Sorority Rush

[Anonymous]

*Alpha.... omg

[Anonymous]

I'm with the poster who is not upset with the exclusivity, just the exclusivity on crappy criteria. It's nothing like college applications that consider your achievements, interests and history. But for those of you with kids going into a school with a big Greek scene (I don't know about SEC, I was at UVA) if your DDs aren't into it, don't worry. The real issue with sororities is that much of the time it's deadly, deadly boring and mind-numbing. Making crafts and cutesy things for your big and little sisters,endless time planning for service projects compared to just doing them, endless time planning and rehashing just about everything. Constant support of the group and its members (this sounds nice, but it gets old...reminds me of the ms/hs labor of 'liking' every friends' instagram posts). If you now find PTA stuff numbing, it's a lot of the same vibe. They get girls freshman year when they're unsettled. I got out. IMO, so, so much better to join multiple affinity groups (acapella, theater, entrepreneurship) than to join a group where the affinity is the group itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any insight about rush at universities not in the DEC/deep south?

I rushed at UVa in the 80s and while there was definitely a pipeline of girls coming from Richmond prep schools and boarding schools who seemed to already know where they were going to pledge when they moved in first year., there were still girls like me, from DC, who got bids from what were considered the most elite houses (which were called the triple crown, gah)!

With social media et all, is it even worse, with so much of this is predecided... is a bit of a drag from kids who want to start over in college (like I did).

My daughter is at Wisconsin and she says the top houses are actually mostly out-of-state girls.

Which are the top houses at Wisconsin?

kappa kappa gamma

Kappas were founded in Illinois and pretty strong in the midwest and northern areas. Not as much in the South. This is very generally speaking.

[Anonymous]

Best thing that ever happened for my DD. Good luck OP

[Anonymous]

Turns out a lot of our older women friends are professionals AND members of DDs sorority. If it works for you it works for you. You can buy sorority gifts on Etsy if it’s too much work or just borrow them from the chapter. Some of those gifts are 10+ years old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Turns out a lot of our older women friends are professionals AND members of DDs sorority. If it works for you it works for you. You can buy sorority gifts on Etsy if it’s too much work or just borrow them from the chapter. Some of those gifts are 10+ years old.

PP: it's not that it was too much work, for me it was more a symptom of a way of thinking/being in a group that seemed numbing--and seemed to too narrowly define a lot of wonderful young women and waste their time and mental energy. Sororities might be the perfect place for some women, that's fine. And it may help some grow into their potential. I just think early rushes (and even spring of freshman year seems early to me) don't let young women become settled enough to make a real decision about whether they really want this and what their options are. It reminds me of the religious groups that also strike early at vulnerable points. I know they don't see themselves that way, but I do: rush creates false hoops to jump through, and false sense of achievement for a 'good rush' and generally heightens vulnerability at a vulnerable time. It seems like cult/grooming behavior. I experienced rush, joined, stayed through sophomore year and left a sorority (while staying good friends with some members). Clearly they are not a fit for me, but for a time in my freshman year they were able to convince me they were--and too much of my time/mental/emotional energy was spent joining, participating, and feeling bad about leaving. I feel it was a waste of my time at an important time of growth. So much more growth happened after I left. This perspective sometimes doesn't get heard because the women who last, who stay on as alums, are the women who it worked for. But you don't have to start out anti-Greek to become that way.

[Anonymous]

lame, small-minded people like greek life

[Anonymous]

I was an officer in a top sorority at a big SEC school. It was fun, but I would not encourage my DD to rush or pledge these days. Friendship, leadership, parties and philanthropy are readily available on every college campus without joining an antiquated, elitist club.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Turns out a lot of our older women friends are professionals AND members of DDs sorority. If it works for you it works for you. You can buy sorority gifts on Etsy if it’s too much work or just borrow them from the chapter. Some of those gifts are 10+ years old.

PP: it's not that it was too much work, for me it was more a symptom of a way of thinking/being in a group that seemed numbing--and seemed to too narrowly define a lot of wonderful young women and waste their time and mental energy. Sororities might be the perfect place for some women, that's fine. And it may help some grow into their potential. I just think early rushes (and even spring of freshman year seems early to me) don't let young women become settled enough to make a real decision about whether they really want this and what their options are. It reminds me of the religious groups that also strike early at vulnerable points. I know they don't see themselves that way, but I do: rush creates false hoops to jump through, and false sense of achievement for a 'good rush' and generally heightens vulnerability at a vulnerable time. It seems like cult/grooming behavior. I experienced rush, joined, stayed through sophomore year and left a sorority (while staying good friends with some members). Clearly they are not a fit for me, but for a time in my freshman year they were able to convince me they were--and too much of my time/mental/emotional energy was spent joining, participating, and feeling bad about leaving. I feel it was a waste of my time at an important time of growth. So much more growth happened after I left. This perspective sometimes doesn't get heard because the women who last, who stay on as alums, are the women who it worked for. But you don't have to start out anti-Greek to become that way.

Agree. DD rushed and despite high stats, a resume full of awards, sports, leadership, focused volunteerism with awards, AP with distinction, private school “grooming”, the right wardrobe, look, and average social skills, she got nothing but the house that’s known as taking everyone. They are probably wonderful girls who would make great friends but when you’re 17/18, you buy into the image, marketing, and social status of these things. She was devastated and felt universally rejected at her new school and humiliated. That schools allow this a week before classes start is inhumane. Now she has to navigate all the changes in her life and school under the fog of depression . She has too much class and depth for these organizations but it will be painful forever and sting the worst until she learns how much marketing goes into them and the truth behind the veneer of most of them. Most girls outgrow them by sophomore year but to an incoming Freshman, it seems like the greatest thing in the world- they manage their Instagram pages like pros- all fun, love, and smiles, beaches and world travel. And to be a part of something is so important to these young girls. Just sick that colleges time it like this.