Is there a legit reason for this sketchy behavior

[Anonymous]

Have you met any of his friends yet?

[Anonymous]

I don't know if it's sketchy, but it's certainly far beyond the bounds of normal behavior. It's always important to recognize that and be able to talk through it truthfully with your partner. Even if there's an "innocent" explanation -- like he's a total slob and it took him 9 months to clean up -- you need to be able to discuss that and what it means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are you OP? We need some answers.

Speaking only for myself, I really need OP to get to the bottom of this today!

[Anonymous]

Is his name Jack? My friend dated a guy who was very weird about showing his place. At first it was because his dog didn’t like new people and then other lame excuses. When she finally got to see it, it was fine. And there was no dog. No sign of a dog either. Another friend told her to look up the address and sure enough, it was an AirBnB. She confronted him and it turns out he’s a 33 yo who loves with his prenats and was too embarrassed to mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are you OP? We need some answers.

Speaking only for myself, I really need OP to get to the bottom of this today!

Haha, me too! Post the address, OP, and us DCUM sleuths will have this mystery solved before dinner time!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM. I have been dating a guy for nine months exclusively. Until yesterday, he wouldn’t let me see his apartment or meet his dog. He had a lot of excuses that at first seemed normal but then progressively got thinner, but I did believe him. Mostly that his apartment is a dump and super run down. It flooded after some pipes burst a few months ago so that was a whole thing for a while why I couldn’t see it. I have put my foot down and we picked a date for me to see it, and then he pushed that back a few times. Finally I saw the place last night. He has a cool place and a great dog. He says he only sees the parts of the apartment that need work so he thinks it’s a dump. But the place is great.

I don’t think he’s hiding a wife, it looks like he only lives there. But my sister asked, unprompted, if I am the other woman when I told her all of this and now I can’t get that out of my head. Should I take his explanation at face value or is this as weird as my sister thinks?

Ok, is it possible he was, or still is, homeless and that this ("his place") is not really his place, but that of someone else he has either borrowed it from temporarily or even just took illegally entered it while he knew the real occupant or occupants would be away? Were there any signs of breaking an entering, such as damaged door frame, etc? If not, perhaps he is in tremendous debt and only recently came into money, from a relative or court action, and only now could be actually afford to acquire an apartment, especially one is that is so wonderful

[Anonymous]

Look him up on Stud or Dud app or just google him and see if the addresses are the same

[Anonymous]

Did he use a key to enter the place or did the door "just happen" to be open? If so, it may have been a random unoccupied (and unlocked) apartment that he entered saying "Well, here it is, my apartment." Is this really his place or not? Whose dog is it? His? Did it appear familiar with him?

[Anonymous]

He lives with s woman and this is sisters place. What was she doing there ?

[Anonymous]

No reason to confront him at this point without doing some additional research. Start with a simple google search. If that doesn't get you anywhere, then try a reverse address search on Spokeo. It will cost you $2 I think. Or if he claims to own the place, you could just search the property tax records for that jurisdiction.

(I know I sound like a crazy person, but I ended up married to a sociopath who lied about his entire background so now I check up on this kind of stuff when new men come into my life. Trust but verify.)

But to answer your original question... no, there's no legit reason for this sketchy behavior. While some explanations are less problematic than others (e.g. not wanting to admit to having a roommate vs. cheating), I don't think I would want to date someone who lied or at least misrepresented the truth for our entire relationship.

[Anonymous]

This would be too odd for me and would make it hard for me to trust him

[Anonymous]

Nine months and you didn't meet his dog??

[Anonymous]

Run far and fast honey

[Anonymous]

If you ask him questions, he’ll probably have answers. That doesn’t make what he says the truth. Trust your instincts, OP. Something’s not right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM. I have been dating a guy for nine months exclusively. Until yesterday, he wouldn’t let me see his apartment or meet his dog. He had a lot of excuses that at first seemed normal but then progressively got thinner, but I did believe him. Mostly that his apartment is a dump and super run down. It flooded after some pipes burst a few months ago so that was a whole thing for a while why I couldn’t see it. I have put my foot down and we picked a date for me to see it, and then he pushed that back a few times. Finally I saw the place last night. He has a cool place and a great dog. He says he only sees the parts of the apartment that need work so he thinks it’s a dump. But the place is great.

I don’t think he’s hiding a wife, it looks like he only lives there. But my sister asked, unprompted, if I am the other woman when I told her all of this and now I can’t get that out of my head. Should I take his explanation at face value or is this as weird as my sister thinks?

Who takes care of the dog when you all are together? THINK, lady.