If you married someone you don't love, why did you do it? How did it end?

[Anonymous]

Meh, I married someone I loved a lot and it ended very badly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My priest says that whenever he sits down with a couple and hears the words “soul mate” he knows that they are doomed/ idiots.

This is very sad. When I met my DH, I knew we could be very good friends after a few min, after a few dates, we knew we were soulmates- that we had a special connection (before we had sex and without alcohol involved) We are very happily married 35 years now. We have many inside jokes and looks with a lot of fun, We would rather spend time with each other alone than with anyone else. (Our 2nd choice would be to spend time as a family with our kids. )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married bc I wanted kids and he was a nice guy. Not the love of my life, not the best sex ever, but perfect timing as we both wanted to settle down. It has been 17 years and been fine/good. Occasionally I miss the passion of my younger years/lovers but not often. Good is good.

Same here. 10 years of marriage, 2 kids, we are very good co-parents, great friends, occasionally good lovers. Life is good although I sometimes miss the passion and wonder if I made a mistake. But I mostly consider that I want to work on my marriage and bring more love into it. And it seems doable. So for the moment no regrets

If either of you said 16 years of marriage I would think you are my DW. I just always felt that I was good enough, she had been through a rough break up before we met and I think she wanted a family and I was close enough. We have a pretty solid marriage now, and still active sex life. I think she learned to love me through the years if that makes sense

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My priest says that whenever he sits down with a couple and hears the words “soul mate” he knows that they are doomed/ idiots.

This is very sad. When I met my DH, I knew we could be very good friends after a few min, after a few dates, we knew we were soulmates- that we had a special connection (before we had sex and without alcohol involved) We are very happily married 35 years now. We have many inside jokes and looks with a lot of fun, We would rather spend time with each other alone than with anyone else. (Our 2nd choice would be to spend time as a family with our kids. )

Yes, this is sad and judgmental. I never believed in soulmate myself and never thought much of it, until I met him. Of course, he did not believe in soulmate either and it took us by surprise. And what we have experienced is similar to what other people described when they met their soulmate. That term has been overused and might sound cheesy and corny, but when you really experience it, you know.

[Anonymous]

I never believed in soulmates, certainly not when I got married. Now I think I do ... it isn't my husband.

[Anonymous]

Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

Soulmate has nothing to do with the belief that "you were made for someone." But it is so rare that you usually only experience it only once in your life (if you are lucky). It is a connection that goes well beyond the five senses, the languages of love and all of that stuff. But I understand that if you never experience it you might brush it off as fairy tales believes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

Soulmate has nothing to do with the belief that "you were made for someone." But it is so rare that you usually only experience it only once in your life (if you are lucky). It is a connection that goes well beyond the five senses, the languages of love and all of that stuff. But I understand that if you never experience it you might brush it off as fairy tales believes.

Lol. I find it very easy to connect to many people on a deep level and have been consumed by love many times. Still, save your childishness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

Soulmate has nothing to do with the belief that "you were made for someone." But it is so rare that you usually only experience it only once in your life (if you are lucky). It is a connection that goes well beyond the five senses, the languages of love and all of that stuff. But I understand that if you never experience it you might brush it off as fairy tales believes.

Lol. I find it very easy to connect to many people on a deep level and have been consumed by love many times. Still, save your childishness.

I am glad you are happy with your life, and I should know DCUM is not the place to talk about that, as most of the posts will be like yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

Soulmate has nothing to do with the belief that "you were made for someone." But it is so rare that you usually only experience it only once in your life (if you are lucky). It is a connection that goes well beyond the five senses, the languages of love and all of that stuff. But I understand that if you never experience it you might brush it off as fairy tales believes.

X2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

Soulmate has nothing to do with the belief that "you were made for someone." But it is so rare that you usually only experience it only once in your life (if you are lucky). It is a connection that goes well beyond the five senses, the languages of love and all of that stuff. But I understand that if you never experience it you might brush it off as fairy tales believes.

X2

DH and I have been married for ten years and together 8 years before that. Never believed in love at first sight or soulmates or any of that gushy crap, but our connection was instantaneous and deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

Soulmate has nothing to do with the belief that "you were made for someone." But it is so rare that you usually only experience it only once in your life (if you are lucky). It is a connection that goes well beyond the five senses, the languages of love and all of that stuff. But I understand that if you never experience it you might brush it off as fairy tales believes.

X2

DH and I have been married for ten years and together 8 years before that. Never believed in love at first sight or soulmates or any of that gushy crap, but our connection was instantaneous and deep.

That’s great. And common. A soul mate is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

Soulmate has nothing to do with the belief that "you were made for someone." But it is so rare that you usually only experience it only once in your life (if you are lucky). It is a connection that goes well beyond the five senses, the languages of love and all of that stuff. But I understand that if you never experience it you might brush it off as fairy tales believes.

X2

DH and I have been married for ten years and together 8 years before that. Never believed in love at first sight or soulmates or any of that gushy crap, but our connection was instantaneous and deep.

That’s great. And common. A soul mate is not.

My point was that I think this is what people refer to as soul mate, meaning instant deep connection. At least that's what I think when I hear the term. Anyway, getting off track and sorry to derail. ..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My priest says that whenever he sits down with a couple and hears the words “soul mate” he knows that they are doomed/ idiots.

This is very sad. When I met my DH, I knew we could be very good friends after a few min, after a few dates, we knew we were soulmates- that we had a special connection (before we had sex and without alcohol involved) We are very happily married 35 years now. We have many inside jokes and looks with a lot of fun, We would rather spend time with each other alone than with anyone else. (Our 2nd choice would be to spend time as a family with our kids. )

Barf!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Soulmates is a silly concept that requires you to believe some fairytale that you were “made” for someone. It absolves you of the responsibility of actively loving your partner. It’s far less romantic than you think.

Soulmate has nothing to do with the belief that "you were made for someone." But it is so rare that you usually only experience it only once in your life (if you are lucky). It is a connection that goes well beyond the five senses, the languages of love and all of that stuff. But I understand that if you never experience it you might brush it off as fairy tales believes.

X2

Barf again.
Believing this stuff means that you’ll just abandon your steady relationship and run off with your ‘once in a lifetime soul mate’ is that right?
And the regular every day life of paying the bills, working long hours, changing diapers , your MIL berating you, cleaning and waiting for the appliance repairman does nothing to dampen any of your moony eyed feelings ever, is that right?
I’ve loved my DH for 30+ years now both during marriage and friendship but you guys’ gushing descriptions of your relationships makes you seem like insufferable assholes.