DUMBEST argument, but bigger issues

[Anonymous]

Op, report back when he realizes what he bought was not soy milk!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. He does have this utter need to be right, but never taken it this far. So this is sort of a one-off. Sorry I didn't come back, I had calls/work I was doing! I think I've decided that I'm going to just let this BS go and he'll figure it out in about 3 weeks when all the "soy milk" is going bad... Because every "solution" I keep thinking of makes me look a crazy person arguing about milk. When he blew up at me, all I said was, "I am seriously not going to argue with you over milk." That was it. I walked away. Something else has to be going on. I mean, who the hell argues that a hamburger is broccoli, just because they accidentally picked up hamburger? It's too bizarre.

He has a need to be right? Sounds like both of you do

[Anonymous]

He sounds very defensive however I highly doubt your comments and actions were as calm as you indicate. He likely heard the passive aggressiveness and your irritation / criticism in them. So while he overreacted, I don't think it came out of nowhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. He does have this utter need to be right, but never taken it this far. So this is sort of a one-off. Sorry I didn't come back, I had calls/work I was doing! I think I've decided that I'm going to just let this BS go and he'll figure it out in about 3 weeks when all the "soy milk" is going bad... Because every "solution" I keep thinking of makes me look a crazy person arguing about milk. When he blew up at me, all I said was, "I am seriously not going to argue with you over milk." That was it. I walked away. Something else has to be going on. I mean, who the hell argues that a hamburger is broccoli, just because they accidentally picked up hamburger? It's too bizarre.

This could have happened in my house. I NEVER ask my DH to go grocery shopping b/c somehow he associates with his mother - who was nitpicky as hell. I saw that once when there was a screaming fight between them over Dove bars. If he says he's going to the store I might ask him to pick up something that is impossible to screw up. I actually hate when he does go shopping b/c he calls no less than 3 or 4 times and asks me to clarify, or do I want this brand, etc. It always ends up with me being the bad guy no matter what I do.

Anyway, I'm not suggesting that you did anything wrong, the above is just for context, but for my husband that's what at the root of it. I usually just drop it.

The one time recently I dug in is when he refused to admit the girl in the red coat in Schindler's list was the same little girl Schindler later sees on a cart carrying dead bodies. He finally admitted I was right but I was PISSED. I understand the frustration of trying to argue with crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. He does have this utter need to be right, but never taken it this far. So this is sort of a one-off. Sorry I didn't come back, I had calls/work I was doing! I think I've decided that I'm going to just let this BS go and he'll figure it out in about 3 weeks when all the "soy milk" is going bad... Because every "solution" I keep thinking of makes me look a crazy person arguing about milk. When he blew up at me, all I said was, "I am seriously not going to argue with you over milk." That was it. I walked away. Something else has to be going on. I mean, who the hell argues that a hamburger is broccoli, just because they accidentally picked up hamburger? It's too bizarre.

He has a need to be right? Sounds like both of you do

Pointing out the objective obviousness of what milk is and is not is a not a need to be right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. He does have this utter need to be right, but never taken it this far. So this is sort of a one-off. Sorry I didn't come back, I had calls/work I was doing! I think I've decided that I'm going to just let this BS go and he'll figure it out in about 3 weeks when all the "soy milk" is going bad... Because every "solution" I keep thinking of makes me look a crazy person arguing about milk. When he blew up at me, all I said was, "I am seriously not going to argue with you over milk." That was it. I walked away. Something else has to be going on. I mean, who the hell argues that a hamburger is broccoli, just because they accidentally picked up hamburger? It's too bizarre.

He has a need to be right? Sounds like both of you do

Pointing out the objective obviousness of what milk is and is not is a not a need to be right.

Pointing it out multiple times is

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He probably feels dumb for buying the wrong milk and didn't like it being pointed out.

He should run for president. I hear you can do that these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not explaining this right.

It's not about him making a dumb mistake. We all do. It's this digging in his heals and then getting mad at me for not going along with his "explanation" that it's really what he said it was. That's the issue. He's mad at ME for not drinking the [kool-aid] milk, when as I said, I don't care if I even have the damn milk. It "became an issue" when he saw me put my cereal away, and then got mad at me. Yelled at me for not eating what he claims to be soy milk.

Seriously, you all would be OK with that? Getting yelled at over breakfast when you just tried to have a damn bowl of cereal?

Yes I don't get why people are responding to you the way they have been. This strikes me as gaslighting on a major level.

[Anonymous]

Is he apologizing by now for being an a**hole? I'd be patronizing as hell if he wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Oh good, another post where the woman is always right.

[Anonymous]

I've posted a couple of times the idiocy that was my DH and grocery shopping. made him a list with three items.
1.eggs
2. bread
3. rice noodles
He came back with three packs of rice noodles! I said why do we need so many noodles? He said you wrote 3!
But, he bought one loaf of bread and dozen eggs! Not one egg! Men are so stupid sometime. It is hard not to think they lower on the evolution pole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh good, another post where the woman is always right.

Because we usually are? Suck it up buttercup, in words of another pp. Did we hurt your little ego, sweetie? Oh, no let me put some burn cream on it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh good, another post where the woman is always right.

Well, if the guy is saying cow's milk is soy milk.... he's wrong!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. He does have this utter need to be right, but never taken it this far. So this is sort of a one-off. Sorry I didn't come back, I had calls/work I was doing! I think I've decided that I'm going to just let this BS go and he'll figure it out in about 3 weeks when all the "soy milk" is going bad... Because every "solution" I keep thinking of makes me look a crazy person arguing about milk. When he blew up at me, all I said was, "I am seriously not going to argue with you over milk." That was it. I walked away. Something else has to be going on. I mean, who the hell argues that a hamburger is broccoli, just because they accidentally picked up hamburger? It's too bizarre.

He has a need to be right? Sounds like both of you do

Pointing out the objective obviousness of what milk is and is not is a not a need to be right.

Pointing it out multiple times is

Two plus two will never be five sweetie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks all. He does have this utter need to be right, but never taken it this far. So this is sort of a one-off. Sorry I didn't come back, I had calls/work I was doing! I think I've decided that I'm going to just let this BS go and he'll figure it out in about 3 weeks when all the "soy milk" is going bad... Because every "solution" I keep thinking of makes me look a crazy person arguing about milk. When he blew up at me, all I said was, "I am seriously not going to argue with you over milk." That was it. I walked away. Something else has to be going on. I mean, who the hell argues that a hamburger is broccoli, just because they accidentally picked up hamburger? It's too bizarre.

He has a need to be right? Sounds like both of you do

Pointing out the objective obviousness of what milk is and is not is a not a need to be right.

Pointing it out multiple times is

Two plus two will never be five sweetie.

Exactly. Everybody knows that so why do you need to hear you're right?