Sorority Rush

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. Rush seems fairly low key at many schools and DD has made many friends through sorority. Guess it depends on the school.

Yes. But OP specifically said that her DD is attending a large southern school. And that’s a different animal entirely. Once recruitment is over, though, the actual membership experience is fairly comparable. The girls at those schools tend to make strong connections through their sorority as well. Friendships formed among young women during the college years can be so meaningful. I’m glad there are still women-only groups in most universities (ahem—I’m looking at you, Harvard!) as I think women really benefit from banding together to encourage each other and be a support system. And interestingly, the All-sorority GPA is consistently higher on most campuses than the all-women’s GPA. So it looks like there are still some benefits of you want to find them.

Meh. There are women's athletic teams and choral groups at many universities, including Harvard. Women are also free to create and join other single-gender affinity groups if they so choose.

You should actually read what is going on at Harvard, PP, as this is no longer true there.

[Anonymous]

It’s true, many girls headed to college are so interested in rush! I don’t remember hearing as much about it with my older daughter. My youngest DD and her friends seem so caught up in the rush thing as they get ready to go off to college; I’ve even heard of rush coaches (?) for girls at SEC schools. Is it just a giant popularity contest based on who you know, how many Instagram followers you have, things like that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sister went to a big, Southern college. Rush was the week before fall classes. She went early and moved in and my mom didn’t stay (she was in a sorority too, so got the process(.

On day 2, after getting called back from about 5 houses, she decided that she didn’t want a sorority after all. Neither did a couple of other girls on her hall.

The 3 of them spent the week together, exploring the town and getting to know each other. 20 years later they are still good friends.

Had a parent been there, she’d have missed the chance to make those friends, and probably felt more pressure from my mom to go through the rest of rush week.

Cool story, bro. Life is full of “sliding doors” scenarios.
But, of course, the alternate version of this is that Mom stays—encourages daughter to “stick it out” and she ends up pledging one of the amazing houses full of girls who were very excited to extend an invitation to her and made lifelong connections to those girls.
Maybe she also gets to be friends with the other girls on her hall...maybe she doesn’t.
I’m glad your sister is happy with how things turned out. But who knows what was behind Door #3...life is often like that.

Or, whether or not Mom stayed in town, Sis could have pledge a sorority and gone on to inflict pain on other women by playing the spiteful shallow mean girl game.

What a bizarre reaction to paint with such a broad brush. Yes, there is always that top-performing group during recruitment week that is so skilled at marketing their group that everyone wants to join--but they are not allowed to invite EVERY SINGLE PERSON to join at the end of the week. But that doesn't make those girls mean. If they invited all 1800 young women to join their group then they would have 3,500 members in one group and 30 in another. How would the "less popular" group survive?? The way the system is set up is meant to support MANY different opportunities for the maximum number of women. It's PRO-woman!! Sororities are inherently feminist women-only spaces!!
Do you think the girls who drop out when they don't get the house they want (but who are rejecting the girls in the house who wanted THEM) are similarly mean???

[Anonymous]

Can’t stand organized groups that exclude people. It is s symptom of what is wrong in the US today. We need more inclusion and less exclusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s true, many girls headed to college are so interested in rush! I don’t remember hearing as much about it with my older daughter. My youngest DD and her friends seem so caught up in the rush thing as they get ready to go off to college; I’ve even heard of rush coaches (?) for girls at SEC schools. Is it just a giant popularity contest based on who you know, how many Instagram followers you have, things like that?

The intake process can feel like this, PP. But given that there hasn't been a better way created so far, I'd say it's still worth it for the actual experience. There are 26 NPC groups and all of them have chapters that are top at one campus and struggle to recruit new members at another. These groups are lead at the top of their organizations by amazing forward-thinking women who spend hours of time studying what might work better to improve the process so that the maximum number of young women can gain access to the sorority experience and benefit from the empowerment of these women-only spaces. As another PP said, the recruitment model is imperfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t stand organized groups that exclude people. It is s symptom of what is wrong in the US today. We need more inclusion and less exclusion.

So, disband them? Or come up with a better method that allows your preferred "whoever wants to join, pay the dues, agree to these standards of conduct, and come on in" and still all the groups to thrive??? How? Seriously, what's the solution here.

Why do colleges have admission standards and caps on their admissions? Why are the excluding people?? Why can't we just make it "come on in...if you pay tuition and keep get your grades above a 3.0, we'll give you a degree?" Would Harvard survive that way? Why not? And what about UVA, VTech, or GMU? If we could all go to Harvard, would anyone opt to go to UVA, VTech, or GMU? Or would Harvard's enrollment tank and not be that desirable anymore if everyone could go? Would it survive?

I mean, I get what you're saying, PP...but things are not always that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it common to rush sororities at SEC schools freshman year? I wanted DD to look at Alabama and South Carolina for the scholarships. I was kind of hoping that the Honors Colleges would provide community.

Yes, it's common. Very common.
But it's not completely unheard of to wait until sophomore year. In fact, I believe both of those schools have a "sophomore quota" (a number that each sorority can take separately from/in addition to the freshman number) to help with this. But you could probably check their FAQ pages or contact their panhellenic advisor to ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this typical at southern colleges? Big southern colleges? my daughter is only 12 but I will keep in mind the idea to discourage her from applying to whatever cohort of colleges at which this is typical.

+1

[Anonymous]

Having been through Rush myself, I would say this is a good idea if you think your daughter would benefit from having you there as a support.

I thought it was stressful (fun but stressful).

I also would say to ignore all the naysayers on here. People on this website don't understand Greek Life and how important it is at some schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t stand organized groups that exclude people. It is s symptom of what is wrong in the US today. We need more inclusion and less exclusion.

It usually doesn't exclude totally though. Don't all girls end up with a bid somewhere? It might not be your first choice but that's life. No one is friends with everyone and you can't expect every person to like you and want to spend time with you.

[Anonymous]

I was a GDI snob like so many of you but as so often happens, we mock what we don’t understand.

OP, my DD is rushing at a big SEC school. Rushing at Alabama is very different than rushing at Auburn. Is she going to Alabama or did someone assume that? Each school is different. I do wish they made them wait until second semester but otherwise, they seem to do a very good job. Grades are really important and they make a giant school feel smaller. After learning about them and the process, I am fully supportive. If you are on Facebook, join the group for parents of recruits and follow their Panhellenic page too. It’s all come a long way and isn’t the mean, shallow awfulness in some people’s minds.

Yes, it’s stressful . It’s hot, there are a lot of houses to visit, and everyone is nervous and excited. The week is jam packed and exhausting.

Auburn is less Greek so there’s less pressure to rush and it’s more laid back in general. Out of state girls and in state girls are recruited at 50% 50%

Recs are just to get your foot in the door, otherwise they don’t mean much. Our local Panhellenic has a meeting and DD brought 18 copies of her resume so a woman from each chapter could do a rec . This was the main point of the meeting but all the information was helpful.

Best advice we’ve gotten from current girls is to keep an open mind. Don’t get hung up on certain houses. She is choosing them too. Legacy means almost nothing now- don’t worry about that. Wear comfortable clothes and remember that everyone is sweating, not just you. Bring birks or chaccos for walking to and from houses. Eat and sleep.

At Auburn, most girls who “don’t get a house” actually dropped out before the end of the week so it was their choice. There are trained girls in charge of helping all the girls get through the week and how to help the very few who don’t get a bid at all.

She’ll want a waterproof tote, a towel, and an umbrella that week too. They spend a lot of time sitting on the grass so keep that in mind when picking clothes too. They sit on the towels. Order an extra t shirt for philanthropy days - it’s hot!

Happy to help if you have more questions. Hope your daughter has a great time!

[Anonymous]

Does anyone end up not getting a bid at all?

Just curious how all this works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does anyone end up not getting a bid at all?

Just curious how all this works.

Sometimes, yes. But it’s a very small percentage. But keep in mind that some girls also walk in determined to join only a couple houses. Some girls go so far as to purposely ruin their chances at some houses thinking they’re being strategic. Big mistake. If they keep an open mind, they often find they end up in a group that feels authentic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was a GDI snob like so many of you but as so often happens, we mock what we don’t understand.

OP, my DD is rushing at a big SEC school. Rushing at Alabama is very different than rushing at Auburn. Is she going to Alabama or did someone assume that? Each school is different. I do wish they made them wait until second semester but otherwise, they seem to do a very good job. Grades are really important and they make a giant school feel smaller. After learning about them and the process, I am fully supportive. If you are on Facebook, join the group for parents of recruits and follow their Panhellenic page too. It’s all come a long way and isn’t the mean, shallow awfulness in some people’s minds.

Yes, it’s stressful . It’s hot, there are a lot of houses to visit, and everyone is nervous and excited. The week is jam packed and exhausting.

Auburn is less Greek so there’s less pressure to rush and it’s more laid back in general. Out of state girls and in state girls are recruited at 50% 50%

Recs are just to get your foot in the door, otherwise they don’t mean much. Our local Panhellenic has a meeting and DD brought 18 copies of her resume so a woman from each chapter could do a rec . This was the main point of the meeting but all the information was helpful.

Best advice we’ve gotten from current girls is to keep an open mind. Don’t get hung up on certain houses. She is choosing them too. Legacy means almost nothing now- don’t worry about that. Wear comfortable clothes and remember that everyone is sweating, not just you. Bring birks or chaccos for walking to and from houses. Eat and sleep.

At Auburn, most girls who “don’t get a house” actually dropped out before the end of the week so it was their choice. There are trained girls in charge of helping all the girls get through the week and how to help the very few who don’t get a bid at all.

She’ll want a waterproof tote, a towel, and an umbrella that week too. They spend a lot of time sitting on the grass so keep that in mind when picking clothes too. They sit on the towels. Order an extra t shirt for philanthropy days - it’s hot!

Happy to help if you have more questions. Hope your daughter has a great time!

Ha. I remembering raining all rush week. I went through 40 years ago on a lark, just to see the houses. I didn't plan to join.

But I found the perfect match for me, and am still active 40 years later. Being in a sorority gave me a community in my 40,000 plush SEC campus.

We recently had a reunion, and it was a blast. Fun and easy. There were a few hard times back in college with fighting in the group, but overall it was fantastic.

[Anonymous]

haha plus, not plush ^^