What attracts men to women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If men are so attracted to beauty, then why do they pass up beautiful women to marry plain ones? I have seen it many times, and it wasn’t like the plain ones were smarter or had better personalities either.

They’re pretty enough. It’s not he who dies with the prettiest woman wins. Plus they said yes and showed up. Showing up is 90% of success, and if you’re too busy to, you don’t count.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If men are so attracted to beauty, then why do they pass up beautiful women to marry plain ones? I have seen it many times, and it wasn’t like the plain ones were smarter or had better personalities either.

Well duh the woman gets a choice, too. Often as not a guy will marry the most beautiful woman he can. The beautiful one probably dumped him for taller / richer / higher status.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question I’ve been pondering about lately. I’m finding it very hard to find a nice guy to settle down with. I’ve been hearing different things from different people regarding the things men find attractive in a woman. However, they’re usually from a woman’s perspective. I would like to hear the men’s perspective regarding this, so I can understand them better and have realistic expectations.

I’ll list the qualities/attributes that a woman may possess:

Education levels [NO]
Youth [YES]
Wealth [NO]
Social Status [NO]
Career [NO, NO, NO]
Fertility [YES]
Independence [NO]
Beauty [YES, YES, YES, YES, YES]
Confidence [NO]
Athletic/Physically active [YES - but only matters if she's got youth and beauty]

If men were to select the top 3 attributes from the list that attracts them to a woman, what would they be?

And there's another one that will enrage the DCUM women, but you asked for a male perspective so here it is:

Reasonably low number of previous sexual partners. Meaning, less than ten. No man wants to marry a woman who has been with dozens of other guys.

Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If men are so attracted to beauty, then why do they pass up beautiful women to marry plain ones? I have seen it many times, and it wasn’t like the plain ones were smarter or had better personalities either.

They’re pretty enough. It’s not he who dies with the prettiest woman wins. Plus they said yes and showed up. Showing up is 90% of success, and if you’re too busy to, you don’t count.

Tell that to OP of the other thread who is trying to cut off a guy who won’t give her the time of day. She is showing up for him and is getting the slow it down we are evolving line.

[Anonymous]

Your list is actually missing the 2 most important things
1. Not overweight
2. Sex positive
To be honest, beyond these 2, everything else is negotiable.

[Anonymous]

What about just general compatibility?

Kindness, laughing at your jokes, thoughtfulness, and a cute unique physical attribute that you can't get out of your mind?

Versus say, a vapid and annoying personality, bad hygiene, being overly high maintenance, being generally dumb with nothing to talk about

The "hot" girls get the dates, but the compatible girls get the relationships.

[Anonymous]

PP - I agree a low maintenance personality is key. You'd have to be Miss Universe beautiful to compensate for a high maintenance personality. And we all know that the looks won't last but the personality will never improve.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

Doesn't matter why it matters. You might as well ask why it matters to women that a man is taller than them. Maybe it shouldn't, but it does.

It probably won't matter for casual dating, but it certainly matters for marriage. The more previous partners she's had, the more likely the marriage will end in divorce. Not to put too fine a point on it, if she's had a lot of previous partners, this decreases the odds that she will "stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him".

Finally, the question is not what men should want, but what men do want. And they don't want a girl who has been plundered by countless other guys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about just general compatibility?

Kindness, laughing at your jokes, thoughtfulness, and a cute unique physical attribute that you can't get out of your mind?

Versus say, a vapid and annoying personality, bad hygiene, being overly high maintenance, being generally dumb with nothing to talk about

The "hot" girls get the dates, but the compatible girls get the relationships.

"General compatibility" is nice, but she's still got to make it over the "basic level of youth and beauty" hurdle.

If she doesn't have the minimum level of youth and beauty, it doesn't matter how great her personality is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Male here - when I was in college and in my early 20’s it was all about looks, fun and having a good time. When I hit my mid 20’s and had my career going, looks were still important but intelligence, personality and compatibility became very important. Getting married wasn’t my goal but I was getting smarter and more mature in terms of what made for a good relationship. I was friends with a woman I worked with who was “girl next door” pretty but not a knock out but over time I realized she was incredibly smart, very nice and we got along very well. It took three years for us to get together but it was such an easy relationship to slip into. That was 31 years ago and it’s been a wonderful relationship. Also, she has aged incredibly well while some of my old hot GF’s look pretty bad.

+1

Woman here, and I totally agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about just general compatibility?

Kindness, laughing at your jokes, thoughtfulness, and a cute unique physical attribute that you can't get out of your mind?

Versus say, a vapid and annoying personality, bad hygiene, being overly high maintenance, being generally dumb with nothing to talk about

The "hot" girls get the dates, but the compatible girls get the relationships.

"General compatibility" is nice, but she's still got to make it over the "basic level of youth and beauty" hurdle.

If she doesn't have the minimum level of youth and beauty, it doesn't matter how great her personality is.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about just general compatibility?

Kindness, laughing at your jokes, thoughtfulness, and a cute unique physical attribute that you can't get out of your mind?

Versus say, a vapid and annoying personality, bad hygiene, being overly high maintenance, being generally dumb with nothing to talk about

The "hot" girls get the dates, but the compatible girls get the relationships.

"General compatibility" is nice, but she's still got to make it over the "basic level of youth and beauty" hurdle.

If she doesn't have the minimum level of youth and beauty, it doesn't matter how great her personality is.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, truly.

To add, one man's "beauty" is another man's "high maintenance, avoid at all costs".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a question I’ve been pondering about lately. I’m finding it very hard to find a nice guy to settle down with. I’ve been hearing different things from different people regarding the things men find attractive in a woman. However, they’re usually from a woman’s perspective. I would like to hear the men’s perspective regarding this, so I can understand them better and have realistic expectations.

I’ll list the qualities/attributes that a woman may possess:

Education levels [NO]
Youth [YES]
Wealth [NO]
Social Status [NO]
Career [NO, NO, NO]
Fertility [YES]
Independence [NO]
Beauty [YES, YES, YES, YES, YES]
Confidence [NO]
Athletic/Physically active [YES - but only matters if she's got youth and beauty]

If men were to select the top 3 attributes from the list that attracts them to a woman, what would they be?

And there's another one that will enrage the DCUM women, but you asked for a male perspective so here it is:

Reasonably low number of previous sexual partners. Meaning, less than ten. No man wants to marry a woman who has been with dozens of other guys.

Why would that matter to a guy, weather a woman had 3 previous sexual partners or 13? What difference does it make to a guy? If the woman he marries stays incredible loyal and has only eyes for him, in what way would her previous sexual history bother him?

It matters only if you're an insecure douche worried that you won't measure up, or if you're firmly fixed in some sad virgin-whore complex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here. When I'm looking at online profiles, there is a certain minimum acceptable level of youth and beauty that is required. I'm not even going to click on someone who is older or less physically attractive than that. And file "athletic" under beauty, meaning, you can't be fat.

After that I'll consider education a plus.

Wealth and career are not positive attractors. They can only be a negative (i.e., if you're an obvious loser that's bad)

Independence and Confidence, don't care about at all.

I really don't understand this. Why wouldn't an accomplished lawyer or physician or CEO be more attractive than one who dithered around in life and never got her shit together?

I mean, I'm gay, so I'm probably not the right commenter here, but unless I'm looking for someone who has endless free time to make me sandwiches and meet me at the door with my slippers, I'd prefer a smart person who doesn't need to be taken care of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Beauty
Confidence
Athletic/Physically active

These are my top three and I've said it before,

"a woman with a pleasing figure and a pleasant disposition will always be more popular with men than a very pretty woman with neither."

The good news, ladies, is you have a measure of control over your figure and your disposition. There's really no requirement to be a beauty queen.

Ugh, please don't refer to us as a collective "ladies". It's so condescending.

It doesn’t bother me, but then again I’m a lady who doesn’t walk around seeking reasons to be offended. I can see that you are already behind the 8-ball on attractive qualities.