Husband and I butting heads about grandparents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any decision is reasonable. Since you are posting here, obviously you feel strongly.

+1 I would pull the kids from the summer day camp because it is only daycare. Let them go have fun with their grandparents.

You need to choose better camps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely do this unless kids didn’t wNt to. Time with grandparents way more important than time at camp.

Did you miss the part where the "grands" saw them 2 weeks ago, and will be on vacation with them in another two weeks?

But, but, FAMILY!!!

I didn’t miss that there will be other visits. What difference does that make? I don’t understand the hostility to the idea. Someone wrote “but but Family” like that’s ridiculous, but family IS important. Certainly there is no obligation but if grandparents want to see the kids and the kids are good with it, why not? Camp is not a big deal. The hour drive may or may not be a big deal, OP makes it sound like a minor inconvenience. I drive over an hour to work every day so I don’t think that’s a big deal. If the preexisting plan were actually important, if the kids didn’t want to go, if the grandparents aren’t good caregivers, then sure, skip it. But for camp? Camp is nothing. But who am I to talk? My parents got cancer and died (not the same year) unexpectedly. Here one day and gone the next is what it felt like. You guys, so selfish, mocking the idea of family like it’s nothing, I feel like you don’t even deserve to have parents that love your kids so much they actually want to see them. It makes me so angry! You have no idea how good you have it, for these people to be in the world who love your kids and you act like it’s more of a hassle than anything else.[/quote


^^^^^this X 1,000. All four grandparents in this family have passed and I would so love for my kids to have those relationships. This makes sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely do this unless kids didn’t wNt to. Time with grandparents way more important than time at camp.

Did you miss the part where the "grands" saw them 2 weeks ago, and will be on vacation with them in another two weeks?

But, but, FAMILY!!!

I didn’t miss that there will be other visits. What difference does that make? I don’t understand the hostility to the idea. Someone wrote “but but Family” like that’s ridiculous, but family IS important. Certainly there is no obligation but if grandparents want to see the kids and the kids are good with it, why not? Camp is not a big deal. The hour drive may or may not be a big deal, OP makes it sound like a minor inconvenience. I drive over an hour to work every day so I don’t think that’s a big deal. If the preexisting plan were actually important, if the kids didn’t want to go, if the grandparents aren’t good caregivers, then sure, skip it. But for camp? Camp is nothing. But who am I to talk? My parents got cancer and died (not the same year) unexpectedly. Here one day and gone the next is what it felt like. You guys, so selfish, mocking the idea of family like it’s nothing, I feel like you don’t even deserve to have parents that love your kids so much they actually want to see them. It makes me so angry! You have no idea how good you have it, for these people to be in the world who love your kids and you act like it’s more of a hassle than anything else.[/quote


^^^^^this X 1,000. All four grandparents in this family have passed and I would so love for my kids to have those relationships. This makes sad.

So you think that kids, and grandkids, should be at the beck and call of grandparents, and drop everything whenever the grandparents say so?

That's both unhealthy and ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would absolutely do this unless kids didn’t wNt to. Time with grandparents way more important than time at camp.

Did you miss the part where the "grands" saw them 2 weeks ago, and will be on vacation with them in another two weeks?

But, but, FAMILY!!!

I didn’t miss that there will be other visits. What difference does that make? I don’t understand the hostility to the idea. Someone wrote “but but Family” like that’s ridiculous, but family IS important. Certainly there is no obligation but if grandparents want to see the kids and the kids are good with it, why not? Camp is not a big deal. The hour drive may or may not be a big deal, OP makes it sound like a minor inconvenience. I drive over an hour to work every day so I don’t think that’s a big deal. If the preexisting plan were actually important, if the kids didn’t want to go, if the grandparents aren’t good caregivers, then sure, skip it. But for camp? Camp is nothing. But who am I to talk? My parents got cancer and died (not the same year) unexpectedly. Here one day and gone the next is what it felt like. You guys, so selfish, mocking the idea of family like it’s nothing, I feel like you don’t even deserve to have parents that love your kids so much they actually want to see them. It makes me so angry! You have no idea how good you have it, for these people to be in the world who love your kids and you act like it’s more of a hassle than anything else.[/quote


^^^^^this X 1,000. All four grandparents in this family have passed and I would so love for my kids to have those relationships. This makes sad.

So you think that kids, and grandkids, should be at the beck and call of grandparents, and drop everything whenever the grandparents say so?

That's both unhealthy and ridiculous.

No, that’s not what I said at all. I said when the preexisting plan is not important, then why not let them visit. If the kids really wanted to go to the camp, the. Let them go to camp. Or if there another plan the kids really wanted. Here, the kids don’t care. The camp has already been paid for, so that’s a sunk cost. I say choose grandparents over a camp the kids don’t even care about.

[Anonymous]

Have the kids and grandparents write letters to each other or something to receive while they are at camp. This sounds silly unless someone is dying imminently as they've only just seen each other and will be together for a week shortly. I just did a family get together for a week+ and by a week you have had plenty of time together to be quite cozy and well-acquainted regardless of time apart.

[Anonymous]

My kids would no miss camp to spend time with grandparents who live 30 miles away. My parents live 25 miles away and they come for dinner one night a week - yours can do that.

If they wanted several days with the kids, they should have picked their week when you were planning camps or signed them up for a camp near them and had them stay for a week.

[Anonymous]

Is this camp very special? My son only went to one week of camp. I would not have skipped any of it because it was expensive and for a particular hobby. But if he were in a basic "daycare" type camp, I would totally take them out to visit the grandparents. Have them spend time with the grandparents now. In a few years, the kids will find it boring to visit, and the grandparents are only getting older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have the kids and grandparents write letters to each other or something to receive while they are at camp. This sounds silly unless someone is dying imminently as they've only just seen each other and will be together for a week shortly. I just did a family get together for a week+ and by a week you have had plenty of time together to be quite cozy and well-acquainted regardless of time apart.

Letters? It’s a day camp.

[Anonymous]

Just tell the grandparents to come over for dinner one night. They’re being ridiculous about needing alone time to bond with the kids immediately before all of you go on vacation together.

If they’re totally crazy and you want to indulge a little, offer that they take the kids out for ice cream after dinner.

[Anonymous]

These responses are so odd. Do people get this is a day camp? Is there a reason they need to attend every day - like is there a theater production at the end or something? If not, why not ask the kids if they’d rather go to camp or go see grandparents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These responses are so odd. Do people get this is a day camp? Is there a reason they need to attend every day - like is there a theater production at the end or something? If not, why not ask the kids if they’d rather go to camp or go see grandparents?

She said the kids are okay with going to see the grandparents. Kids don’t care either way.

I think OP and her DH probably don’t want to make the drive to drop them off and pick them up during an already busy week. (One hour each way - so 2 extra hours in the car round trip.) If my family was already planning to spend a week vacationing with the grandparents I wouldn’t add this on my plate either. Sounds silly.

[Anonymous]

The OP and husband "butting heads" over this, they are truly are .. and needing to post ...being so passionate about getting your way, all this is far, far worse than one decision vs another.

[Anonymous]

Np but same dilemmas. I always ask if my parents want a week of camp grandma. They don’t. But after I book camps my parents whine about overscheduling and how sad they are to not see my kids all summer. It’s like I can’t win! They then want to see my kids on weekends but that’s my time with the kids. I think deep down they wish I was a sahm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These responses are so odd. Do people get this is a day camp? Is there a reason they need to attend every day - like is there a theater production at the end or something? If not, why not ask the kids if they’d rather go to camp or go see grandparents?

Np. If I pay my kids are going. Day camps take better care of kids too and don’t require driving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These responses are so odd. Do people get this is a day camp? Is there a reason they need to attend every day - like is there a theater production at the end or something? If not, why not ask the kids if they’d rather go to camp or go see grandparents?

Np. If I pay my kids are going. Day camps take better care of kids too and don’t require driving.

If the driving were the issue, the. oP could tell grandparents it’s fine so long as they come pick them up. Better care? What does that even mean? Either the grandparents can take care of them or not. These are ridiculous reasons to say no, IMO.