If you’ve considered suicide, what keeps you from doing it?

[Anonymous]

How it would affect my daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What stopped me from obsessing about suicide (which I did from 9-22 years old) was that I told myself that I will definitely do it when I'm older. I know that sounds weird. I promised myself I would do it at a later time and, each time I thought about it, I reminded myself it was settled and I am(was) going to do it when I'm older. Eventually, I stopped thinking about suicide or even considering it as an option. I am 48 years old now and I am content to live my life and to see it through to the end.

You sound a lot like me. I’ve been a lot mentally healthier for years now, but back when it was bad the contemplation of suicide was like a pressure release valve for me. There was this sense of “I don’t think I can live like this, it’s so bad,” and realizing that I could end it if it got unbearable was like a secret solution that I kept in my back pocket. As long as I COULD do it later if I needed to was enough to get me through.

I wasn’t one of those who didn’t do it because I thought it would hurt my family; I was convinced that they would be much better off without me. That’s not a statement about lack of love in my life, but how f@cked up the mental illness thought process can be. It was like being possessed by your worst enemy, someone who hates you and is constantly wrestling with your natural will to live.

Yeah, I felt the same way. I'm glad we made it through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if I did, my children would be 3 times more likely to commit suicide themselves one day. (Per research at Johns Hopkins)

This is why suicide is considered 'contagious'. If you now someone who has committed suicide, it makes it more acceptable as a solution.

My two brothers killed themselves over 25 years ago. As PPs have said, it's a pain that never really goes away. I still catch myself sometimes thinking I'll hear their voices when I pick up the phone. While I believe in assisted suicide, I'd never do what they did to my loved ones. I'm sorry their pain was so great that it outweighed what they knew their deaths would do to us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could support you in real life OP.

Me too.

There are so many people who care - even if you haven't found them in real life yet.

20 years in the USA and have not found one person who cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could support you in real life OP.

Me too.

There are so many people who care - even if you haven't found them in real life yet.

20 years in the USA and have not found one person who cares.

Then you are meeting the wrong people. Or you suck as a human being and are giving people a reason not to care...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was younger — my mom.
Now — my kids.

For me, both.

[Anonymous]

Because I don't have any earthly idea what tomorrow holds, my brain is probably lying to me in that moment, and my loved ones would be devastated. They would never recover. And if I'm not going to stick around for me, I'm going to stick around for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could support you in real life OP.

Me too.

There are so many people who care - even if you haven't found them in real life yet.

20 years in the USA and have not found one person who cares.

I feel the same, so alone.

Keep posting, I care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids and the thought that it may be a failed attempt, leaving me to live with a permanent disability and be a burden.

I think about this too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish I could support you in real life OP.

Me too.

There are so many people who care - even if you haven't found them in real life yet.

20 years in the USA and have not found one person who cares.

I feel the same, so alone.

Keep posting, I care.

I know there are people that care join a church or other spiritual group. The meditation group Tara Brach runs in bethesda is great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was younger — my mom.
Now — my kids.

Same here.

[Anonymous]

My kids

[Anonymous]

I don't want my pets to be in shelters (again). They are the reason I get up in the morning. Nobody else would care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because permanent solutions to temporary problems are illogical

I hate that that phrase is always getting trotted out. My temporary problems are not temporary. I've had them for 40-ish years. They're not going anywhere.

Well, then you’re already aware of your alternatives.

[Anonymous]

Laziness. I need to clean and kon mari my house and get my affairs in order so that I don't leave a mess for others to clean up (I don't have a husband anymore and no kids, so this would fall to distant relatives or possibly neighbors? I don't know). I have started digging in though.