Relationship Question - traveling (NOT a travel question)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:100% of the time, I do not (nor do our children) go on work trips with my husband. Not for lack of asking. I have wanted to go to two destinations he was working at in the past 20 years, and figured it would be fun for me to tag along, and do touristy things during the day (without him, with no pressure on his time or energy) and spend the nights having hotel sex.

Nope. He refused. And refused. And refused. And still refuses. These places are NOT places he'd want to go on a vacation, either, (although I would) so we won't be going back there.

It irritates me.

+1

Especially if the other coworkers are taking their families, which they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% of the time, I do not (nor do our children) go on work trips with my husband. Not for lack of asking. I have wanted to go to two destinations he was working at in the past 20 years, and figured it would be fun for me to tag along, and do touristy things during the day (without him, with no pressure on his time or energy) and spend the nights having hotel sex.

Nope. He refused. And refused. And refused. And still refuses. These places are NOT places he'd want to go on a vacation, either, (although I would) so we won't be going back there.

It irritates me.

+1

Especially if the other coworkers are taking their families, which they are.

I dated a lawyer who had to travel a lot for work. The fact he let me travel with him - encouraged me too, in fact - really helped our relationship. I’m super independent when I travel if need be though. Sometimes we would basically only see each other long enough for us to have sex because he was working long hours and sometimes had to go out with work colleagues without me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you stop using weird pronouns? Your kid is not “they.” Why would you go on work trips with him? Are you saying he doesn’t want to vacation with the family? I still don’t get it.

What pronoun do you use for multiple kids? OP says "DC are" and calls them "kids" so there are clearly more than one.

[Anonymous]

You mentioned in your OP that you know why your DH doesn’t want to bring the children/child, and that the children/child will soon figure it out. What is that reason?

[Anonymous]

PP....mentioned in your second response

[Anonymous]

My DH is in Miami now...which many would consider a nice vacation destination. We are at home b.c he is trapped in training all dang day in the burbs not in a speedo on South Beach. He has to be up at 6 so hes not going out to the club either afterwards. There is no point in us going.

The major benefit of a travelling spouse is the Marriot points so we can do stuff on our own. Sit your DH down and decide together a non work related trip he would LIKE to go on

[Anonymous]

Take your kids and go have the vacation that you want to have.

[Anonymous]

I’ve traveled with my DH many times and enjoyed the local things while he worked. If the OP and her children want to go, and the room is paid for, why not? One place my DH travels to has amazing local amenities and the rooms are 700.00 a night. Since his company pays for it, I definitely go. He enjoys me tagging along and I take my IPad and books to keep busy in the evenings, or watch TV. I think the OP’s husband is being very selfish and I would question why I couldn’t go along as long as I occupied myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% of the time, I do not (nor do our children) go on work trips with my husband. Not for lack of asking. I have wanted to go to two destinations he was working at in the past 20 years, and figured it would be fun for me to tag along, and do touristy things during the day (without him, with no pressure on his time or energy) and spend the nights having hotel sex.

Nope. He refused. And refused. And refused. And still refuses. These places are NOT places he'd want to go on a vacation, either, (although I would) so we won't be going back there.

It irritates me.

+1

Especially if the other coworkers are taking their families, which they are.

Guess what. His work is already your gravy train. He does not need to drag you along on the trip to. You have no shame?

[Anonymous]

My DH is an international business attorney. I’ve been on a few trips with him. We hardly see each other at all on these trips. He is beyond busy. I’m basically on a trip by myself & I am ok with that. But that was before kids. I would NEVER bring the kids. Too stressful for all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% of the time, I do not (nor do our children) go on work trips with my husband. Not for lack of asking. I have wanted to go to two destinations he was working at in the past 20 years, and figured it would be fun for me to tag along, and do touristy things during the day (without him, with no pressure on his time or energy) and spend the nights having hotel sex.

Nope. He refused. And refused. And refused. And still refuses. These places are NOT places he'd want to go on a vacation, either, (although I would) so we won't be going back there.

It irritates me.

+1

Especially if the other coworkers are taking their families, which they are.

Guess what. His work is already your gravy train. He does not need to drag you along on the trip to. You have no shame?

WTH does this even mean? Whose gravy train? The wife makes more than the husband, and the wife is using her miles, so no. Nice try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve traveled with my DH many times and enjoyed the local things while he worked. If the OP and her children want to go, and the room is paid for, why not? One place my DH travels to has amazing local amenities and the rooms are 700.00 a night. Since his company pays for it, I definitely go. He enjoys me tagging along and I take my IPad and books to keep busy in the evenings, or watch TV. I think the OP’s husband is being very selfish and I would question why I couldn’t go along as long as I occupied myself.[/quote]

+1

Seems like some of the PPs have no idea how to travel and/or occupy themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:100% of the time, I do not (nor do our children) go on work trips with my husband. Not for lack of asking. I have wanted to go to two destinations he was working at in the past 20 years, and figured it would be fun for me to tag along, and do touristy things during the day (without him, with no pressure on his time or energy) and spend the nights having hotel sex.

Nope. He refused. And refused. And refused. And still refuses. These places are NOT places he'd want to go on a vacation, either, (although I would) so we won't be going back there.

It irritates me.

+1

Especially if the other coworkers are taking their families, which they are.

Guess what. His work is already your gravy train. He does not need to drag you along on the trip to. You have no shame?

WTH does this even mean? Whose gravy train? The wife makes more than the husband, and the wife is using her miles, so no. Nice try.

Nice try to her. No working mom would make these arguments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve traveled with my DH many times and enjoyed the local things while he worked. If the OP and her children want to go, and the room is paid for, why not? One place my DH travels to has amazing local amenities and the rooms are 700.00 a night. Since his company pays for it, I definitely go. He enjoys me tagging along and I take my IPad and books to keep busy in the evenings, or watch TV. I think the OP’s husband is being very selfish and I would question why I couldn’t go along as long as I occupied myself.

Because sometimes when you’re on a stressful business trip you don’t want to come back to a hotel room full of a wife and kids. Sounds like she’s the one being selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve traveled with my DH many times and enjoyed the local things while he worked. If the OP and her children want to go, and the room is paid for, why not? One place my DH travels to has amazing local amenities and the rooms are 700.00 a night. Since his company pays for it, I definitely go. He enjoys me tagging along and I take my IPad and books to keep busy in the evenings, or watch TV. I think the OP’s husband is being very selfish and I would question why I couldn’t go along as long as I occupied myself.

Maybe OP says she can occupy herself and the kids, but in reality she is really needy. Her husband doesn’t want to play cruise director while he is trying to work.