30 year old DH blowing up his life

[Anonymous]

call his doctor and talk about switching ssris

I take fluoxetine

[Anonymous]

A joint visit to the doctor by OP and her DH might be helpful, so OP could provide the dr. with specifics.

My brother developed some serious issues over a period of some years, he had a physical annually and the dr. didn't pick up on anything until I went to an appointment with him and laid some things out for her. This led immediately to multiple referrals for medical and mental health assessment.

[Anonymous]

Do not have children with this man.

[Anonymous]

I went through a major depressive episode just after my H and I got married. Thank goodness that instead of just dumping me, he encouraged me to get help and supported me. I'm sure I wasn't a joy to live with at that time. I got better and since then we've been great...just celebrated our 20th anniversary.

I would agree that holding off on having kids at this time would be appropriate. You don't want to add more stress to the situation; I know if I'd gotten pregnant while I was severely depressed, that would've made it more challenging for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't have all the information but from what OP described this clearly sounds like a reaction to the life scare and new meds. It is stunning to see so many people advise dumping the spouse. It's not like this has been going on for a decade and the husband refuses to treat it. It's like as soon as you hit a rough patch you should bail on the marriage. I don't know if these are trolls or what.

I say this as a person who has went through a divorce.

Most people will advise working it out if they are older/have been together for decades and/or have children. In other words, circumstances make it hard to start over. Otoh, OP's dh is 30. They have been together for a couple years at most. And her husband is having issues this early on in the marriage with no kids or other kinds of major stress? OP is young enough and unencumbered enough to start over.

New poster. PP, you are advocating for divorce as an immediate knee-jerk reaction to what may be mental issues and/or meds talking. This may be fixable but you want OP to walk without even attempting to work with this as a potential medical issue first.

Do you simply walk away from everything and everyone that gets difficult in your own life, PP? I would not want to be in your family if you abandon people so readily rather than making any effort to help them first.

She can dodge a bullet by quickly dumping this guy before they get too far along.

PP here. "Too far long" Isn't that what dating is for? Why get married if you're going to bail as soon as you have problems. Premarital sex and even cohabitation is acceptable nowadays. Why marry if you're not in it for the long haul. Mental illness, even if induced by drugs is still an illness. At most, the problem has been going on for 8 months. I would expect the spouse to really try for several years before bailing. I agree she should hold off on having kids though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:call his doctor and talk about switching ssris

I take fluoxetine

Which is usually a first choice SSRI docs prescribe.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't have all the information but from what OP described this clearly sounds like a reaction to the life scare and new meds. It is stunning to see so many people advise dumping the spouse. It's not like this has been going on for a decade and the husband refuses to treat it. It's like as soon as you hit a rough patch you should bail on the marriage. I don't know if these are trolls or what.

I say this as a person who has went through a divorce.

Most people will advise working it out if they are older/have been together for decades and/or have children. In other words, circumstances make it hard to start over. Otoh, OP's dh is 30. They have been together for a couple years at most. And her husband is having issues this early on in the marriage with no kids or other kinds of major stress? OP is young enough and unencumbered enough to start over.

New poster. PP, you are advocating for divorce as an immediate knee-jerk reaction to what may be mental issues and/or meds talking. This may be fixable but you want OP to walk without even attempting to work with this as a potential medical issue first.

Do you simply walk away from everything and everyone that gets difficult in your own life, PP? I would not want to be in your family if you abandon people so readily rather than making any effort to help them first.

She can dodge a bullet by quickly dumping this guy before they get too far along.

PP here. "Too far long" Isn't that what dating is for? Why get married if you're going to bail as soon as you have problems. Premarital sex and even cohabitation is acceptable nowadays. Why marry if you're not in it for the long haul. Mental illness, even if induced by drugs is still an illness. At most, the problem has been going on for 8 months. I would expect the spouse to really try for several years before bailing. I agree she should hold off on having kids though.

If she waits several years, she may not be able to have kids.

[Anonymous]

SSRI use increases risk of dementia.

You can't have kids with this guy. He's clearly telling you he isn't reliable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SSRI use increases risk of dementia.

You can't have kids with this guy. He's clearly telling you he isn't reliable.

Are you familiar with the term "confounding by indication?"

People who get chemotherapy are more likely to have the long-term effects of cancer.

[Anonymous]

Suicide risk of SSRI use.

[Anonymous]

Is the medication Pristiq?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Suicide risk of SSRI use.

Do you mean for adults or teenagers?

Do you distinguish the differences between "suicidal ideation,""suicide attempt," and "suicide?"

Are you comparing risk of suicide to the general risk or to the risk in people with serious untreated depression?

Are you familiar with the concept of "confounding by indication?"

[Anonymous]

This is tough OP. I agree that it sounds like the medication could be behind this abrupt of a change. I would go to the doctor as others have advised and report the changes you are seeing, because, at the very least, your DH may not be able to see them clearly for himself. I know if I were affected by meds in this way, I would hope and pray my DH would do this for me, and not just leave me.

OTOH, if your DH is somehow refusing to cooperate with medication changes, is someone you can no longer live with, is dangerous, etc., then you must look out for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Are you familiar with the concept of "confounding by indication?"

Nope. Be clearer in making your point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't have all the information but from what OP described this clearly sounds like a reaction to the life scare and new meds. It is stunning to see so many people advise dumping the spouse. It's not like this has been going on for a decade and the husband refuses to treat it. It's like as soon as you hit a rough patch you should bail on the marriage. I don't know if these are trolls or what.

I say this as a person who has went through a divorce.

If things are bad this early, no sense in waiting to get out. I waited for it to improve and got unexpectedly pregnant. It has been a miserable 10 years and finally getting out. I wish I had left at the very first moment I knew I should leave. If things are bad at the beginning, waiting or stick it out is terrible advice.