What attracts men to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Beauty
Confidence
Athletic/Physically active

These are my top three and I've said it before,

"a woman with a pleasing figure and a pleasant disposition will always be more popular with men than a very pretty woman with neither."

The good news, ladies, is you have a measure of control over your figure and your disposition. There's really no requirement to be a beauty queen.

Ugh, please don't refer to us as a collective "ladies". It's so condescending.

It doesn’t bother me, but then again I’m a lady who doesn’t walk around seeking reasons to be offended. I can see that you are already behind the 8-ball on attractive qualities.

Nah. You're a dude.

[Anonymous]

1) Beauty
2) Intelligence
3) Humor

I'm 36. I'd take the beautiful mid 30s over the average 20s. The reason? Beauty fades. The 30 year old is clearly doing something right to still be stunning. The average 20 year old may get worse. Also, it's important to note that high maintenance and conceit is a turn off regardless of how beautiful you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question I’ve been pondering about lately. I’m finding it very hard to find a nice guy to settle down with. I’ve been hearing different things from different people regarding the things men find attractive in a woman. However, they’re usually from a woman’s perspective. I would like to hear the men’s perspective regarding this, so I can understand them better and have realistic expectations.

I’ll list the qualities/attributes that a woman may possess:

Education levels [NO]
Youth [YES]
Wealth [NO]
Social Status [NO]
Career [NO, NO, NO]
Fertility [YES]
Independence [NO]
Beauty [YES, YES, YES, YES, YES]
Confidence [NO]
Athletic/Physically active [YES - but only matters if she's got youth and beauty]

If men were to select the top 3 attributes from the list that attracts them to a woman, what would they be?

And there's another one that will enrage the DCUM women, but you asked for a male perspective so here it is:

Reasonably low number of previous sexual partners. Meaning, less than ten. No man wants to marry a woman who has been with dozens of other guys.

+1
It's your thang. Do what you wanna do. I don't think a woman should limit her fun just to uphold some outdated sexist image of chastity. I do, however, know dozens of women who've lied to themselves about what sex means/meant to them. They were looking for validation or love, and they turned around and said the guys used them or "only wanted one thing." I don't know a lot of women who disassociate sex with emotion as much as most guys do. I'm not saying it's not possible, but I haven't seen it often. With that said, the women I know who've slept with dozens of guys have a lot of scars and baggage to show for it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

Doesn't matter why it matters. You might as well ask why it matters to women that a man is taller than them. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

It probably won't matter for casual dating, but it certainly matters for marriage. The more previous partners she's had, the more likely the marriage will end in divorce. Not to put too fine a point on it, if she's had a lot of previous partners, this decreases the odds that she will "stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him".

Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

...plundered?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your list is actually missing the 2 most important things
1. Not overweight
2. Sex positive
To be honest, beyond these 2, everything else is negotiable.

2, yeah, but some guys like the big girls...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

It matters only if you're an insecure douche worried that you won't measure up, or if you're firmly fixed in some sad virgin-whore complex.

See, I knew this thread would turn into women telling men what they should want, and shaming men for wanting what they actually want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. When I'm looking at online profiles, there is a certain minimum acceptable level of youth and beauty that is required. I'm not even going to click on someone who is older or less physically attractive than that. And file "athletic" under beauty, meaning, you can't be fat.

After that I'll consider education a plus.

Wealth and career are not positive attractors. They can only be a negative (i.e., if you're an obvious loser that's bad)

Independence and Confidence, don't care about at all.

I really don't understand this. Why wouldn't an accomplished lawyer or physician or CEO be more attractive than one who dithered around in life and never got her shit together?

As a man who has dated both doctors and lawyers, I will tell you. It is mainly because they are busy, and have no time for you. They are so totally focused on their career (and that's fine, they have to be) that you are only ever a distant second to them. Also, generally speaking, women like that are aggressive, argumentative, unpleasant pains in the ass. They spend all day being "in charge" and they can't turn it off at home. Fck that shit, I don't need it. I would far prefer to date a pleasant paralegal or nurse practitioner than a lawyer or doctor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

It matters only if you're an insecure douche worried that you won't measure up, or if you're firmly fixed in some sad virgin-whore complex.

See, I knew this thread would turn into women telling men what they should want, and shaming men for wanting what they actually want.

It's what some men want. It's not what fully adult men with decent sensibilities and a sense of perspective want. You don't speak for all men (thankfully).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

...plundered?

Yes, plundered. Pillaged, ransacked, ravaged, despoiled.

Are you getting the idea that men do not regard their women having given themselves to numerous other men as a good thing?

Good. Because it's true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. When I'm looking at online profiles, there is a certain minimum acceptable level of youth and beauty that is required. I'm not even going to click on someone who is older or less physically attractive than that. And file "athletic" under beauty, meaning, you can't be fat.

After that I'll consider education a plus.

Wealth and career are not positive attractors. They can only be a negative (i.e., if you're an obvious loser that's bad)

Independence and Confidence, don't care about at all.

I really don't understand this. Why wouldn't an accomplished lawyer or physician or CEO be more attractive than one who dithered around in life and never got her shit together?

As a man who has dated both doctors and lawyers, I will tell you. It is mainly because they are busy, and have no time for you. They are so totally focused on their career (and that's fine, they have to be) that you are only ever a distant second to them. Also, generally speaking, women like that are aggressive, argumentative, unpleasant pains in the ass. They spend all day being "in charge" and they can't turn it off at home. Fck that shit, I don't need it. I would far prefer to date a pleasant paralegal or nurse practitioner than a lawyer or doctor.

It's mystifying, then, that most such women are partnered or married. Apparently there are some men who don't think of relationships in terms of who's "in charge."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

It matters only if you're an insecure douche worried that you won't measure up, or if you're firmly fixed in some sad virgin-whore complex.

See, I knew this thread would turn into women telling men what they should want, and shaming men for wanting what they actually want.

It's what some men want. It's not what fully adult men with decent sensibilities and a sense of perspective want. You don't speak for all men (thankfully).

Even when I tell you that you're using useless shaming language that men will ignore, you just can't stop yourself. Sad!

Signed,

A fully adult man with decent sensibilities and a sense of perspective... and that's exactly why he's not going to wife up a slut

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

...plundered?

Yes, plundered. Pillaged, ransacked, ravaged, despoiled.

Are you getting the idea that men do not regard their women having given themselves to numerous other men as a good thing?

Good. Because it's true.

Dude, you're a sad, misogynistic little man. Having sex is not like getting attacked by a boatful of Somali pirates. When you actually sleep with someone for the first time, perhaps you'll understand this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here. When I'm looking at online profiles, there is a certain minimum acceptable level of youth and beauty that is required. I'm not even going to click on someone who is older or less physically attractive than that. And file "athletic" under beauty, meaning, you can't be fat.

After that I'll consider education a plus.

Wealth and career are not positive attractors. They can only be a negative (i.e., if you're an obvious loser that's bad)

Independence and Confidence, don't care about at all.

I really don't understand this. Why wouldn't an accomplished lawyer or physician or CEO be more attractive than one who dithered around in life and never got her shit together?

As a man who has dated both doctors and lawyers, I will tell you. It is mainly because they are busy, and have no time for you. They are so totally focused on their career (and that's fine, they have to be) that you are only ever a distant second to them. Also, generally speaking, women like that are aggressive, argumentative, unpleasant pains in the ass. They spend all day being "in charge" and they can't turn it off at home. Fck that shit, I don't need it. I would far prefer to date a pleasant paralegal or nurse practitioner than a lawyer or doctor.

It's mystifying, then, that most such women are partnered or married. Apparently there are some men who don't think of relationships in terms of who's "in charge."

Nope. They are far more likely to be single than women who are not so well-educated and career-oriented. The reason for this is not really a mystery. Most men want a pleasant and agreeable woman, not some careerist harpy.

I forget, is this thread about asking men what they want, or about women telling men what they should want? So hard to keep it on-track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

It matters only if you're an insecure douche worried that you won't measure up, or if you're firmly fixed in some sad virgin-whore complex.

See, I knew this thread would turn into women telling men what they should want, and shaming men for wanting what they actually want.

It's what some men want. It's not what fully adult men with decent sensibilities and a sense of perspective want. You don't speak for all men (thankfully).

Even when I tell you that you're using useless shaming language that men will ignore, you just can't stop yourself. Sad!

Signed,

A fully adult man with decent sensibilities and a sense of perspective... and that's exactly why he's not going to wife up a slut

I slutted around quite happily as a younger person. And I've been happily married for 20 years. Wait, should I go tell DH he "wifed up a slut"? He already knows my past, and because he's not a frightened little worm, he doesn't care.

Because it was the past. It aaalllll washes off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

...plundered?

Yes, plundered. Pillaged, ransacked, ravaged, despoiled.

Are you getting the idea that men do not regard their women having given themselves to numerous other men as a good thing?

Good. Because it's true.

Dude, you're a sad, misogynistic little man. Having sex is not like getting attacked by a boatful of Somali pirates. When you actually sleep with someone for the first time, perhaps you'll understand this.

Dudette, your shaming language is a failure, and only amuses me.