Life after church & not believing in God
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
I was Catholic, not Christian. I am now agnostic. Attending church DOESN'T make one a good person. Good deeds and kindness make one a good person. |
Anonymous
Agree with this, but it probably wouldn't work for staunch conservatives. Is there a community without dogma and pressure for them? |
Anonymous
That’s true. You definitely can be a good person whether you are atheist or Muslim or whatever. I think the question of what makes a person “good” or bad is super complex. But I am specifically talking about Christian spirituality and whether it is Biblically correct to worship alone with just your family and no larger community. |
Anonymous
Np. The discussion is about life AFTER church. |
Anonymous
So judgmental. im a practicing Catholic and you decided to feel put down ... dogma is a very important step to spirituality that can’t be skipped. Well it sort of can be by profit but that is because they learned all that in a past life. |
Anonymous
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Op, I may understand what you're talking about. I went with my family to a Christian and Missionary Alliance Church from age 5 - 18. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christian_and_Missionary_Alliance
My parents worked for a Christian organization called Campus Crusade for Christ, although the name has changed a couple times. The focus was Christian Evangelism. Have you ever heard of the 4 spiritual laws booklet? Between church and work, our entire life was about training and approaching people to save their souls, etc. It was harshly judgemental. I went to public school but wasn't allowed to attend anything nonchristian, not even a school bbq. Their point of me being in public school was that I was to convert people to our church, and for them to become Christians. We knocked on doors, my parents approached strangers constantly with little booklets, asking if they know Jesus personally. I was always confused exactly what denomination I was. I was raised Catholic until 5 when my parents converted. We worked with many Baptists and other strict Christian denominations. Bill Gothard training was part of our church, similar to the Duggar family beliefs. I suppose we were Evangelical Protestants. Lots of hypocrisy like you said! I married young, to someone from church. We both felt the same and tried a number of other churches. We socially attended off and on. I do feel like I lost my teen years. My parents were very abusive as well, mostly behind closed doors. I needed therapy when I had my own children. I didn't know myself and I didn't mature with all the extreme control in my life. I'm ambivalant, probably agnostic. I have my own peace in life. |
Anonymous
Thanks for sharing your story, pp. It ceartinly shows that OP is not alone - and has a credible story. Here's a question for you: How are you raising your children with respect to religion? |
Anonymous
There are lots of spiritual-but-not-religious people out there who are doing just fine without a Christian community, plus they have some extra money in their pockets to give to causes they support that don't demand that they think, judge or believe in a particular way. |
Anonymous
What does that even mean? No one in my church is judging me or telling me what to do or even how much to give. You do you, but the foundation of Christianity is relationships- with Jesus, with your family, with everyone you meet. If you are not Christian to begin with I’m sure you are doing great but the point was not directed at you. |
Anonymous
Op here. Thank you for sharing! I definitely feel at peace in my own life right now which is something I never felt before. |
Anonymous
That's complete B.S. Amongst Protestants, there are a gazillion different flavors. I grew up ALC Lutheran (which later was part of the merger that became the current ELCA) and also was kind of cornered into spending equal amount of time at an Assembly of God church (playing piano for friends of my family who had changed churches, formed a gospel singing group, and needed an accompaniest). Can't say I'm an expert on all the fine points of doctrine, but at the time I would characterize the Assembly as a pentacostal church in that the focus was on the "gifts of the spirit". I think there were seven, but the only ones I remember are speaking in tongues and something that caused you to fall unconscious on the floor. Those events were routine and to my 14 year old self absolutely terrifying. Evangelizing I think has more to do with prosyletizing--as in the disciples (well, Paul, really) going out and converting people. Doctrinal disagreements are legion--the church my great grandparents belonged to, a Norwegian Lutheran church, split in the early 1900s over baptism by immersion vs. sprinkling; infant vs. adult baptism is another disputed area. Among Lutherans (leaving the Missouri Synod aside, which did not join the ELCA and firmly rejects ecumenicalism--defrocked a pastor who participated in an interfaith service after 9-11) there are "free" Lutheran churches which reject the ELCA (too liberal) and probably have some kind of organization of their own--traditionally, churches are connected with seminaries who supply their pastors. These days, of course, you have people who start their own churches, some of which become megachurches. It's perfectly understandable that someone who attended as a teen wouldn't understand all the religious and doctrinal politics that go on, especially if the message was that the church (like many churches) insisted it was the only one based on the Bible. As an adult, once I stopped being terrified of dying and going to hell in my sleep if I did not pray, and started learning more about other religions and the fact that they, too, have sacred texts, stories of miracles, and so on, I caught on that the idea of one religion having a monopoly is absurd. I still feel a kinship with the creeds, the hymns, and the ritual of the church I was raised in (could never figure out what the ritual at the Assembly was, just that there was no end to their services) and I attend a UU church. OP, you do not HAVE to belong to a faith or attend a church. . . or synagogue, or temple, or mosque. The Dalai Lama was once reported to have said he felt Westerners raised in the Christian faith should likely stick to that as opposed to seeking out Eastern religions as a kind of cultural authenticity thing--meaning also that neither did his own religion have a monopoly. Feel free to explore different religions, though, and considering attending services at various centers of faith. As for hypocrites, they come in all faiths as well as none. As for reading the Bible, language and translation are always going to affect how it reads; even "literal" translations are based on the understanding of what the original words meant at the time they were written down (after being passed along orally for decades or even millennia). |
Anonymous
OP, my experience is similar to the above and I understand where you are coming from. I actually had to spend a lot of time in therapy unwinding some of the traumatic things I was taught as a child growing up in this environment. I'm also agnostic now and have more peace than I ever did as part of a church (and I was part of many over the years). But I do grieve that I lost a lot of years of my life to unhealthy church environments and teachings. I think you may enjoy The Liturgists podcast. The content is interesting and explores the place you are in, plus there is also a community of like-minded people that has developed among listeners. |
Anonymous
I was Christian to begin with - in a church that was heavy on rules and sin and tithing and light on community. Then other churches with wonderful communities and beautiful music and ritual. I eventually left because I no longer believed, though the community would have beenfine with me staying. I didn't like going through the motions. |
Anonymous
There are a bazillion churches, but attending one for 9 years and not knowing the name of it and the denomination is absolute trollery. |