How are kids supposed to address professors? Dr., Professor, first name? Daughter got rude reaction

[Anonymous]

Emails from students to faculty are not casual conversations. They should be professional at all times. Teach your kid how to correspond in a professional manner and the response they get will be far more generous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes they should be addressed as Professor, unless the prof says otherwise. Basic respect.

+100 - Your kids should have already learned this at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know there have been a number of past DCUM threads in which great scorn was heaped upon PhDs who wanted to be called "Doctor" in the workplace. "Ha, only an insecure uptight aszhole wants to be called doctor just because they have a PhD!"

But now, apparently, it's all about the Respect and Professionalism...

And before everyone says academia is not the same as the workplace, in fact, adults in the workplace should show more respect and professionalism to other adults with credentials than students at university should show to their professors, not less. Presuming, at least, that adults in the workplace are more mature than college students.

Those threads were mostly talking about social situations, or a workplace in terms of colleagues referencing each other. OP's kid is not a colleague, and it's not a social situation. She is a student. Someone who, by definition, is much lower on the totem pole and is there to learn from those above her.

I have a PhD and would never expect (or want) to be referred to as Dr in a social situation. I don't even select that as my title when filling out forms at medical practices. I also don't expect the office staff or tech staff at the universities to call me anything other than my first name. However, if a student just waltzed in and started talking to a room full of academics as if she's meeting them in a bar then that doesn't give a good impression.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the obvious takeaway is that your daughter has the wrong impression. Most professors do not prefer to have undergrads a dress them by their first name. Just because many professors have chosen not to correct her rudeness does not make it any less rude.

Note that not one, but two people have pulled your daughter aside to address her rude behavior. These people are trying to help her. Instead of taking the feedback and improving her manners you want to advise your daughter to insist that everyone likes her rudeness?!?

To be clear, they want to never be fired (tenure), fat salaries, pension, barely teach, we have to pay $60,000 a year for each kid's undergrad, and our kids better bootlick, or else? Gimme a break. Any professor who cares needs to get over themselves. Especially some hack liberal arts professor regurgitating the same lectures every semester about books written 400 years ago. You're not curing cancer, PROFESSOR.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know there have been a number of past DCUM threads in which great scorn was heaped upon PhDs who wanted to be called "Doctor" in the workplace. "Ha, only an insecure uptight aszhole wants to be called doctor just because they have a PhD!"

But now, apparently, it's all about the Respect and Professionalism...

And before everyone says academia is not the same as the workplace, in fact, adults in the workplace should show more respect and professionalism to other adults with credentials than students at university should show to their professors, not less. Presuming, at least, that adults in the workplace are more mature than college students.

Those threads were mostly talking about social situations, or a workplace in terms of colleagues referencing each other. OP's kid is not a colleague, and it's not a social situation. She is a student. Someone who, by definition, is much lower on the totem pole and is there to learn from those above her.

I have a PhD and would never expect (or want) to be referred to as Dr in a social situation. I don't even select that as my title when filling out forms at medical practices. I also don't expect the office staff or tech staff at the universities to call me anything other than my first name. However, if a student just waltzed in and started talking to a room full of academics as if she's meeting them in a bar then that doesn't give a good impression.

The professor is a well-paid employee, the student is the paying customer. Why does the student have to act like a servile throne sniffer?

[Anonymous]

OP, the bigger point is she's learning to adjust. Talking to you, and I'm going to guess complaining to you, and you posting this shows this is too much on your radar. This should only be on your daughter's radar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton years ago. The convention was that students addressed professors as Mr. or Ms. and the professor addressed students as Mr. or Ms.

Equality among scholars and all that.

My SLAC was the same way, but everyone used first names. Then again, all of my professors were cool and confident scholars. In my view, academics demanding to be called doctor or professor highlights some mental imbalance and/or professional insecurity.

I was also at a SLAC where faculty were Mr., Mrs. or Ms., but at other schools Dr. or Professor is traditional. That doesn't have anything to do with "mental imabalance or professional insecurity"; it's simply style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, the obvious takeaway is that your daughter has the wrong impression. Most professors do not prefer to have undergrads a dress them by their first name. Just because many professors have chosen not to correct her rudeness does not make it any less rude.

Note that not one, but two people have pulled your daughter aside to address her rude behavior. These people are trying to help her. Instead of taking the feedback and improving her manners you want to advise your daughter to insist that everyone likes her rudeness?!?

To be clear, they want to never be fired (tenure), fat salaries, pension, barely teach, we have to pay $60,000 a year for each kid's undergrad, and our kids better bootlick, or else? Gimme a break. Any professor who cares needs to get over themselves. Especially some hack liberal arts professor regurgitating the same lectures every semester about books written 400 years ago. You're not curing cancer, PROFESSOR.

Why are your kids going to colleges with hack professors and why are they studying liberal arts? If you wanted them at a better institution with better professors and for them to be learning better things than liberal arts then it seems like you should have done a better job of raising them.

[Anonymous]

<<You're not curing cancer, PROFESSOR.>>

This is hysterical. Who do you think is working on finding tomorrow's cancer cures?? PROFESSORS at medical schools, and the science departments of universities. Your ignorance is showing PP.

[Anonymous]

As a manager who sees a lot of young professionals, I'd like to send that professor and advisor a thank you letter. If more undergraduate institutions were instilling professional norms, my job would be 100 times easier.

I can't believe how many of the young people in my workplace need to be coached not to address (very) senior officials by their first names. It is mindblowing, honestly.

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of Trump-like, transactional types on this thread who see their children's professors (who are NOT highly paid, trust me) as cashiers who sell the the kids knowledge.

Where did you get such a crass, cynical view of scholars who mentor young adults? Doubt it was at a quality liberal arts school. Let me guess, did you major in finance? Pre-law?

[Anonymous]

When I was studying engineering, we addressed a faculty member as Dr. Soandso, and if someone didn't have a PhD, then we addressed that person as Professor Soandso. In my MBA school, many professors asked us to address them by their first names. Some did not, so we addressed them as Professor Soandso. Usually they announce in the first class if they want to be addressed by their first name.

[Anonymous]

M’y large liberal state university was all first name basis. Post masters degrees, I took graduate classes locally and called the professor, who was younger than I, by his first name in class. He spun around shocked and everyone stared. He didn’t tell me not to, but I realized I was in a new social environment. The older I get, the more pretentious it seems. I hate watching doctors call the elderly by their first names, while everyone calls them Dr. (And I come from a family of doctors.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes they should be addressed as Professor, unless the prof says otherwise. Basic respect.

+1

Basic respect

Basic common sense

Taught from toddlerhood

[Anonymous]

Most professors use Dr. Or professor.
Of they use first names they will usually let you know.