Entertaining adult nieces and nephews - normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it funny people are trying to attack OP's "adult" children. Why is that?

Take the air quotes away honey, because 18 and 20 are adults. When I was 18, I was working and earning my own money and paying for my own entertainment and food. Her adult offspring are no better than the older moochers, yet she seems to think her offspring = great and the other adults in the equation = awful.

You sound jealous.

Jealous of 400-pound, soda-guzzling losers who hang out with their teen cousins and middle-aged aunt all the time?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I guess I am just going to buy less and when the food is gone, it's gone.
I just have to change how I view things.

Yeah, that's where it starts.

Then you need to ASSIGN THEM THINGS TO CONTRIBUTE. You know, like grown-ups who are frequent family guests do?

And if you don't change your ways, stop complaining and accept your choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three adult (28-31 yrs) nieces and nephews come over about once a month to hang out with my 18, 20 year old kids.
I do a special grocery shop but it's never enough. They stay for 12 hours which feels really long. They live an hour away.

When the three of them come, we go through 48 soda cans, 8 bags of chips, ice cream, fruit trays, cookies. I end up doing two full meals since they are here so long. I do salads, order four large pizzas for them along with wings and garlic bread. Then I order in Chinese for dinner. They will eat everything I put in front of them and it's a full time job keeping the food coming, lol.

I used to cook but it was way too much work. Last time I barbecued some burgers and they had THREE burgers in a sitting with buns and all the fixings plus sides.

Honestly, the visits are taking too much out of me. Are they extreme eaters? I feel bad even posting it but it seems they go hog wild when they are here.

Okay. something seems really off. 48 cans of soda for let's say all seven of you? So that's more than 6 cans per person? And a bag of chips per person? I assume you don't mean the little snack lunch size?

Buy a liter of soda and then it's water after that. Water from the sink.

Each of the adult siblings had three burgers each?

I'm just finding all of this really hard to believe.

The OP clarified that 2 of the 3 visiting cousins are obese. That kind of explains some of the extreme consumption of soda and food. It all sounds super unhealthy and gross--and a terrible influence for OP's kids.

Um, OP doesn't have "kids" at home: She has adults at home. If they haven't figured out some good eating habits by now, I don't think cousins are the problem.

My one son is a workout Fanatic and he watched his food big time. The other one is average. I'm not worried.

Your adult kids live at home, and apparently haven't figured out that they need to pay for their own Chinese take-out. You should be worried.

They just turned 18 and 20. One just finished highschool last month. Where else would he live? The other attends college and is home for summer. College is 45 min away so he comes home on weekend during the year.

Why do you care? My kids are doing well thanks.

I worked at a summer camp *making money and paying for my own meals* the summer after high school. I spent my college summers 1) working at a camp, i2) nterning at a newspaper, 3) running my college's student newspaper and then graduated with a job.

Your kids are mooching and not paying for their own meals and entertainment. Huh.

congrats. I too worked at a summer camp. A sleep-away one. Made $500.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it funny people are trying to attack OP's "adult" children. Why is that?

Take the air quotes away honey, because 18 and 20 are adults. When I was 18, I was working and earning my own money and paying for my own entertainment and food. Her adult offspring are no better than the older moochers, yet she seems to think her offspring = great and the other adults in the equation = awful.

You sound jealous.

Jealous of 400-pound, soda-guzzling losers who hang out with their teen cousins and middle-aged aunt all the time?

Jealous you had to earn your own way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three adult (28-31 yrs) nieces and nephews come over about once a month to hang out with my 18, 20 year old kids.
I do a special grocery shop but it's never enough. They stay for 12 hours which feels really long. They live an hour away.

When the three of them come, we go through 48 soda cans, 8 bags of chips, ice cream, fruit trays, cookies. I end up doing two full meals since they are here so long. I do salads, order four large pizzas for them along with wings and garlic bread. Then I order in Chinese for dinner. They will eat everything I put in front of them and it's a full time job keeping the food coming, lol.

I used to cook but it was way too much work. Last time I barbecued some burgers and they had THREE burgers in a sitting with buns and all the fixings plus sides.

Honestly, the visits are taking too much out of me. Are they extreme eaters? I feel bad even posting it but it seems they go hog wild when they are here.

Okay. something seems really off. 48 cans of soda for let's say all seven of you? So that's more than 6 cans per person? And a bag of chips per person? I assume you don't mean the little snack lunch size?

Buy a liter of soda and then it's water after that. Water from the sink.

Each of the adult siblings had three burgers each?

I'm just finding all of this really hard to believe.

The OP clarified that 2 of the 3 visiting cousins are obese. That kind of explains some of the extreme consumption of soda and food. It all sounds super unhealthy and gross--and a terrible influence for OP's kids.

Um, OP doesn't have "kids" at home: She has adults at home. If they haven't figured out some good eating habits by now, I don't think cousins are the problem.

My one son is a workout Fanatic and he watched his food big time. The other one is average. I'm not worried.

Your adult kids live at home, and apparently haven't figured out that they need to pay for their own Chinese take-out. You should be worried.

They just turned 18 and 20. One just finished highschool last month. Where else would he live? The other attends college and is home for summer. College is 45 min away so he comes home on weekend during the year.

Why do you care? My kids are doing well thanks.

I worked at a summer camp *making money and paying for my own meals* the summer after high school. I spent my college summers 1) working at a camp, i2) nterning at a newspaper, 3) running my college's student newspaper and then graduated with a job.

Your kids are mooching and not paying for their own meals and entertainment. Huh.

congrats. I too worked at a summer camp. A sleep-away one. Made $500.

Uh, plus your own room and board, dum-dum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I guess I am just going to buy less and when the food is gone, it's gone.
I just have to change how I view things.

Yeah, that's where it starts.

Then you need to ASSIGN THEM THINGS TO CONTRIBUTE. You know, like grown-ups who are frequent family guests do?

And if you don't change your ways, stop complaining and accept your choices.

I wouldn't be comfortable with that. Though niece brought a dessert last time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it funny people are trying to attack OP's "adult" children. Why is that?

Take the air quotes away honey, because 18 and 20 are adults. When I was 18, I was working and earning my own money and paying for my own entertainment and food. Her adult offspring are no better than the older moochers, yet she seems to think her offspring = great and the other adults in the equation = awful.

Your kids must find you a *blast* to hang out with.

[Anonymous]

Lots of great people have flaws. I think it's wonderful that your kids have such a good relationship with their older cousins. You just need to figure out a way to host these folks that doesn't wear you out. You have not mentioned money as a problem, so I think take-out is your friend. If money is an issue, then roast a couple hams or do pot luck. You do not have to provide soda's -- try water, iced tea, or LaCroix. Or, if you do want to provide sodas, do 2L bottles to spare your recycling.

Honestly, reading between the lines, it sounds like you are judging these folks a bit for their eating habits. It sounds like 2/3 of them are struggling with serious obesity, which is a huge problem for them, but your judging them is not helpful. These are your family. You can show them love, and you can host them well, without judging or enabling them. If you cannot host them without judging them, then suggest that your kids travel to visit them, instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three adult (28-31 yrs) nieces and nephews come over about once a month to hang out with my 18, 20 year old kids.
I do a special grocery shop but it's never enough. They stay for 12 hours which feels really long. They live an hour away.

When the three of them come, we go through 48 soda cans, 8 bags of chips, ice cream, fruit trays, cookies. I end up doing two full meals since they are here so long. I do salads, order four large pizzas for them along with wings and garlic bread. Then I order in Chinese for dinner. They will eat everything I put in front of them and it's a full time job keeping the food coming, lol.

I used to cook but it was way too much work. Last time I barbecued some burgers and they had THREE burgers in a sitting with buns and all the fixings plus sides.

Honestly, the visits are taking too much out of me. Are they extreme eaters? I feel bad even posting it but it seems they go hog wild when they are here.

Okay. something seems really off. 48 cans of soda for let's say all seven of you? So that's more than 6 cans per person? And a bag of chips per person? I assume you don't mean the little snack lunch size?

Buy a liter of soda and then it's water after that. Water from the sink.

Each of the adult siblings had three burgers each?

I'm just finding all of this really hard to believe.

The OP clarified that 2 of the 3 visiting cousins are obese. That kind of explains some of the extreme consumption of soda and food. It all sounds super unhealthy and gross--and a terrible influence for OP's kids.

Um, OP doesn't have "kids" at home: She has adults at home. If they haven't figured out some good eating habits by now, I don't think cousins are the problem.

My one son is a workout Fanatic and he watched his food big time. The other one is average. I'm not worried.

Your adult kids live at home, and apparently haven't figured out that they need to pay for their own Chinese take-out. You should be worried.

They just turned 18 and 20. One just finished highschool last month. Where else would he live? The other attends college and is home for summer. College is 45 min away so he comes home on weekend during the year.

Why do you care? My kids are doing well thanks.

I worked at a summer camp *making money and paying for my own meals* the summer after high school. I spent my college summers 1) working at a camp, i2) nterning at a newspaper, 3) running my college's student newspaper and then graduated with a job.

Your kids are mooching and not paying for their own meals and entertainment. Huh.

congrats. I too worked at a summer camp. A sleep-away one. Made $500.

Uh, plus your own room and board, dum-dum.

Which is free at home anyway so what good is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it funny people are trying to attack OP's "adult" children. Why is that?

Take the air quotes away honey, because 18 and 20 are adults. When I was 18, I was working and earning my own money and paying for my own entertainment and food. Her adult offspring are no better than the older moochers, yet she seems to think her offspring = great and the other adults in the equation = awful.

You sound jealous.

Jealous of 400-pound, soda-guzzling losers who hang out with their teen cousins and middle-aged aunt all the time?

Jealous you had to earn your own way.

What, like an adult?

I didn't have to. I would have been welcome at my parents' house, provided I had at least a part-time job in the summer. But working part-time at The Limited wasn't going to get me a job as a journalist at a major newspaper; my experience and internships in newspapers absolutely did.

See how that works?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of great people have flaws. I think it's wonderful that your kids have such a good relationship with their older cousins. You just need to figure out a way to host these folks that doesn't wear you out. You have not mentioned money as a problem, so I think take-out is your friend. If money is an issue, then roast a couple hams or do pot luck. You do not have to provide soda's -- try water, iced tea, or LaCroix. Or, if you do want to provide sodas, do 2L bottles to spare your recycling.

Honestly, reading between the lines, it sounds like you are judging these folks a bit for their eating habits. It sounds like 2/3 of them are struggling with serious obesity, which is a huge problem for them, but your judging them is not helpful. These are your family. You can show them love, and you can host them well, without judging or enabling them. If you cannot host them without judging them, then suggest that your kids travel to visit them, instead.

OP here. Best advice so far.

I think I have tried so hard and it's never enough food. Also I do probably spend a $150-200 each time which adds up over the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three adult (28-31 yrs) nieces and nephews come over about once a month to hang out with my 18, 20 year old kids.
I do a special grocery shop but it's never enough. They stay for 12 hours which feels really long. They live an hour away.

When the three of them come, we go through 48 soda cans, 8 bags of chips, ice cream, fruit trays, cookies. I end up doing two full meals since they are here so long. I do salads, order four large pizzas for them along with wings and garlic bread. Then I order in Chinese for dinner. They will eat everything I put in front of them and it's a full time job keeping the food coming, lol.

I used to cook but it was way too much work. Last time I barbecued some burgers and they had THREE burgers in a sitting with buns and all the fixings plus sides.

Honestly, the visits are taking too much out of me. Are they extreme eaters? I feel bad even posting it but it seems they go hog wild when they are here.

Okay. something seems really off. 48 cans of soda for let's say all seven of you? So that's more than 6 cans per person? And a bag of chips per person? I assume you don't mean the little snack lunch size?

Buy a liter of soda and then it's water after that. Water from the sink.

Each of the adult siblings had three burgers each?

I'm just finding all of this really hard to believe.

I would like to know the average weight of the cousins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it funny people are trying to attack OP's "adult" children. Why is that?

Take the air quotes away honey, because 18 and 20 are adults. When I was 18, I was working and earning my own money and paying for my own entertainment and food. Her adult offspring are no better than the older moochers, yet she seems to think her offspring = great and the other adults in the equation = awful.

You sound jealous.

Jealous of 400-pound, soda-guzzling losers who hang out with their teen cousins and middle-aged aunt all the time?

Jealous you had to earn your own way.

What, like an adult?

I didn't have to. I would have been welcome at my parents' house, provided I had at least a part-time job in the summer. But working part-time at The Limited wasn't going to get me a job as a journalist at a major newspaper; my experience and internships in newspapers absolutely did.

See how that works?

See how what works? You sound unhappy. Maybe take a vacation honey. Working so hard has hardened you.

I have had a luxurious life. Worst 3 million at 44 and never worked FT in my entire life. I win.

[Anonymous]

* worth 3 million

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My three adult (28-31 yrs) nieces and nephews come over about once a month to hang out with my 18, 20 year old kids.
I do a special grocery shop but it's never enough. They stay for 12 hours which feels really long. They live an hour away.

When the three of them come, we go through 48 soda cans, 8 bags of chips, ice cream, fruit trays, cookies. I end up doing two full meals since they are here so long. I do salads, order four large pizzas for them along with wings and garlic bread. Then I order in Chinese for dinner. They will eat everything I put in front of them and it's a full time job keeping the food coming, lol.

I used to cook but it was way too much work. Last time I barbecued some burgers and they had THREE burgers in a sitting with buns and all the fixings plus sides.

Honestly, the visits are taking too much out of me. Are they extreme eaters? I feel bad even posting it but it seems they go hog wild when they are here.

Okay. something seems really off. 48 cans of soda for let's say all seven of you? So that's more than 6 cans per person? And a bag of chips per person? I assume you don't mean the little snack lunch size?

Buy a liter of soda and then it's water after that. Water from the sink.

Each of the adult siblings had three burgers each?

I'm just finding all of this really hard to believe.

The OP clarified that 2 of the 3 visiting cousins are obese. That kind of explains some of the extreme consumption of soda and food. It all sounds super unhealthy and gross--and a terrible influence for OP's kids.

Um, OP doesn't have "kids" at home: She has adults at home. If they haven't figured out some good eating habits by now, I don't think cousins are the problem.

My one son is a workout Fanatic and he watched his food big time. The other one is average. I'm not worried.

Your adult kids live at home, and apparently haven't figured out that they need to pay for their own Chinese take-out. You should be worried.

They just turned 18 and 20. One just finished highschool last month. Where else would he live? The other attends college and is home for summer. College is 45 min away so he comes home on weekend during the year.

Why do you care? My kids are doing well thanks.

I worked at a summer camp *making money and paying for my own meals* the summer after high school. I spent my college summers 1) working at a camp, i2) nterning at a newspaper, 3) running my college's student newspaper and then graduated with a job.

Your kids are mooching and not paying for their own meals and entertainment. Huh.

My kids work FT for the summer.
They aren't mooching. They tell me that they can make sandwiches. But that's not how I roll.

Oh, FFS. Then quit complaining.