Life after church & not believing in God

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You spent 9 years attending a church and don’t know what kind of church it was?

Good evidence of trolling...

+1

Not really, there are "nondenominational" community churches -- often they are fundamentalist (strict adherence to the Bible), but not always and they don't have the same set of rules that a denominational church (e.g., pentecostal, Baptist) would have.

Right, but it’s ridiculous to claim you attended a church for 9 years and don’t know what church you attended.

That's complete B.S. Amongst Protestants, there are a gazillion different flavors. I grew up ALC Lutheran (which later was part of the merger that became the current ELCA) and also was kind of cornered into spending equal amount of time at an Assembly of God church (playing piano for friends of my family who had changed churches, formed a gospel singing group, and needed an accompaniest). Can't say I'm an expert on all the fine points of doctrine, but at the time I would characterize the Assembly as a pentacostal church in that the focus was on the "gifts of the spirit". I think there were seven, but the only ones I remember are speaking in tongues and something that caused you to fall unconscious on the floor. Those events were routine and to my 14 year old self absolutely terrifying. Evangelizing I think has more to do with prosyletizing--as in the disciples (well, Paul, really) going out and converting people.

Doctrinal disagreements are legion--the church my great grandparents belonged to, a Norwegian Lutheran church, split in the early 1900s over baptism by immersion vs. sprinkling; infant vs. adult baptism is another disputed area. Among Lutherans (leaving the Missouri Synod aside, which did not join the ELCA and firmly rejects ecumenicalism--defrocked a pastor who participated in an interfaith service after 9-11) there are "free" Lutheran churches which reject the ELCA (too liberal) and probably have some kind of organization of their own--traditionally, churches are connected with seminaries who supply their pastors. These days, of course, you have people who start their own churches, some of which become megachurches.

It's perfectly understandable that someone who attended as a teen wouldn't understand all the religious and doctrinal politics that go on, especially if the message was that the church (like many churches) insisted it was the only one based on the Bible.

As an adult, once I stopped being terrified of dying and going to hell in my sleep if I did not pray, and started learning more about other religions and the fact that they, too, have sacred texts, stories of miracles, and so on, I caught on that the idea of one religion having a monopoly is absurd. I still feel a kinship with the creeds, the hymns, and the ritual of the church I was raised in (could never figure out what the ritual at the Assembly was, just that there was no end to their services) and I attend a UU church.

OP, you do not HAVE to belong to a faith or attend a church. . . or synagogue, or temple, or mosque. The Dalai Lama was once reported to have said he felt Westerners raised in the Christian faith should likely stick to that as opposed to seeking out Eastern religions as a kind of cultural authenticity thing--meaning also that neither did his own religion have a monopoly. Feel free to explore different religions, though, and considering attending services at various centers of faith.

As for hypocrites, they come in all faiths as well as none.

As for reading the Bible, language and translation are always going to affect how it reads; even "literal" translations are based on the understanding of what the original words meant at the time they were written down (after being passed along orally for decades or even millennia).

There are a bazillion churches, but attending one for 9 years and not knowing the name of it and the denomination is absolute trollery.

Or maybe the troll is the one who continuously accuses someone of being a troll. OP may have reasons for not giving the "Name" - It was easy enough to get the idea of what kind of church was being described and others have since commented on having similar experiences.

[Anonymous]

I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op, I may understand what you're talking about. I went with my family to a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church from age 5 - 18. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_and_Missionary_Alliance

My parents worked for a Christian organization called Campus Crusade for Christ, although the name has changed a couple times. The focus was Christian Evangelism. Have you ever heard of the 4 spiritual laws booklet?

Between church and work, our entire life was about training and approaching people to save their souls, etc. It was harshly judgemental. I went to public school but wasn't allowed to attend anything nonchristian, not even a school bbq. Their point of me being in public school was that I was to convert people to our church, and for them to become Christians. We knocked on doors, my parents approached strangers constantly with little booklets, asking if they know Jesus personally.

I was always confused exactly what denomination I was. I was raised Catholic until 5 when my parents converted. We worked with many Baptists and other strict Christian denominations. Bill Gothard training was part of our church, similar to the Duggar family beliefs. I suppose we were Evangelical Protestants.

Lots of hypocrisy like you said!

I married young, to someone from church. We both felt the same and tried a number of other churches. We socially attended off and on. I do feel like I lost my teen years. My parents were very abusive as well, mostly behind closed doors. I needed therapy when I had my own children. I didn't know myself and I didn't mature with all the extreme control in my life.

I'm ambivalant, probably agnostic. I have my own peace in life.

Thanks for sharing your story, pp. It ceartinly shows that OP is not alone - and has a credible story.

Here's a question for you: How are you raising your children with respect to religion?

My children are in their twenties now. None of us have attended church since they were teenagers. When they were little we attended a casual church on Sundays. It was a good atmosphere, much more light hearted than how I grew up. We had baby dedication services for both. They attended Sunday School, Vacation Bible Schools at our own church and also at other churches with friends. They were exposed to a few denominations, but only if they wanted to be there. They went to middle school youth groups and many of their friends were there.

[Anonymous]

I grew up a religious Catholic, helped out a church bazaars and made ethnic church food and did other church events together with family. But I questioned the existence of god in high school, then college, lost faith, and never went back. And it was only AFTER then that I really looked at how men in power use the bible to to take away women's choices and keep them subservient to men, and only after THAT that all the sex scandals with Catholic priests broke. So nope. No thanks. I will teach my daughter about religion and let her decide what to do for herself, but she's not going down the same road I took.

I'm an atheist but my daughter is one of the kindest and most rule-following kids in her class. You don't need religion to be a good person. In fact, I sometimes look at religious people with suspicion now, given the terrible things that we have seen people use religion to effectuate or excuse. There is such hypocrisy there, but people can be very blind to it for a very long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

Religion is a personal choice and belief. Atheists can comment on their experience and belief or lack of, but that only. Each person has a personal relationship with God and that relationship isn’t subject to other people’s experiences or opinions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

Religion is a personal choice and belief. Atheists can comment on their experience and belief or lack of, but that only. Each person has a personal relationship with God and that relationship isn’t subject to other people’s experiences or opinions.

"Atheists can comment on their experience and belief or lack of, but that only"? Explain, please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

I think on this board in particular, there is a tremendous amount of ignorance on almost any religious topic, and not just from atheists, but believers as well. It's just a lot of people who are very opinionated and don't seem to have any substantial knowledge about what they want to talk about. My suspicion is they decide whether they believe or not as teens and never really learn anything after that, but because they read the Bible in Sunday school or whatever they feel they know things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

Religion is a personal choice and belief. Atheists can comment on their experience and belief or lack of, but that only. Each person has a personal relationship with God and that relationship isn’t subject to other people’s experiences or opinions.

"Atheists can comment on their experience and belief or lack of, but that only"? Explain, please?

It just another religious person who thinks they have the authority from God to make rules for everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

I think on this board in particular, there is a tremendous amount of ignorance on almost any religious topic, and not just from atheists, but believers as well. It's just a lot of people who are very opinionated and don't seem to have any substantial knowledge about what they want to talk about. My suspicion is they decide whether they believe or not as teens and never really learn anything after that, but because they read the Bible in Sunday school or whatever they feel they know things.

Not really -- people become religious or irreligious at any age. These days, most adults have been raised in a religion, but more and more children are being raised by parents who have given up religion, so there are more child atheists.

Also, many people are curious about religion, at all ages, so get involved with it on their own - either through study or going around to different churches or church-sponsored youth activities with their friends. They may become more religious or less religious, based on personal reaction to their studies or experiences.

Plus, your statement "It's just a lot of people who are very opinionated and don't seem to have any substantial knowledge about what they want to talk about" could easily apply to the political forum or other forums on DCUM. THere's no requirement to be knowledgeable to post here - only interested and opinionated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

Religion is a personal choice and belief. Atheists can comment on their experience and belief or lack of, but that only. Each person has a personal relationship with God and that relationship isn’t subject to other people’s experiences or opinions.

Religion was not a "personal choice" for OP and many others. Children are routinely indoctrinated into their parents' religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

Religion is a personal choice and belief. Atheists can comment on their experience and belief or lack of, but that only. Each person has a personal relationship with God and that relationship isn’t subject to other people’s experiences or opinions.

"Atheists can comment on their experience and belief or lack of, but that only"? Explain, please?

It just another religious person who thinks they have the authority from God to make rules for everyone.

Each religion has their own rules, beliefs, and traditions. Each religion has doctrine. Unless you are a Muslim, their rules don’t apply. Not Jewish? Rules don’t apply? Don’t believe in the Christian God? Rules don’t apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm always fascinated by how defensive (many) religious people get when some talk about leaving religion. They must be a troll or not have read (insert religious text) enough. Those are the only explanations.

It's... just fascinating.

They also sometimes assume, with great assuredness, that atheists can't comment on religion with any authority, because they are not religious themselves. It doesn't occur to them that most atheists these days were raised in a religion -- and it was instrumental in making them atheists.

I think on this board in particular, there is a tremendous amount of ignorance on almost any religious topic, and not just from atheists, but believers as well. It's just a lot of people who are very opinionated and don't seem to have any substantial knowledge about what they want to talk about. My suspicion is they decide whether they believe or not as teens and never really learn anything after that, but because they read the Bible in Sunday school or whatever they feel they know things.

Not really -- people become religious or irreligious at any age. These days, most adults have been raised in a religion, but more and more children are being raised by parents who have given up religion, so there are more child atheists.

Also, many people are curious about religion, at all ages, so get involved with it on their own - either through study or going around to different churches or church-sponsored youth activities with their friends. They may become more religious or less religious, based on personal reaction to their studies or experiences.

Plus, your statement "It's just a lot of people who are very opinionated and don't seem to have any substantial knowledge about what they want to talk about" could easily apply to the political forum or other forums on DCUM. THere's no requirement to be knowledgeable to post here - only interested and opinionated.

No, the religion forum is particularly dumb. I like DCUM because there are frequently very thoughtful posts on many forums on this site, but IME the posters on the religion forum are the least insightful and the least knowledgeable. There are just a lot of bitter atheists and the occasional religious weirdo here.

[Anonymous]

As if the vast majority of Christians out there haven’t merely accepted what their own parents taught them about god and what they learned during school rather than reading up on a many of different religions and becoming religious scholars in their spare time. The number of “religious” people who accept what is taught to them as children is far greater than the number of atheists who have done so imho. I started as a believer, questioned the existence of god (including through conversations with my priest), and decided god did not exist, but I guess that was just an easy path I took as a teen compared to all the people around me who suddenly became free thinkers and religious scholars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As if the vast majority of Christians out there haven’t merely accepted what their own parents taught them about god and what they learned during school rather than reading up on a many of different religions and becoming religious scholars in their spare time. The number of “religious” people who accept what is taught to them as children is far greater than the number of atheists who have done so imho. I started as a believer, questioned the existence of god (including through conversations with my priest), and decided god did not exist, but I guess that was just an easy path I took as a teen compared to all the people around me who suddenly became free thinkers and religious scholars.

How do you know what the “vast majority” of Christians do? The United States has the largest Christian population in the world, with nearly 240 million Christians, although other countries have higher percentages of Christians among their populations. You’ve spoken and studied and questioned and have insight into the lives of over 200 million people?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianity_in_the_United_States