more help, or go back work. It’s obviously not the job OP expected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was asking for tips after a long week. If you don’t SAH you may not be the best person to give advice.

Exactly!

OP, you're fine. These working Moms you're arguing with couldn't possibly have a clue how to relate. It's like when I tell DH I want to go back to work and he thinks I'm joking because SAHM life must just be the best, amirite? Or how my 3 yo started preschool last week and he asked me to run an extensive errand for him "while I'm off after I drop off DD", completely forgetting that we also have a 22 month old. "Off", indeed. Or like when he said I was "brave" for taking both sick kids to the grocery store for medicine and provisions because he's on the other side of the country Mon - Fri. Brave? I've been doing this exact thing for 4 years.

I would give almost anything to stay home, and we could afford it if DH did a super commute from an exurb to his DC job, like all his colleagues

But he is super anxious about single income since his father got laid off and never worked again at 50; they had to live off family and his moms teaching salary in a high COL (so like they faked address to get to better schools, were on welfare a while, no A/C, etc) and doesn’t want to risk that with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP was asking for tips after a long week. If you don’t SAH you may not be the best person to give advice.

Exactly!

OP, you're fine. These working Moms you're arguing with couldn't possibly have a clue how to relate. It's like when I tell DH I want to go back to work and he thinks I'm joking because SAHM life must just be the best, amirite? Or how my 3 yo started preschool last week and he asked me to run an extensive errand for him "while I'm off after I drop off DD", completely forgetting that we also have a 22 month old. "Off", indeed. Or like when he said I was "brave" for taking both sick kids to the grocery store for medicine and provisions because he's on the other side of the country Mon - Fri. Brave? I've been doing this exact thing for 4 years.

Nope, many of us are SAHM’s and we can relate. There is no magic potion. You learn to cope, pay for more help, or go back work. It’s obviously not the job OP expected.

Agreed. I also think OP is a troll.